"Mom, mom,"*  calls Susie
back home after school
in her new spurt of teenage energy
"I've decided:
when I grow up
I'm going to be a pop singer"

"But sweetheart," says mom,
the cool one
classy at all times
*"You know you can't do both"

Dear Algebra Teacher -
stop asking us to find
your X
We can’t help you
if you mess it up

Next time, treat your partner nice
so you don’t have
to bring your personal problems
to class

So stop asking us to find your X;
we don’t know if you’ll ever find her
and we got a feeling your X
is never coming back
and really -  before you ask -
we don’t know Y either

it is written in the Olde Booke of Life
that when the Lion went unto the wild
to have its fill, when first it felt Hunger
the King of Beasts saw two creatures:
a human, under a tree, reading a book;
and a human, under a tree, writing a book
and the Lion ate the reader
for its inner voice told the King of Beasts:
"Eat the reader - for that is digestible;
but partake not of the writer
for it is susceptible to cramps
and worse, may cause a block"

And since then hath the Lion
lived in this wisdom:
*Eat of the reader, never of the writer

I lost too much
Begged for forgiveness I didn't want
Prayed to midnight suns
Just to repeat the only verse in its lullaby
I cared to listen to
I turned my back on hands outstretched
Beacons of hope at the end of the tunnel
Yet I picked myself up
Didn't bother brushing myself off
I knew I'd be right back down in that same whole
Only 20 seconds after finding my balance
I'll tell you what happened to me
In that not so distant past
I was a victim to my own demons
Thew ones night couldn't forge
The ones day lost all faith at the sight of
I'm now just that average person
Who found a way out
But wished the whole was a little bigger
I'm the rabbit in every whole
Hiding in at night
Running away from at daybreak
Home will never be home
Love will never be known
I'm the outcast of a society
They didn't realize they rejected
Yet when the tears fall
They'll only ask
What happened to you
Even if I tried
What really happened to me
Isn't easily comprehended
From someone who tries to hide
The most obvious of pain

I hate the way it curves up
Each muscle in your face aching to be released
I hate your smile
Only because I know its fake
You don't even realize it anymore
You've become so accustomed to it
Nobody can tell the mask from your real complexion
Not even your reflection
I hate your smile
When you hide the frown
I'd rather you let me try and make it real
I hate the way that bright red lipstick
Glues it into place
The way the mascara seems to stain the edges
From every midnight love attempt from your pillow
Ending only in failure when the sun reaches your window
You can't hide from me
I can see through it all
I hate your smile
Mainly because it resembles mine all to much

My lies would spew
Through every tooth each wall will bear
The games I played with death
Would only send my parents into cardiac arrest
Woman's names would dance of its tongue
As they echo each moan
I made louder with each ******
How the hell would any one know
That I'm not crazy but ludicrous
Idiotic in the definition
If these walls could talk
It would be a crime to live anymore
Jailhouses would open every cell
Every hound whispering the secrets
I once buried under three coats of white
He's a murderer
He's an addict
He's obsessed with his scars
They should have given him the chair
But these walls hold their tongues
Because I'm the only friend they have
Till the new owners come to town
Which might be never
Because no woman seems to want
This hearty home everyone deems
A fixer upper

I guess you wouldn't see this everyday
A 43 year old man writing in a diary
But hell what other choice do I have
See a shrink
Talk my problems out

So I'll give you the details
My names Karl 43 yrs old
Divorced 5 times
7 children I barely get to see
Kids mothers think I have manic depression
Judges took my supervised visitation rights away
Because I had a mental breakdown
Ended up in the psych-ward for a month
I'm working three jobs
Little Ceasers, Raising Canes, and a handyman
I'm living in my moms basement
Paying rent out the ***
Even though I'm barely here
You tell me if I've had it rough
My dad drank himself to death
Beating my mother and me
My older brother died during service
My younger sister is a crack fiend
And I've spent more money on her
To stay in rehab than I have on clothes
For both me and my kids
I've been recently cutting
I saw my oldest do it
When I confronted him
He said it relieved the pain
He was right
Still feels wrong
I just wonder when enough is enough
When you finally give up
I've been a devoted Christian
Yet I've never seen the end of it
The constant pain
The endless torture of reality
Hell would be my heaven right now
I have no friends
I don't have a single clue
Where my life went to
But I'm sure it's heading nowhere fast
Thought about ending it
But the picture of me and my kids
Always seems to stop me cold
I just wish I could say I'm sorry
That I wish I could be a better father
A more devoted husband
But how can I do any of that
When the woman I've been with
Only wanted my wallet more than my heart
I don't even remember the smell of cologne
I guess I'm just rambling
But how old do you need to be
To die from a broken heart

the cage has its qualities.

there is air.
they bring me water.

but the key is buried under a pile
of madness, regrets, and disillusion.

and in that heap,
no love is found.

after you **** it away too many times,
it retreats away,
and you're never to find it again.

the cage has a poor-quality plastic lock.
and i think i can break it with screams.

but it just screams back.

when i close my eyes,
all i hear is laughter.

everyone is elated
for the hedonist's deserved fate.

and i drink to them,

for my failure goes hand in hand with theirs.