I can't
I can't
I can't
I can't
I cant
I can't
I can't



(Try Again)


I can.

The end
It's almost upon me
Approaching like a cheetah
I cannot escape

The night I get dressed up
With a gown around me
The hat on my head
The tassels

The cords around my neck
Strangling me
Making it hard to breathe
The words escaping

I don't want this night to come
The stage lights producing sweat
As I walk across to receive a piece of paper
Saying I made it
I survived

I'm meant to celebrate
The end of my journey
The end of the hell
All my classmates put me through

But that night
When I move my tassel
Will be the beginning
Of my goodbyes

There have been very few
To be by my side
To encourage me
To love me

While some leave with me
To places unknown
I must leave some back
To survive alone in this ring of fire

I won't survive the night
Without tears down my face
Without choking on my words
My fears

How do you tell someone
That you love them
And that they alone
Have helped you live

No one said goodbyes were easy
But now I know what they mean
I feel it in my heart
The emptiness
The loneliness

So I walk towards my teacher
Thinking about my friends
Grab the diploma
And cry

I write my friends letters
Personalized to our shared experiences
I get them roses, pounds of candy
And tell them how beautiful they are

Some call me "the sweetest"
Or "the nicest they've ever known"
But I never believe it
I can't

These actions are normal to me
I give my friends and strangers gifts
To make their days brighter
Their smiles wider

Some yell when I deny their compliments
They don't understand
But how can they
When I don't myself

After I've been hated
Beaten
Abused for so long
How can I expect to be loved

The mental scars remain
From what my classmates did
What they still do
To bring down my spirits

So when given a compliment
I may smile
Say thank you
Or make an awkward gesture

But the thought that you took time
To say anything
Keeps my candle burning, continuing my life
To give more gifts to others

So to those who say thank you
Just two small words
Just know that the phrase itself
Makes me want to live more than anything

she came
when seeds were not yet sown
the sky had not ****** the river
clouds were far away from rain.

she came
when heart was mere flesh
eyes had not known rainbow
and mind was just a wayward place.

she came
when door was only wooden frame
autumn was blooming shy veiled
romance was yet to wear a name.

she returned
there was darkness gathering

love is she forever searching.