How is it that the body can be so sure of what to do
When the mind is clueless?
The blood in my veins returns to my heart,
I kiss you automatically,
Yet I am still so unsure.

I've never been one for clear cut precision,
In the making of decisions,
And now, more than ever, I doubt myself.

They tell me I'm not making sense,
That my thoughts are muddled,
That I am not making sensible decisions.
But, was it not those same sensible decisions
That have led me to where I now am?

I tell you assuredly, it was.

Though my mind is muddled,
My heart keeps pumping,
It is truly a wonder of engineering,
Effective machinery
With no use of an operator.

I will sit here for hours
Willing it to stop,
And it will pay me no heed.

For all of the things I know,
there are billions I don't.
So when I say I don't know,
whether I want to be with you,
always know,
the indecisiveness is deafening.

The one person I want
                                           to talk to most is
the person I need
                                           to stay away from.
And how can I decide between
the one who
                                takes my breath away
and the one who
                                makes it so I can breathe?

i thought of you
when i was trying to pour
fertilizer into that
little red cranker
that we leave by the gate
& i spilled half of it
onto the ground.

the only reason i know
is because one time,
my best friend
who is also your best friend
(we do have a lot
in common)
went to a concert with me
& asked to be dropped off at
your house.
your big, nice,
well-landscaped house.

when your best friend
started liking me,
& i liked him back,
i went to his house all the time
his small,
untidy,
noisy,
uncomfortable house.

now i feel myself thinking about you
when i'm spending too many seconds
fertilizing my small lawn
in front of my own
cozy, familiar, warm
but suddenly empty
house

& i find myself wishing
i could stand in front of our house
hand-in-hand
with you