She was once a tough, hard headed woman

Threw her heart away a long time ago, so no man could play with it

She was through with the endless love game that broke her into pieces

That made her the way she is now –a cold, heartless *****.



Until she met him and got lost in his eyes in a blink of an eye

Made her look like a fool who tried her best for him

Afraid that he would go away and she would devastate

Like a dog lost its bark



He could blame all his life on her,

He could play with her heart,

Still she would forgive him and embrace him

In hope that he would care even just a bit



She destroyed the walls that she built

Just to feel loved again

Even though she knew the chance is as thin as a piece of paper

Still, she kept her hopes high



And when he told her those sweet words,

sugar coated ******* came out from his mouth

She fooled her mind, pretended that all of those are true

Even though she knew that his words are made of lies



Deep inside, she knew that she wasn’t really there

She wasn’t really in his heart

She was just smoke from his cigarettes

That slowly disappear –and he wouldn’t care if she does anyway

She needs him

And she wants him, a lot

But needing someone is neither beautiful nor romantic

It’s ******* painful

But she embraces the pain



He knows how to paint a smile on her face

Make her laugh until her stomach hurts



But what he doesn’t know is

Sometimes his words carves the pain in her chest

His silence digs a hole in her heart

And she cries her heart out at night

Whilst blaming herself

For all the mess that happened between them



She tells herself that the next day

The sun will come up

And she will eat her breakfast

And she will drink her coffee



Sadly, things sometimes don’t go as planned



She wakes up the next morning,

Again, tears rolls down her cheeks

She hates herself for being weak

She hates herself for being not good enough

She is tired of doubting whether people are coming or going

Still, she is hoping that he would stay

She would rather be hurt by him than be loved by anyone else



She keeps telling herself that she’s okay

Whilst her heart bleed continuously

She knows that she was doping herself a ****-full of lies

Yet she chooses to drown and bleed without him knowing it



She doesn’t know how to love herself

but she really does love him wholeheartedly and blindly



And even if it hurts, she would do it all again in a heart beat

A girl stared at her own figure in the mirror. Her pale face showed no smile, no expression. Her weary eyes looked empty. She felt so heavy yet so **** empty. A man stood behind her, running his fingers through her long hair whilst staring blankly at the girl. She then turned her head towards the man, looking deeply at his glazed eyes. He placed his palm on the girl’s cheek, gently caressing it with his thumb whilst his eyes locked to hers. They were drowning in her own thoughts, their own feelings.

After a long moment of silence, words finally came out from the man’s mouth.
“You ready?” he asked. The girl nodded.

She turned the music up as he turned the lights down low. They slowly reached the bed, and once again, looked at each other’s eyes. They felt their hearts beat faster than ever, but they remained calm. They were nervous, but they knew that this was what they wanted for so long. They knew they were both ready for this.

As their long, silvery, sharp knives stabbed on each other’s chest, they dragged their souls into oblivion, slowly released themselves from the mortal world. Before the girl completely disappeared, she caught a glimpse of the man’s eyes. The man then leaned down toward her face, looking at her eyes deeply. She smiled as she whispered, “welcome to my circo de muerte.“

*They’re now gone.

Darling,
I have been thinking.
Lately, I think I am starting
To forget how to pour my feeling
Into words

I used to write about my sorrow
About the broken vow
That I used to swallow
I used to feel hollow
I was so low
I was afraid to face tomorrow

Until you came up here,
Trying to take all the fear
And I thank you for this, my dear

I do realise that
I never write you poems anymore
Maybe because I am not one
to speak with poetry
or maybe I am just too busy
to think what words to write

I’m busy looking at the brightest eyes I have ever seen—your eyes
I’m busy listening to my favourite sound—your voice
I’m busy burying my face in your chest,
Just to smell my favourite scent—your scent.
I’m busy drowning in our sweet, passionate kiss

I couldn’t write you poems,
I can only feel,
I feel my heart beating,
And it is beating for you.