Kevin Eli

Kevin Eli Dec 2012

I just realized today that I have never been in a healthy relationship with anybody in my life.
Not friends, nor family, nor lovers.
I am a liar.
I am a frightened Child.
I am a broken, sick individual
More than just a foot in the grave,
A living, hollow, death.
My own slave.

I can change that right now, Today.
Grasp the moment,
Love Myself.
Intensely.

Close my eyes,
Find the inner flame,
Concentrate the pain,
Put it in a box for God to cast out of the fray,
Into the river of time,
And let it all wash away...

Push it away.
Gently, let it flow down stream
To be consumed by the waves
In the great ocean

It is the only way I can be saved.
I must and will take it minute by minute, until I can shake off my unnatural ways.

Kevin Eli Dec 2012

Pins and Needles

Spreading as a warmth, inside from out.
Snuffing the wick of the candle, I exhale and Ignore the doubt.
Wandering, wondering where the world went,
The stars in the sky fell down again and again.

Then again....

Where was I when I was gone?
How many times have the dogs within me have me pet them then rip me apart?
I'm tired of crying, and begging, lying and crawling in the dark,
Never knowing what is too near or too far.

Then again, I hope I never do it again.

I'll look for God, the God in myself, and remember what it means,
To be a man once again.

Never again.

Kevin Eli Sep 2012

L & L

Ten years ago,
I never felt so low.
The hours they come and go, come and go
But the minutes; they move by so fast, their faces they will never show

And I know.
You've got my heart and soul.
My love for you will never grow old.
But there's just one thing more I asks for.
But it's too much, and I know it.
It's just too much,

To ask

To be loved. I want to be loved by you.

To live with
To dream with
To grow old with
And die with
But the best part
Was trying
To be who
I can't be
The best of you
The worst of me
The love I find inside my enemy

Oh, to be loved. I want to be loved by you.

To live with
To dream with
To grow old with
And die with
To lie with
I'm tryin'
To find out
The best part
Was not now
But at the start
So when I leave
Please gently find
That how much I loved you,
Won't fade in time.

To be loved
I want to be loved by you.

A song. I wrote this about a girl I fell in love with. Her name was Lacey. We were together for years. I've never loved the drug, but I loved her enough to do it with her.

Kevin Eli Sep 2012

To Live Or Die

I step through
Giving way to
Those that break me
Take me
Give me what I need
To suffer in serenity.
Break my being in two.

Creeping over me,
Melting off the mold which hides
Fires burn
Yet stop the movement inside.

Don't give into the hate of the free
It's free of the hate in you and me.

Still like a light,
Sun, skin, the blood inside of me
Gives me consideration
into what my past and tense will be.
That feeling comes over me again.
Like a cover over my eyes
Once again blinding what I see.

Save me.

Kevin Eli Sep 2012

The Blood of Jerusalem

Playgrounds that double as bomb shelters.
Words of hate painted on a missile.
Freedom and peace doesn't exist when your neighbor wants to **** you...

Happiness and sadness, survival feels like madness.
The bus stop burns as you go to work and pass it.
Schools turned into a pool of blood, piled **** and rubble.
Whoever calls this the Holy Land is full of ******* and troubled.

The tears and the pain make us numb.
Begging for that bullet in the head, so it would be over and done.
There is nowhere to run, even though we are scared
Can this ever end? If we all only cared.

Freedom or fear.
FIGHT.

Fight for your life,
Hope that the children fight for all human rights.
A future without war, without bodies or burned shores.
Asking to give their lives, for a world without horror, guns and mortars.
A land without borders, prisons, our hate and our horrors.

For Love,
Eternal and forever, each day can be born.
Pray for Jerusalem,
So we can all go home.

Palestinian or Israeli, Christian, Jewish or Muslim; we all have the same right to be loved and pursue happiness.

Kevin Eli Aug 2012

Today

Head in hands held like a crown
Living it up to stay down
Pray for me and I'll pray for you
Just give me the words before you do
This addiction you gave me, I gave to you
Just like we knew we were going to do
It's such a feeling I can't explain
Though the feelings show in my face and veins
Veins

So hard to live in this world today
Nothing's fine and nothing's okay
We live our lives in turns by day
Praying for my today to be tomorrow's dreams today
Tomorrows' dreams today

Oh,
Tomorrow's dreams today
So hard to stay
So I take the life I live and fight
The strength, the soul, the will and might
The pain inside, the tears I cry
The faith inside to see the light
And know that I can dream up my own dreams
As long as I can slip away...
To have tomorrow's dreams today

Kevin Eli Aug 2012

****** For Your Masses

Bow before his majesty
Give your soul and innocence to his divinity
Make your offering, practice your sacrifice
Hope for infinity
You were lied to,
The warmth is ice.

Trade your time for a place
To an entity without a face,
Remember...
Never throw your freedom to their greed and disgrace.

**** yourself, **** your neighbor
Don't give a **** about your loves and labor.

Kept in your heart, the hate you harbor
Will never get you farther,
Than the shoes of our fathers
Release your demons
Roll back your eyes
Crack slow a stoic smile
You will never fit in those shoes,
For they span for miles.

Remember,
God has no soul or soles,
He's just lying in the bathroom, crying,
half conscious on the tile...

#god #father #demons #soul #******