even if it hurts me
i can grow numb
but i have to live
and wait forever

the pain
isn't worse
than the shame
you make me feel
just when you mock me
just when you block me

just know
i also hate myself for hurting you
just know
i also hate myself
for being so short,
for always going back and forth

what if he's in his own world?
what if there's another girl?
what if he abandoned ship?
there's nothing else that exist

and the pain
just might make me die;
but at least i tried
cried, and cired, and cried
just to end up here
feeling no more tears
after all these years
i still love you
like i did before
there is trust no more

i have confidence that you hate me
for all the awful things i be
and even if you hurt me worse,
i still blame myself first

oh, i
would stay here forever until i die
won't ever get no therapy, won't even try
i'll just watch the screen as time goes by
i'll love never another man like you
never abandon you
never let go of you

never love another man like you

You never wrote back, but I read every line—

In letters I dreamed up and signed in your sign.

They came in the wind or the drip of the sink,

In shadows that pause just a moment to think.

I fed on illusions, I watered my pain,

I swore that your absence would soon explain.

But days turn to years, and still I believe,

That ghosts only vanish when we stop to grieve.


---nyn

Take this life away from me
I don’t want it anymore
The pain is just too much to bear
It runs into my core
Emotional and real
Why does no one listen
When I tell them how I feel
My life is pain and anguish
Physical and not
I’m waiting slowly dying
For the final breath to leave me
For the end of all my suffering

Fleetingly, I hear the wail of the screams,
Breathing in the toxic nightmare of dreams,
What is up by logic can be down,
Innocence of Cinderella in pretty gown.
The one who returns her slippers,
is after only one thing instead
That isn't what the story had said.