Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 15h McKenna
chang
it's an awfully bright afternoon
to be this sad.
if i try to take the smallest of breaths,
maybe the  world would forget about me - again.
if i tried a bit harder,
maybe i'll forget too.
Every day feels like I'm drowning in my thoughts.
I cannot run from it.
Nightmare becomes a scream, but rain is not an option.

I tried to become a star
It shines, but it is filled with lies.
Every clap sounds like a clown.
Cry me a river, I swear I'd drown myself.
And I wished I hadn't taught her to close off
Because now when I most needed to know what she felt
Her face was an empty canvas her eyes hollow
A hardened soldier
Do you understand me I ask
She nods
That's all
Not a flicker of emotion crossed her face
My heart never sank so fast
Happiness.
Is just a
Delerium.
I feel as it washes over me.
When I'm too high on.
Magic mushrooms.
Or acid.
I woke up in right now.
When I was really back there.
Apprehensive and afraid.
My cold sweat.
Chilling

Sleeping past the morning
Nervous that nothing will pan out.
As it does in my head.

But I don't think it happened before

Back when my mantra was
Never did nothin.
Never was gonna be anything magnificent.
Never tried enough to be great.
Not even mediocre.

All I ever got
Was a failed
Life.
I am going to hide within myself,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
seem­s I can't trust anyone else                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                           
  Betrayed by those closest to me,                                                            
 ­                                                                 ­                                                  
why is this even happening?                                                       ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                    
  I'm no longer able to afford trust,                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                  
when do I say enough is enough!                                                          ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
  Life shouldn't be this hard,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­           
it's time I chest all my cards                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I guess what they say is true,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  the only true best friend is you
Oh, the oldest sibling.
Be it your brother.
Be it your sister.
Somewhere in your life you'll be reminded of your parents.
Whether it was your mother.
Or simply your father.

When they speak.
Instantly by the things they say.
You know, who they got them from?

When they tries to be disciplinaries of the rules.
This is when they truly begins to bug you.
That they mostly must put up a defense for a fight.
Or hear they not mom or dad.
And they better lay out with the hands.

Oh, the oldest sibling.
They had a task of responsibilities to hold up.
All young ones know they was the symbol of being the role model.

Used to point out to the young ones.
Wasn't offer to much room to get into trouble.
But when you older.
You soon becomes to love them.

Yes, the oldest.
Who reminds you of so many others?
Who many of times was more responsible?
Oh, the oldest sibling.
Be it your brother.
Be it your sister.
Somewhere in your life you'll be reminded of your parents.
Whether it was your mother.
Or simply your father.

When they speak.
Instantly by the things they say.
You know, who they got them from?

When they tries to be disciplinaries of the rules.
This is when they truly begins to bug you.
That they mostly must put up a defense for a fight.
Or hear they not mom or dad.
And they better lay out with the hands.

Oh, the oldest sibling.
They had a task of responsibilities to hold up.
All young ones know they was the symbol of being the role model.

Used to point out to the young ones.
Wasn't offer to much room to get into trouble.
But when you older.
You soon becomes to love them.

Yes, the oldest.
Who reminds you of so many others?
Who many of times was more responsible?
Nice try, you can't hurt me
With a single blow, once or twice
I've done that, experienced that
A couple of hundred times
I ain't coming from the wake & bake family
I need no cannabis to smoke,
I breathe the smoke they puff in
I breathe it in like an air freshener
I breathe it out like a toxic waste
You know me don't you?
Only by my name, not the real me.
even if it hurts me
i can grow numb
but i have to live
and wait forever

the pain
isn't worse
than the shame
you make me feel
just when you mock me
just when you block me

just know
i also hate myself for hurting you
just know
i also hate myself
for being so short,
for always going back and forth

what if he's in his own world?
what if there's another girl?
what if he abandoned ship?
there's nothing else that exist

and the pain
just might make me die;
but at least i tried
cried, and cired, and cried
just to end up here
feeling no more tears
after all these years
i still love you
like i did before
there is trust no more

i have confidence that you hate me
for all the awful things i be
and even if you hurt me worse,
i still blame myself first

oh, i
would stay here forever until i die
won't ever get no therapy, won't even try
i'll just watch the screen as time goes by
i'll love never another man like you
never abandon you
never let go of you

never love another man like you
Next page