Slow down put your feet on the ground
Before you take the next step
Look twice before you step on the ice
You never know when you might slip
Listen close to the ones who know
You might hear some good advice
Let go of your self control
You never know it might even be nice
May be nice   May be nice   May be nice

It may be nice to forget all your worries
To just slow down and not be in a hurry
To have some fun and enjoy your life
So listen close to my advice
Slow down  slow down  slow down
Before you're six feet underground

So deep better look before you leap
Never know where you might land
Back slide though you say that you tried
You couldn't find a place to stand
Rocky ground that's where you're bound
Though not exactly what you had planned
Long roads and extra heavy loads
Seems to be your lives demands

Hold tight with all your might
To all the things you don't need
You will set yourself for the ****
If that's what it takes to succeed
Cut deep but blood isn't cheap
So you sit and watch yourself bleed
Don't care cause you're going nowhere
And you only want to be freed

It may be nice to forget all your worries
To just....slow down...
And not be in a hurry

SO faaaar
The distance
Between
does...not..
..seem to exist !

I lost you in the Darkness
The light - blinded my eyes
I find you left me stranded
I find it's no surprise
I hear you're out there teasing
Whispering out my name
But you're not going to get me started
I'm not going to play your game

I'm going to keep on searching searching
Until you follow me
I'm gonna keep on searching searching searching until I find the key

I heard you come a crawling
Slipping across the floor
Saying  sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry
Forgive me I'll never do it no more
But I know you heard the jingle
Of the key I finally found
So you knew that I was out of here
So now you want me to stick around

Lost me in the Darkness
But you lost yourself  along the way
When you found out there are rules
Even to the games you like to play

This game will have no winners
Only losers when it's all said and done
Next time... Maybe you should remember
When you are playing with someones feelings
Its not always so much fun.

My eyes seem to reluctantly open
To an emptiness beside me in bed
Too long she's been gone... As are those smiles we shared
As happily we greeted each dawn

In two lonely days it's the 14th
Valentine's Day on my mind
As I seek in silver tinged memries
For a smile that I now can't seem to find

I know that she'd smile as she scolded
With those emerald green eyes
I've known so well
That never seemed to lose their power
To pull me in and under their spell

Suddenly I hear in my head ... her voice starts speaking
Those words it's not hard to imagine her say
Come on lazy bones get out of that bed
Or you can make it up and I'll make the coffee instead

Then just as if she were actually here
My feet hit the floor as I raced out the door
In order to make it perfectly clear
To push the on switch like the thousands of times... That    I've  
    done      before

Then retracing my steps as a
grimacing smile pulls at my lips
I fluff and I squeeze pillows and spread covers with care
Happily doing what she could never get me to do
In my mind I happily find it's something that we now share

These last 30 days my mind seems to glaze
With all the empty space I must now fill
Along with the loneliness I have to endure
Can't get used to it and never will

So I set myself down at the table
Sugar to sweeten my coffee and more than just a dollop of cream
I need something to help me find pleasure
Even then I could hear her talking to me... as if I were having a dream

Is that what you've been doing here while I've been gone
Slowly I spun my head to look behind me
There she stood  with her suitcase in hand
We finished the project early -  and I really needed to be home she said
But I couldn't stop sitting there staring in wonder
Besides she said as she cradled my head
I couldn't stand the idea of  us spending Valentine's Day alone
But my mind was gone... empty of thought
Flung into the High Heavens... not even missed
From the moment she leaned over  reconnecting our hearts... as we kissed.

I missed you ...so much we said !

As catidids and blue bottle flies hum a tune
In the absolute silver silence
Of a sweltering hot summer afternoon
When shimmering illusions of cool water
Invitingly rests beneath each crest
As air conditioned autos
Commit wholesale slaughter
Any hapless and reckless choir member
Who  wanders into the destiny prescribed
For such ilk who will
Sooner or later
Become morbid decorative trophies of a radiator
Still the silver silence
Echos with the ever present song
Of the singer's who dwell beneath the trees
Awaiting the respite of late evening shadows
When all creatures welcome the cool of night
But nighthawks and bats also wait
As they
like us all
Become drawn into the light.
So amazing that the song will grow
To the intensity I sit and listen to
In the.starlit show of a summer night.

I love the way
her hair creates
a mysterious land
of shadowy depth
As it falls across
  the outside
corner of her eye
As that accentuates
those cool pools
glistening eyes of mordant green
Inviting the overheated
The physically depleted .
A respite  an oasis
Right at the entry
Of that shadowy mystery
Like a fairytale forest
I want to get lost in that woodland
haunting beauty and waiting mystery ,
but alas  i dare not trespass
Time may find a chance perhaps
For now i slip silent into the cool
Of the eyes so green where i can float
Where i may swim or Then again
I could just dive deep
never to resurface
and still...live a hundred lifetimes
In the beauty of her face... .your face!

Pausing in the doorway
Of my new life to be
Trying my best to recognize
Anything familiar that I see

But a landscape so unfamiliar
Stares back at my form
As if to echo what I already knew
That I... like it... was way out of the norm

As the twilight encompassed
All the picturesque hues
I knew that I was delinquent
In my obscurant obfuscated dues

A voice from my inner sanctum
Kept pounding out the same refrain
Yet no clear thoughts escaped the misty harbor
As a fog of contention muffled sounds like lights on a country lane

Still in this doorway I find myself
No movement or direction has yet occured
For change is not easy to accept ...even
If all but the acceptance has already occurred

So the last vestige of immortality
Sometimes rests on that single second of time
That is suspended in some evolutionary respite
When space  intrusively obscures pushing in from behind

When all I am asking ...
... Is a moment to pause
Making allowance...
... Of what is now being entwined

We all try to live
Our lives
In these...... fragile
Insulated bubbles
That we hope will
keep in ...all our
sacred secrets
And keep out
All the troubles

But I just do not
Understand
How we've gotten so
Bogged down
Fog bound
That we
Just  keep goin
Round and round
Round and round

These same old circles
Over and over
The same old ground
Getting in
Deeper and deeper
And a little bit deeper

Deep deep
Deep  deep
Deep deep
Deeper as we try
The best we can
To pretend
Not to notice
NOT TO CARE,!!
GOOD GOD MUD CHUCKER !!
Are you such a stupid sucker
That you would rather
Let the world die
As you continue to
Lie the lie that you deny
That you were sold

Even now you hang on to
What you got hung up on
Getting in deeper and deeper
At every turn
The air is thin
Yet deeper and deeper
With every turn
Safely ensconced
In the fragility
Of that insulated bubble

So tell me ...WHY
That man with a shovel
Is wiping away who we were
      Where we've been
Covering up all our knowledge
And the deep hole
That you deny  we're in.

I wasn't down in the bottom
Nor was I up somewhere High
I feel no need to race the wind
Or spit into the eye

I have no driving hunger
Nor am I starving for results
I'm no more moved by accolades
Than I am by any vile insults

l could leave right this moment
With no need to even look back
No more purpose or Direction
than a windblown empty paper sack

If I had any emotional connection to anything anywhere or at any time
The line which held that feeble pull
Has now released me from all ties that bind

The shadow that I have often followed
Or was aware of  in my wake
Doesn't seem to be as intrinsically connected
As the power wane's and lights dim accentuating every ache

So that in turn what might once concern
And set on edge some Keen insight
To push the ink through an all consuming link
Driving that need to succeed by saying it just right

Has just become some Tangled mess
Endless threads and those ancient dreads
For if nothing changes the course or flow
Then that sack in directionalless  flight is right in caring not why or when how or where it heads

Who cares if all those words ended up simply scattered
And you are a hollowed-out core nothing more
Defeated and depleted by the knowledge that nothing mattered
If words are heard and only those understood the others we ignore

You know what I mean
understand where I'm coming
from
And you say wow man I can relate
Then tell me my friend
before I end
what's the difference in a morsel
and a crumb

If they all taste the same then they are mundane

There was a  time
a few hundred years ago when there was a  story
that most people don't know about the time of Shakespeare
and the theater in the round how they found a way
to make more money
than what was legally bound by means of a childs game tmusical chairs of sorts  
before the game existed
all for profit
all for the people
I'm sure they insisted
no it was not for the people it was a calculated game
of how to blame
others
for failing to receive
their rightful due  
and that's why
the shysters of the day
would sell rich people
one seat
one comfortable place
to watch the show
without any problem
and the poor people
in the cheap seats
they would sell
hundreds more
than were available
why .....?
...why of course its the game of musical chairs
so to speak t
They realized there would be fights  breaking out
with yells and screams
and horrid shouts
that would bring the cops
The  order takers
Order  keepers
to all those fighting
dragging those on the ground away
and then it would be
seats  for all
and more profit
for the ones who did
the deed
of selling the seats  
in planting the seeds
of discontent.
Today there are politician
who choose
to play this game
just the same
as then
as they seek
to overcrowd the poor
  not with cheap seats
but the places
in whicht we live
the inner cities
All iin the same Hope
that the show is for the rich
and the rich will enjoy
all thats there
Prosperity
enough ...hopefully
to pass out the tips
The Leftovers
the bestowed
no one's going to listen
to the poor
the disenchanted
he angry ones
who paid dearly for nothing who got everything
they deserved
according to the ones
who served
those who they believed were worthy people
were the ones ...
....who had power
the  ones who could help them
never realizeing
that they too
were sitting in the cheap seats
you  do ...you get what you pay for
and  you will  pay what you got.
Adam was just dust until he was formed and only by the Breath of life did he become a living soul.

All the blood was gone
As I had stood here ..knees locked
For no telling how long..
... About 40 years since  I had walked
Through the blanket on the doorway hung
That turned out to be a time machine portal
And here I thought it was just to help hold in heat
Silly me . RECOGNIZE . GOD  just touched a mortal
Just before entering here I was asking myself why
Why why why to a question I knew I hadn't a clue
AND NEVER WOULD! . So..why did I keep asking .?
I even knew That I knew
As I rushed down the hall and up the stairs
Across the landing and down the long cold hall
The redundancy of "WHY DID YOU DO THAT..WHY?"
All the way to that blanket and then into the warmth
As I stepped in and all the way back ....40 years.

I wasn't aware until suddenly I was standing there
Knowing I just got back but unaware that I had been gone
And in surrealistic repose was my half closed flip phone
Draped over my open left palm like a sea sick sailor
On unsteady legs asleep below the knees
I managed the  two steps distance -to my easy chair
Where I found the right levers to slowly ease
My cold, stiff and diminished mortal core
Down to where I might be able to gather myself
That was scattered all about
But first I had to close the flip phone
       That I had opened back in early September 1974

The television was playing right in front of me
But I never heard nor did I see
The fireplace was waining ----it's heat replaced by cold
I dragged a blanket over myself which I didn't even unfold
The day that existed outside the window
Scurried off
Stealing away with the light
As if it were checking to see if I'd even notice
How quickly the hands of the clock
Had painted in the night
I never even noticed --really .. I wasn't even there

I was sitting in my car in the grocery store parking lot
Watching strangers roll by as they cruised the strip
In a small town where I now lived for maybe two weeks
I was 17 a  longhaired city boy but if I was on anyones radar
     So far.... I hadn't made a single blip
One night as I sat  there
  A faded camaro
That had to be the ugliest green I ever seen
Rolled in to park behind my car
Quickly flanked by two more -
One at each door
I could see them in the mirror
I could hear the raucous laughter
This was what I had been sitting here for
What was missing that I was after
But .... I was as shy as I could be back then
Not the kind who could get out and just push right in
And then ......serendipity walked in
A cop car rolled past on the strip
And the wildhaired guy in the camaro just let it rip
Beep beep BEEEEEEEEEEP BEBEBEBEBEEEEP
WENT his horn and the cop whirled to turn in
Lost in the shadow of the grocery store he parked
As he emerged from the shadows I saw 5 ft 8 250 lbs.
And believe me now as  I give you my word
He demanded to know who was honking
Standing there 15 ft away
"I was piggy " yelled the guy in the camaro
I could not believe what I just heard ........or what I heard next
" Well cut it out Don" and into the shadow he disappeared
Then the camaro said "Beep!"
O. M. G   this guys going to jail.
The cop and him argued
The other guys split
I got out to watch from the trunk where I decided to sit
Before he went to the cop car
Cigarette in his lips
Encased in the most amazing grin he asked me
"Hey man ...you got a match?"
I didn't and said I was sorry and they disappeared in shadow
Oh well I thought as I sat watching them get in the car
Illumination of dashlights allowed a set of silhouettes
And I could tell --what the hell-
He was actually lighting up with the dash lighter
Then  he replaced it and in straightening back up
He dragged his fingers across every switch he could manage
And the shadows came alive
With flashing lights, bells and whistles
The cop went spastic shutting it down --2 minutes went by
Then the door opened and out stepped the guy
The car drove away as the wildhaired maniac
Walked over to me fiollowing the lit cigarette and that crazy grin
"That was pretty funny wasn't it dude?"  I probably agreed
That grin was infectious as we talked a bit  
I'm keith _ I'm Don
Then he said "Hey !  You got a joint"
"No I don't "I had to reluctantly admit" And the grin sorta drooped
"But I think I know where we can get one"
From that point on and forever no matter how far apart we were
This guy Don became my best and  truly thick and thin friend
In that 4 month span
I met another person in that town who changed my life
His name was Tom and he was 82 yr old and totally blind
In fact he had gotten his eyes kicked out by a mule at 17
He wore no dark glasses just open holes in his head  
But he was so cool that I just didn't mind
He would drop into the upholstery shop owned by my older brother
And tell whopping tales of one kind or another
About hunting alone and bringing back game
Roofing his house at night because it was cooler
Able to tell color by just a touch but I didn't ever mind
I came to love the spirit that dwelled in that old man
My brother built him a loom in the back to Tom specifications
And he wove shawls on it from skeins of different colored yarn
Then other towns people dropping in would see old Tom
And tell the same stories he told and it wasn't long
For my sister -in- law, my brother and especially me
TO REALIZE
That any doubts we had about him
were absolutely wrong
THEN
He walked in and ran his hand over a large red velvet couch
Saying oh ain't that a pretty red I stayed silent my brother said
" Now Tom . you've heard us talking about this couch color"
Not mad but in a weary kinda way Tom said " No! I can tell"
So I had to know ...had to . I got two velvet scraps 1gold 1aqua
Here what color as he took the gold -quick feel "thats yeller
   What the......!
Before handing him the aqua I detemined I would lie whatever
He took the piece ..felt for a few seconds and hesitantly said blue
"Nope" I said but !....then Tom felt some more and more and said
"    weeeeeeel its green " his hesitancy and 2 color choices had me freaked
But I said "nope"  and that old man
Right then ....changed my life
From that second to now he effects every fiber of my being
He threw his open holed  black orbless socket to within an inch
  An inch of mine--- square on -- so quick I was stunned
..........An absolute quote here.........
  " WELL its blue green then durn it"  for me this was an epiphony
Don't doubt people so quick  Don't let anything stop you from believing  it can be possible  Always accept that it can be amazing And try to pass this hope on
So I've always tried
    The crazy guy in the ugly green camaro became my friend
We became collaborators with his amazing ear and guitar skills
Over the years he had many vehicles almost always ugly green
So That morning of December 23rd  2012
A bitter wind blowing from the north at about 25 mph and 10 ° f
I Went from the little room I was hibernating in
The only heated room in the old house
It was upstairs facing the dirt road
I had hung a string of Christmas lights inside that north facing view
In hopes of cheering me up after a REALLY bad year of loss
Divorce, bitter battle and more trouble and pain than I like to recall
So when I got up and went out that blanket hung to keep in heat
Took the dogs down the long cold hall down the cold stairwell
And all the way to the mud room wishing I had gotten dressed
I was in flimsy pajamas and floppy houseshoes
At least grabbed a jacket especially once I opened the door
I started out before I felt that wind so I let the dogs have it
I would wait inside the door and as I stood there I saw a bag
A white garbage bag with a bit of green wreath sticking out
I had had it for years never hung it
Probably saw it every time I  entered
So thats where the unanswerable question started
I do not know why
I dug up a hammer a few nails went out the door
I don't know why
Walked a hundred feet out to a field
Got my freezing ice - coated aluminium extension ladder
And carried it back to the house
I DONT KNOW WHY
I don't know why I didn't give up when it took so long
To get the dam thing to separate
Or when ...
I smashed my frozen fingers in the process
But I climbed 14 feet in the air on that north wall
I drove a nail above the window
And I hung that
Red holly berry  adorned
Green plastic wreath
Climbed down and took the ladder back  (really)
And then me and the dogs headed up to the warmth
With me asking maybe even out loud " why why why why"
All the way into the room  
And as I passed through the curtain
At 10:00 That Sunday morning  I saw the flip phone flashing
I had missed a call from Don  gonna wish me an early
Merry Christmas
So I'm sure I was smiling as I hit redial
It was his girlfriend Tammy
Hey Tammy how are you
She said "Don just died in the hospital 5 minutes ago"

The room was cold as the late shadows of a winter day
Were muting the view through the window
As I closed up the flip phone on 1974
And managed to sit down  

Late that night as I still sat there
I had a fire going now
I had managed to eat
And I was thinking of past times
The time he drove down to Texas to get married
He came back and I asked  How you like Texas
And he replied "it ****** man . I can't drive down there"
Why ?
"Cause man they got stop lights running sideways
- not up and down so I couldn't tell what to do.

Then I knew without a single doubt
WHY ?
And I did get an answer to the question after all
And just like the old man Tom and the red and green
Because any doubt I've ever had Ever Ever Ever had
About God and heaven or any version of something more...?
Evaporated forever
Don drove ugly green cars because he was colorblind
He couldn't see red and green in the "normal"sense
And that green he said was the PRETTIEST RED HE EVER SEEN"
So on his way by he stopped in with that stupid infectuos grin
And shielded me from the wind
While that sum b made me hang that dang wreath
And changed my life one more time.
      
       I love you dude and you too Tom  (Hey Tom .   is this what you imagined I looked like?)

Sometimes.....
.......If we're lucky
Life will provide the opportunity
For us to reach down inside ourselves
And then
root around with impunity
Where we may find... a morsel
A grain really...  pull it out
Hold it up and say... Here it is
When in reality
We never even knew
About this thing
We somehow feel that we had lost
So familiar is the very thought of its existence
That's some primal gut-wrenching pain
Would rise up and devour our soul
Should we admit we lacked
Any knowledge of its presence

That is what the writer of a novel
Just did to me as I read
Pulling me into ecstatic Majesty
Of poetic prose
Taking me places where I've never trod

Tearing me into tiny fragments
And then endeavoring to reassemble me
Into something else entirely
As if it were LSD
And I was actually tripping
On the intricacies of the writer's mind

Only 20 pages into this delicacy
Devouring it like it was my last meal
Savoring it
As if nothing else would ever compare

For this recipe
This special taste and feel
Special mix of spices
Never to repeat
Yet that feeling exists
That somewhere long ago
I've had this before
Down deep in those recesses
Like some dish once created
Never written down
Then searched for
Forever and Forever
Till you know it's never to be found

So maybe it wasn't the recipe we seek
But the memories along with
What is lost
Crystallized to a whole package
Somehow into the back of that drawer it was tossed
Where those miscellaneous elements exist
Never needed- never seen- never missed
Until one day...
.. We pushed aside the cobwebs
And we wipe away the dust
Then we say... "Hey look at this !"

That is what the words I just read
Did to the me
That does not- now exist
Just 20 pages of over 400
As I endeavor... To savor
A small morsel... a few pieces
Everyday
Knowing of course
That it may be my last meal
So I have to Make It Last Forever
Nothing else will ever satisfy
This craving that already exists
This delicacy
As the memory of it
Forever will be missed
Forever... Will be missed

Just what makes us think
perfection ...
is something we should strive for
some sort of goal
something we need
to make us whole
something that we're missing...
thats beyond our control
what makes us think there is such a thing
Or that we deserve it.

I don't know
if any of that is so
or if I ever had the chance
to ever really know
because I have not had
a life ...
for me to live

I had one for someone else
to control ....so...
I guess you could say
that I was out of control
but I wasn't perfect
never thought I was
I just had to counterbalance
in such a way ..as to stay
somewhere near the center

So feeling  that way
Created in me
a need to succeed
I had to seek perfection
in everything I've done
or I would have quit.. the game
long long ago
and that again
would have been out of my control

What makes a driven ego
Be
by trying to survive
for

creating a need
when someone else
has put on the brakes
trying to make sure that
you never
arrive ...
...at any destination ...
anytime or any place
It didn't matter
where when why or what      
how arriving there
without their God in my pocket
Could somehow be
some sort of disgrace..is
Idk because once again
That should not have been...

...Out of my control

now I'm left sadly empty
trying hard not to fill back up
with remorse anger or regrets
because if I was a mess before
and didn't know it
to do all that
would be the end
of all antes and all bets
as this game has no Bluffs
or any winners
it.... sure.... like....
seems that way to me
in or out
that's all it's about

just how far down there
Will they allow themselves to go
When there is no other teams

ldk...I walked away
long long ago
Without knowing
where I was bound
but what I didnt know
was just how hard
they had a hold
trying always and forever
To do anything they could
in dragging me down

so I'm glad that I was
always able
to keep me at least close
to the Center.... of Perfection
or as close as one may reach
in order to be able
finding something
to strive for
So  Im  aware that
somehow I was given
exactly what I needed
to keep me on..... going on
Finding a reason for livin

because  although there is no
such thing as perfection ...except maybe
as a check on ... a reason for
a counter- balance
When a life is
  predetermined
  to be filled with nothing...
.. but rejection
from those who were
suppossed to  help you
find direction .....
....not to make sure that you get lost !!

This feeling of

For many people
the idea of changing their life
means turning the corner
to me right now
it's the idea of turning around
going back down the trail
of life created
things that are related
things not finished
clear the path
of. all half finshed
left undone.
examine any sad ones
to see
If there are any
really bad ones
I should be ashamed of
I hope not
but you never know
when you look at things from
a different perspective
if I could change anything about my life
right now
by the snap of a finger
it would be ...
...my lust for money
or love of money
for you see.....
... I've never had any
money
or Love of Money  
to some it may seem funny but all I've ever wanted
to do in life was create anyone who does relate
can understand
how something appearing from nothing
will bring your spirits higher than any drug ever could without the side effects
just good
yet there comes a time
when reality has to reach in have to sit yourself down
make yourself think
I've got to buckle down
I have no security
I had nothing to assure
that i won't become
a burden for someone else should something sad happen to me
not allow me to be
able to care for myself
that's a hard hard balancing wire
to be on with no desire
for any such thing
to ever happen ...but ..yeah

I have no answer
knowing only that
the question exists
all wrapped up now
within
this thought
with the hope that
someday
a time will come
that I can read it over
once again
to  realize
it made a difference...or ....
that it didn't.
and that my friends is.... my greatest fear and...
my greatest hope.

Why do I think
it's okay to lie to people
first of all I live in the real world
not a building with a cross and a steeple
be that as it may
I guess you could say
I lie to people only to avoid the truth
that may sound stupid
that may sound hubrusistic,
comatosly mystic,
patreonystic
anyway but how I see it ...as...
Yes...
.. I'm going to say it...
altruistic !

come with me if you will
to a place where truth lives and lies collide
like a frantic manic,
about to reach the high score and more
on a pinball game
just past that quarter slot
where deep inside
like echoing chamber
sounds
of  quarters hitting quarter
Reverberations
the Mockingjay sound
of flippers flapping
All just past the signpost
flashing... tilt
to the place called MyLieAtZone

Up to a point I tell only truths
like some cackling clown
bobbing up and down
in a sideshow booth
or maybe more apt
is the clown that sits
Upon the slat
Just above the water tank
goading you
into sling sling slinging
baseball after baseball
as each and every zing
He chooses to string
seems to ring
closer to the core of who... You... Are...
But as you never wish to be seen

The angrier you get
trying not
to just get him wet
but to drown the clown
the farther you miss!!!
the closer he is
to seeing how close he is ...to yours
and that is what gets you the most
how to the crowd around you
he begins to boast
then he stops reading you
begins leading you ...
...into the house of horrors
and to think
all he did is watch for you to lie
in order to deny
that you are or could be...
those things...
... you hope no one else may see

But you are... They are... The clown perched upon the slat ... People in church ... Synagogues... Libraries... And the guy at the local bar... Me... And you we all go through... The tunnel of horrors

And all I can say is....

So ...freaking ...what?

Why do I lie when a truth would be better?
I don't - I won't -
At least not when the truth
( As you say)  would be better
I lie to not be honest
I lie to not expose
personal details best left private
I find a lie , a flat tire , a traffic jam
much better than
to say I'm exhausted
near catatonic
From having an all-nighter an argument
with my significant other

OH BROTHER  come closer
and let me tell you of a sinner
yep an all-nighter
an argument
about how to end a fight
That's right

It's better to go with a flat tire
A traffic jam late babysitter
before I would tell the truth
and hope to feed the boss
a misadventure into
MyLieAtZone

sometimes you are the pinball
trying to keep moving
staying away from the drain

sometimes you are the wizard
Slapping the glass with flat palms
slapping the flappers
6 ***** bouncing off the walls
and just 10,000 points
From insane

So then ...
..I lie only when or actually spin
a truth
Like carnival flopping cotton candy
When..simply put
People will believe a lie
before they will believe...
or accept a truth !!

And so ...I leave this tale
as I cross the veil
To pass on through
MyLieAtZone
Beyond the signpost up ahead
that once read
TILT

To rejoint you with
the most truthful grift
I've heard in quite some time
I said to my good friend...
... just before his end !

"why do you drink so much ...is it to forget something ?
and he said "yes I do !
I drink to forget the reason that I drink!"

and I tell you the truth
To tell you the truth ...really tell you the truth
I thought about this that he said
for a long long time
then I got it !
I understood ...
...exactly what he said .
unfortunately it was one day

One day after he was dead !!

Yet I consider it a gift ...
From beyond the rift

Just ahead past that signpost
up ahead
The one that
No longer reads ...tilt

Just beyond a place I call ...
MyLieAtZone...

A few ways exist
Where green growth
can destroy what was
If large tree grows near
Cutting it down will ..
Definitely do what it does
But the shattering thump
When that plan is used is...
Ow! we ended up with trump
And a beautiful tree now dead
When we randomly destroy
There's no correcting a path
There's just all in ..no fold
Or with neglect what was
Can be insidiously done in
By the green growth of mold
But go ahead and lump all
Together left and right as 1
Not seeking any offshoots
Because the best method
To contol the destruction
Sit in shade , encourage growth guiding the offshoot
To become those mighty roots
That's how you save the tree ,stay cool , deny the insidious parasites growth
     And then .....you can
with strong roots and decent Foundation have a stable structure
     and ...
something to build on.

Or you can just burn it all down
letting Anarchy prevail

Maybe ... D democracies
should be seen
like starting the work day
outside in the cold
and finding
only two left hand gloves
sure
they will work
a little bit discomforting
not at all
the enjoyment
one of each would bring
but that's the thing
it's not what you get used to
that the power should come
it's that should be ...
Far and Away
down the list
of the things
in memory
that you might honor
not as one of the things ...
of those things ....
you simply dismissed!.

It is an ineffable challenge
to render...
any "real"
all imbuing
explanation
as to why
perpetuation
seems the only Quest
for those who have regressed deigning to live with less
than the full potential
that seems so essential
to the human Condition
yet so many push on
Sans any sign of contrition
indeed
they seem impervious
to any knowledge of...
their obsequious subservience adhering to so abhorrent a view that's so often of late
It seems....
as if it deems
A need to elevate, perpetrate instalate to dictate
perpetuate the growing hate
of a monger
that should no longer be relevant were it not
for the egregious deception
by those who believe
Our new starting point
will be the Inception....
.. by their god-given right
to appoint
to anoint
a criminal, a traitor,
A would be fascist dictator
their own fearless leader
that feckless man
who could not care less
about making America great
now
or in the future
or at all
certainly not every again
never again!!
NO ! Never again!

A pall fell over the crowd
When they heard the announcement
The pronouncement
That freedom had been rescinded
Pursuit of happiness has ended
Your liberty is no longer honored
Arguing is no longer tolerated
Your reality is about to be eviscerated
By the new one we have created .

They say money can't buy happiness
So maybe .....
.... I could lease it for awhile
Maybe I could try it on for size
Or test drive it for a mile
Not that I would want it
To be eternal
Not on this earth I must say
For without pain
What do you gain?
Without darkness
It would always ..be ..the same ...day

So maybe that is the answer
That comes creeping thru the night
When shadows dance and evil grants
What would never survive the Light
STILL...Some things are never hidden
No matter how black the ink
That stains the pages
Of our history
Those times
We've tried so hard
NOT ...TO...SINK...
SO ..Happiness is not to be granted
For money, Lust or FAME
It can't be rented , leased  or purchased
But it can  be yours.. just the same

It doesn't cost that much you see
A sale can be arranged
No credit cards or LARGE sums needed...
.....All it takes........is a little change.

There is no reflection
Like that which comes from rejection
First you use projection
To push out and blame
Then you try to stake out a claim
With statements like I don't care
I was about to walk anyway

But that night or a few days later
As you lay there waiting for sleep
That's when your mind begins to stray
Try to pull it back and away
Or drag your mind around the corner
Then an hour later you realize
For some time you've been wandering
Down the path of truth
So you try try and try to get back to the LIE
You know what I'm reminded of ?
Those times when you're watching the TV
You realize the windows reflected light is center screen
Obtrusive in it ability to be right where you want to see
Try as you might you can't ignore it
And then suddenly it's back....
..IT'S BACK!
So you did manage to find rejection
Of that intrusive projection
Somehow  ignoring that annoying reflection
As long as you didn't know you knew
Then that problem was something you could look right through
For as long as you didn't let yourself know you own it.

I don't have no love to share anymore
you took it all with you
when you walked out the door
now you're back knocking
wanting me open up
to let you back in
what makes you think
that I do that when
I don't know who
it is out past that door
besides I don't even live
I don't live there anymore
you took all of me away
when you wen......anyway
like I say
I don't have any no love
to share...no more !

I get this feeling
That I've been here before
Knocking and a knocking
On this same old door
No one ever answers
The ringing of the bell
I've got something I want to say
And no ones here to tell
I went and found a window
Took a look inside
Saw myself in a looking glass
From the other side
Everything was backwards
My left side was my right
And where the sun shines on my head
Inside it was night
I found I was walking backwards
Going back to from where I came
Even though I had been before
Nothing looked the same

A crowd grew up before me
But I was still alone
I saw all the familiar faces
Of people that I've never known

Then I was gone
Right before my eyes I was gone
No-one stood before me
No-one who was there
No-one in the looking glass
And noone really cares
No-one hears me knocking
And noone never comes
No-one must realize
That I am noone

No one was nearby
When I fell... So did I
In  my heartbreak and agony
Make a sound
I'm sure I heard myself
In aggrieved despair
Crying out
When no one was around

So Silence hung
all  around me
Like anger filled air
When silence screams
At those...
... Lost and Shattered dreams
When we knew ... We were through
But had not yet
Come to terms with ...
.......it!

So now you're gone
As so am I
From that place in time
We once shared

Now each side exists
Lost in the Mists
Of lies and lies and alibis
And those futile attempts
To make what's wrong seem right
Trying to create Darkness
From the smallest ray of light

So now I wonder
If anyone was there for you
When and if you finally fell
To let you know...
... If you made a sound
Or were you just a silent victim
When time  lost all hope as well

Did I make a sound when I fell
If no one was there to hear
ME
Crying out in my pain despair and agony
So I guess it's just as well
Yeah... I guess it's just as well

I guess ...
...it's just as well.

I know you think that were lovers
Probably believe that we're friends
You believe I am the man that you met back then
I'm still breathing so that's where any similarity will end
You have to hope that I love you
And in your heart you probably see
Us being together forever
So I'm telling you that far as I'm concerned
There'll never be anything between us

If you've taken for granted
That there would ever be
Then hear me now what I tell you here
There's nothing that I can see
Will ever grow between us
Anything that tries will die
From lack of Sun and space... to wither

I will not allow you to ever feed
 ANYTHING
That appears to be growing between us

No anger - or fear
Not disrespect or.empty air
No trees of doubt or weeds of trouble
Nor any Temple Church or Palace
If it happens I will tear it to rubble

The only thing that is or will ever be between us
Is the thin layer of skin to hold my body and soul in
I'll keep you so close so close to me baby
That not even air can come between
You are and will forever be
The most beautiful woman I've ever seen
Cause my eyes opened...
... For the very first time
The very first day that we met

So there will never be anything between us
Nothing but love and so with that said
Now that things are looking up
We should do the same
To what the air above us holds
Stars that sparkle like shimmering diamonds
A golden ring  that circles the moon
This will be my promise to you of a love
So that you can look up anytime  
To see a reminder of my love up above

You are everything to me and so someday on my knee
I will ask you as  I let my words carry you
I will let the clouds cushion my head
So that when I come back down to Earth
It'll be when I know that you agreed
To marry me
And nothing will ever come between us

Nothing lasts forever
In this world today
So many words lost
Between us
Nothing left to say
You keep looking for answers
Never questioning why
Seems to be a rerun
With every tear we cry

But even tears will dry up
When it's been too long a time
Between the highs and the lows
And this bitter hill we climb
But nothing lasts forever
Not even the strongest chain
When it breaks and lets you go
You'll be free again
From everything .....but the pain!!

Nothing lasts forever
In this world today
So many words now lost
Between us...
... Nothing Left to Say

You keep looking for answers
Never questioning why
Seems to be a rerun
Every tear that we cry

Even tears will soon dry up
When it's been too long a time
Between the highs we fell off of
And this bitter uphill climb
But no... nothing lasts forever

Not even the strongest chain
When it breaks...
... and lets you go

You will be free again
From everything...
... But the pain

  Yeah! You'll be free again.
.. If that's ...
....what you call free!!!

I know not
why - we
collectively do
what- we
do not- or even
try to  understand

I know not
how- we
connect into
that which they
will not allow or endow
what we demand

I know not
when we
decided to
undo - not view
that knot
that was once
that strand

I  know not
where we
go from here
once we
don't get to imbue
Upon Our Land

I know not
who you
listen to
when naught
was said that engendered
to expand

even the smallest thought
or doubt - idea or regret
or what- might- be lost
by  those
who care not why...
... they just do !
Might that be you ?
Well...
... it's not me!

Do not give me reason to haunt your mind
For I will dig and dredge up what I can find
Turning it back on your placid core
Non sequitur alliterations a lit alit alittle more
   FOR I AM NOTORIOUS

So, do not doubt my ability to route
You... from your sanctimonious intransigency
To push and pull you into a corner where
You never thought you would be  
   FOR I AM
INSUFFERABLY NOTORIOUS

Should I find you neglect to collect
the pieces you discard
I will indeed ...
...far exceed the need...you plead
so hard to accede

   FOR I AM
AMBIVALENTLY NOTORIOUS
       AND INSUFFERABLE

Any abuse necessary to waylay
any excuse
You choose to use
In order to...
...cling
To your inner sanctum
Will i infuse..as I

Resort
to retort
By waxing
Perspicaciously panegyric
Upon your very being
In order to inspire..desire
With any and all necessary
Encomiastic encomium
So as to create higher aspirations

For I am notoriously cruel and inspiring
As I push one to the brink
Because....one way or another..
One way or another
I will....
.. Whatever it takes

I will... Make you think!

FOR I AM.... NOTORIOUS!

FOR SALE- cheap
Make me an offer...today
I can no  longer afford to keep
Since its not working - that is to say
It runs okay
Just not for me...
...Is it able to do ....
....all it's supposed to
So its just a thing now that is in my way
What its real value is
I haven't a clue
Just needs to be gone
Out of my sight
OUT OF the memories
That are all torn apart
Comes the need to succeed
As i am Sellng cheap ....a one- owner heart.

NO TRADES PLEASE .

Have we become
So OBdurate
As to believe
Only by OBedience
Can we create
A future

Therefore all must be
OBedient servants ?
Encouraged
To OBey
Those visionaries
Who show
Through
An OBsfugated vision
Fraudulant validation
By an
OBiterdictum decree

"The OBjective
tolerates no OBjections !"

OBjugation
By those convinced
OBliging ...
Is an OBligation
Without any thought
To the OBlique they seek
To completely
OBliterate

Somehow convinced
OBlivion....
Complete OBliteration
Will heal this nation
OBlivious
To the fact
That this
OBlong view of history
And how often
We've seen this OBloquy
Cast it's shadow across nations
When OBnoxious
And OBscene inhuman beings
OBscurantist regimes
Lead their people
From OBscure into OBscurity

Wherein massive OBsequies
Are ever present
As are the OBsequious
Willing patrons
OBservable by
The  nature of their ignorance

As they believe OBservance
And being an OBservant
Faithful Compatriot
Is equivalent to OBservation

Where in reality
Their darkness... so complete
They could no longer
See...the light and glory
Of the stars
From an OBservatory

Following the OBsessions
Of the exaulted Leader
They come to OBsess
Compelled
To seek and destroy
Dissenters and freethinkers
Who are to be made OBsolete

By their very existance
They are  
Considered OBstacles
OBstinate non- conformists
With OBstreperous
OBstructionist agendas
Seeking to reverse course
By their Obtuse views ...
And philosophies
Believing that the Obverse
Must be seen

Or a time will come
When total OBviation
To save this nation
Becomes....
...all too...
.....OBVIOUS !!

you watch the game
of chess being played
can't help but wonder
why they cannot see
the move to be made
yet ..there they sit
pondering so hard
it's the same
in that game whose name
says it all
solitaire ...where
someone behind you
always wants to say
how and where ...so..
it would be easy to think
it's due
to the view
from where
you are standing
And yes;
it may be true
in games or in life
there can be
greater understanding
from a different perspective
From a different point of view
But.....
It doesn't change the fact
that being objective
allows those
not intimately involved
to see things as ...
...so easily solved
but then again
it's so easy to be positive
To know what direction
what answer
what will be the next move
You would choose
When standing to the side
with nothing at stake
nothing to lose
from making even
the smallest mistake.

What kind of obscure analysis
Implies
What instantaneous retraction
Denies
Although I still believe
The illuminated illustration
Stands fast ... in resolute conviction
That poets can be and often are...
... word butchers!

And then... In...
That hyper Inflated
Monumental moment of Silence
You can hear the discourse
Running rampant through
The metaphorically impaled
Dignity...
As it swallows
In hardchecking defense
Restraining those words
Rising up... in roiling need to avenge
This appalling offense

Screaming eyes burning holes
And every single letter as it streams past
Resolved
To the abrogated
With a sudden conviction
That None Shall be absolved
Not a single a or double m
Whit or whim

Simply waiting with war raging
Beneath this thin veneer
Of social mores and polite adherence
The smiling face and the calm appearance
Of an understanding listener

Knowing and aware
Of the growing
Self-affirming
Sense of indignation
That's such effrontery as to call
Any poet
Even if it is themself
That they spoke of
Just 30 seconds ago
And now winding up and winding down
Any point have this interdiction

Sudden ponderous silence  echoeing with a question mark laden intensity  of the guantlets swing...... how can you call yourself a word butcher and be any kind of... of... of... A poet?

With quizzical eyes. and mild surprise
My face pops forward and up
To gaze upon the springboard
Of this questioning ...
... but obviously sincere
Learned yet learning... lover of words
So leaning in close
And then in whispered tones
Whispered in conspiratorial antipathy
Because I treat them gently
I weigh them Fair
I carve just enough excess
to leave them with value
I wrap them in clean white parchment and tie them up with pride ....
....then pass them over
to be ...unwrapped
savored and enjoyed by...... I hope
a recipient
who enjoys what was related  
Then
With all the luck in the world
ends up sated... by the words
and the thoughts
That I had created

Then watching them walk away the army disbanded and the war horses went calm while the learned yet learning lover of words..... couldn't think of a single word to say.

He has a face etched in relief
The face of a saint
The face of a thief
A face that has seen ...
... A lifetime of pain
He's an old fashioned cowboy
With dust in his veins

He's lived and he's breathed
All that life has to give
He thinks fences and houses
Are no way to live
He's an old fashioned cowboy
Still living on the Range
And he'll die in the saddle
Cuz he just can't seem to change

Homerolls and jerky
Are all that he needs
But when he was younger
He found new ground for his seeds
He's fought and he has ridden
With the best you've ever known
But when he dies in the saddle
He will die all alone

He's an old fashioned cowboy
With dust in his veins
An old fashioned cowboy
Cuz he just can't seem to change

He has a face.... etched in relief
The face of a saint ...
... The face... Of  a thief
A face that has seen
A lifetime of pain
He's an old fashioned cowboy
With... Trail Dust
In ....
             .....his....
                     ..   .....veins!

Old Man of the Mountain
Soldier of the cause
He sees the world through clear blue eyes
He knows all of our flaws
Old man can you tell me
What it is that we should do

We think we know the answers
It's the questions that I kind of doubt
When the leaders begin to whisper
It's time to get out and Shout

WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT ?

Old man what's the reason
That the seasons they turn so fast
And why is everybody walking backwards
With their eyes downcast...
... Are we near to the blast

Old man has the mountain
Got a little room to spare
Cuz if it does... It won't be long Till I'll be with you there

Cause

We're going nowhere...
... living down here

Up on the mountain the water runs so clear
And the sun brightens the Clear Blue Air
Never coming down - never coming down - off this mountain
You'll have to join us up here

Old man's full of stories
All  about the glories...
. ... Of yesterday
But when he's asked
What to do about tomorrow
He simply refuses to say

The only answer that he gives
Is reflected in the way he lives
Can't you see it his way?

My shadow looms largest
At the dusks dwindling light
Overwhelmed by darkness
Disappearing from sight
Leaving me alone to atone
For all that I feel I might have done
in careless disregard for others who
Dont realize night doesnt cover their shadow ...... It joins it to all become one.