trapped in a corner, nowhere to run
the doors have been locked
the windows shut tight
surrounded by walls
they're all closing in

stuck in my corner, nowhere to turn
the escapes have been blocked
the help is long gone
squeezed into a box
there's no getting out

love starts out as snow flurries then turns into blizzards

I loved you more each day so I stopped counting

I wear sunglasses during thunderstorms in a vain attempt to protest the weather
I might as well be colorblind for the way I see the world
Snapping photos with no understanding of shutter speed and lenses yet still capturing it all
It’s a lie when I tell you I’m quiet and I really just like listening as you talk
I care but without telling stories of my own the love is never really there
At times I fold in on myself
But when you truly see me, I am vibrant in my efforts
Though tragically living
for the attention of strangers
I will move for your affection
jump with a flick of your wrist and fall at the jolt of your chin to the beat
Enthralled in a hopeless attempt at rhythm but I will dance and swing because I love it and then debate my independence or selftitled complacence
Walk the rope of possibilities not a choice but a misstep to guide my momentum into whatever chapter comes next
Scared of silly things like truck drivers or dying or whatever
Thinking outside the box is hard when you spend your days in a room full of cubes
I find my creativity stifled by the human need for sleep and yet here I am giving 50 percent at everything all the time never less, BE MORE
That’s not quite enough, but hey, it’s a start

Depression.
Love.
Death.

Depression loves death.
Love depresses death.
But death can never depress love.

I have reached the edge
phantom burdens hover beneath my feet
providing the extra weight
to keep me grounded
I run out of track
ultimately leading to my demise
I'd like to think I would have continued
slowly trekking upward
a singular course
I need not get off
but I turn
and take the scenic ride
floating down over the distance once covered
a changing season may bear differing results

You make me want to pull out my hair
in agitation
Or jump off a cilff from
frustration
But the worst thing is
...I kinda like it

sought in concept form
she of attention darting
someone often dotes

The day didn’t happen
My time didn’t stop
But you were there
And now I’m not

they say to give in secret
and so I do
you say I'm not giving
it makes me sad
when I do give
and you praise another
for my hidden efforts
you say I don't give
but I'm giving in
to self doubt
and I'm this close to giving up
so if that's not giving
then I don't know what is.

I tried to find the words to say
Without letting secrets slip away
But what I forgot was simply that
Its hard not to confess my soul
To someone who knows every inch

Soft, blushing pink petals
Falling like rain around me
Covered in blossoms, in pure enticement
Beautiful in an enchanting way
Filling my heart with surprises
A sudden burst inside me
Can you help me hide my smile?
But I don't know if I want to
Our sky is filled with stars bright
Like gems of joy and happiness
Each one new, filled with amazement
Can you believe it?
A galaxy just for us
With night alive and day to rest
Can we savor hours of infinite heaven
Together beside the endless sea
Of bodies, wandering aimlessly walking
I'm glad that's not us
I've found my place
It's next to you
Where ever you go
Whatever I do
It's spectacular the way
Fate has unraveled
Revealing our destinies
The best way possible
Can you imagine?
It's all ours
Let's just take our moment
Meet me there okay?

The only reason I feel strong
Is because I’m stronger than I was
Before

-girl at the gym

You burn
I burned
Baby, I'm the sun
and your skin is drying out
Your flesh can't handle me for long

I don’t know if my pull is magnetic,
or if I am glue and people just get caught up in the mess.

I don't think I have ever known a love so sincere
With every passing day I find life a little brighter
Its definitely the people
The atmosphere
The opportunities around me
I don't think I have ever known a freedom like the state I'm in now
I don't even have to try
I fit
And I don't think its ever been like this before

pull close
push away
fingers slip
cling to cracks
hold on tight
hands on hands
break my knuckles
fighting back
filled with need
find release
letting go
and I'm free

postures like a *****
cardboard handshakes in passing
you don't belong here

I hate my name
I hate the way he says it
With so much ferocity
I hate the way his tone tears me down
I hate the way he says my name
The way it sounds separates my body
From my mind
I hate the way it feels
I hate how my name destroys me
It keeps me in my place
I hate the way it traps me
I hate how I can be stable until my name fires out of his mouth
and I am knocked to the ground
I don't know who I am
I hate the way it feels
He takes away my being
Each time he says my name
And I hate it

I was always slightly annoyed
he said hello for just a little too long
my eyes and feet cast toward the door
he sat with tea in a public pass through
too many eyes would pass over
mine included
I found out why,
don't remember what sparked it
shrugs
"I don't really have any friends"
casual acceptance
he greeted everyone with a smile
my heart hurt
not many, but any
to him it was another day
my thoughts counteracted my actions
and I let him be
the next day too
and every time after I found out
feeling bad, but not enough to make a change
I won't see him next year
I wish I were a better person.

I feel so wasted and so used
Just theoretically abused
Watching the light glimmer off everyday
Waiting for my life to change some way

And when will it all ever end?
You said now, forever, my friend
From the first moment on
Until our graves marked our deaths
We would be together
Always and forever

It had meant so much to me
Something that you would never know
And that's what hurts the most
Not just that you left me
Because we never really met
Only the images we became

how dare you have the audacity
to ***** me twice over
I am a mountain
don't you dare go around
I stand firm in my decisions
refuse your movements, I don't conform
Once, I lacked the mental capacity for understanding rivers
who flood their own courses
and carve into stone mounts
Predictability. single directions?
never
but to divulge a new creek is all but second nature

You were a balloon
and I was a kite
living with only the sky as our audience
You, a balloon
overcoming obstacles,
fueled with motivation
propelled up, ever so effortlessly
I, a kite
awaiting a breeze to guide my motion
powered by wind and willpower alone
Nevertheless
we conquered clouds
free to roam, or so I thought
rather, free to float
until my string ran out
I remained tied to the ground
as you continued to rise
looking down at me from above
darling, you could only go up
nothing could be done
as I watched you go

I'm alright
Really, I'm surviving
But new perspectives have taken hold
Life is so different from before
And I want to keep up
It's all here
But it doesn't feel real
I'm holding my breath
Keeping my eyes shut tight
I'm not going to release that air
I'm not going to peek through an eye
I know but I haven't seemed to accept
That this is reality
So I won't let it fade by wasting it

He took hold of my hand and we flew
Away from the city lights surrounding our troubles
Leaving our lives up to chance to seek out adventure
And filled our lungs with the freedom in night air

Hearts beating in code to thrill and excitement
I dared not let go, trusting I won't start to fall
But dread wins out when the clock reaches midnight
We will have to go back, a bliss like this never to last

And lay in our beds with stars over head
Magic and spells, with dreams they were real
Waiting and wishing with hearts of pure gold
Aching for belonging, longing for control

with no such warning
Spring hit us like a bar fight
a lot of buildup

she's home for the holiday
and so am I
the difference is, however
that she came from some place
and
soon she's going somewhere new
Yeah, I made it out
but now that we're back
and nothing's even changed
she climbs a different mountain everyday
while I stumble down the same hill
I've been going at for years
so while she's cutting ribbons
I'm cutting class
(but not really, because I still care too much to do that)
metaphorically speaking.


Its like high school all over again.

He said he needed space so I gave him stars

I smell perfume in the air
on your breath
in your hair
I will myself
to embody
mind and soul
fervor--full
heavy lashes
flutter faulty flicks
hang my out heart
just for kicks
your disposition
counteracts
a weak proposition

You
are a song
that grabs my attention
in seconds

Someone sat there
Ten years of my life in their hand
And with one finger
Decided I wasn’t worth watching

darling, you are lovely
call me your bird
and I'll parrot back to you sweet nothings
that reinforce your radiance
with the rapid fire beat of my fluttering heart and wings

everybody visits.
come
sit
join me under the breezeway
isn't the sunset lovely?
stay for a while, I'll pull up an extra chair
lazy smiles
Sunday vibes
our feet kicked up and arms thrown back
they beam
"Oh, I could stay here forever!"
but they don't
and the sun progressively dips
reclining behind our vantage point
the other side of the mountains
and they go to follow it
Leaving me with the dusk and my thoughts until the next day comes with it’s slew of visitors

they burned my mouth
shattered my teeth
with the everlasting taste
of dreadful stillness

*I'm longing for it.

Forgetting there was a time before one existed proves how self-centered we have become

I am a creature of habit,
habit's origin undisclosed
My methods change
intentions don't
my motives do contend

I feel connected to you
Just by listening to the words
Of your favorite songs
Captivated by lyrics
Lost in the notes
Filled with meaning
Of everything you love
Those voices singing
I have a part of you
Kept with me always
In the beats and rhythms
Of your little treasures