you told me that you loved me
so i lit a match and
watched the words
go up in flames
in front of me
i swallowed the words
i love you too

you wanted me to show you so
i unzipped my chest
took out my heart
and displayed it in a glass case
i waited for you to speak but
you walked away instead.
i should have known
when you told me about your collection of hearts
it wouldn't stop
at mine.

I often wonder what it takes
to be able to swim in a tide
as tough as yours.
every time you look at me
i drown.

do not put me on a pedestal
i am human
put me on the ground
can you still love me here?

i wish i knew what to say to you
what you wanted
you never tell me
anything
you just blame me
we aren't moving forward
and i have no interest in reliving a past
filled with so much pain.

each page of our story
gave me paper cuts
by the time i was finished
my hands were sketched in blood
reminding me of every time i tried to turn a page
and you refused.

this was
your chance
to show me
who you were
i learned i knew all along
i just didn't want to believe it.
this was
your chance
to prove me
wrong.