Our memories and feelings are starting to slip
Along with my wanting finger tips

The sun sets and the moon starts to raise
As I prolong my fastened gaze

You keep me plastered to this very point
Where I can't move a single joint

Unlike you thought, I wanted you, don't you see?
And in return, I wanted you to want me

Hoping has gotten me nowhere but here
Encircled in everyday lies and fears

From thinking and thinking, but never acting on a whim
But here and now, it's time to begin

It's time to stop and break the trap
Of loving you with no looking back

You don't deserve my adoration, but yet I give
This is not what it means to fully live

To fully live means to enjoy your own life
Not surrounded by others' chaos and strife

So I want to wave farewell and bid adieu
But the only thing keeping me here is you

How would you describe depression
To someone who doesn't know?

Circling, circling*
Around and around
Eventually, you fall
And hit the ground

Is sixteen and seventeen too young
To tell you that I want you to be my wife?
I guess my love was too strong for you
Because my emotions seemed to suffocate your life

Apparently I played too grand a part in your stressful days
A simple "I love you" here and there was too taxing?
My "How's your day?" was a strain to you, my dear?
However my love never weaned, it was constantly waxing

I'm sorry for caring for you the way I did
Could I just make it right again?
I adore you, my love, and it would make me overjoyed
Just to have the closeness of a friend

But here I lay, in a pool of my own tears
Seventeen, and way too young
To feel this hurt, so cruel and so curt
And they say my life has only begun?

What's so bad about remembering
Only for a little while?

In the heat of the daytime
And in the cool of the night
Sometimes it escapes my mind
But when caught in the moment
Of favorite songs
I can't help but feel sublime

You confront me subconsciously
And encircle me dearly
I cannot escape from you now
I want to forfeit and surrender
To feel and remember
But I honestly do not know how

When I'm caught in those moments
On cool spring nights
During a car ride home with my someone new
A song comes on the radio
Which reminds me of us
And I look out the window as trees brush through

He is talking to me
But all I can seem to grasp
Are the issues that lie on my heart
I'm dreaming of you
And remembering last year
On this night, when we fell apart

I am envisioning laying in my bed
The covers strewn over my head
Shaking and crying with grief
Perhaps there was something more
Something I can't quite put my finger on
That brought me some sense of relief

Perhaps it was the thought
That things were not right
That every time you hugged me, something was missing
But maybe that wasn't your fault
Or mine either
So what's so bad about reminiscing?

It's been a year
I can't believe
I can't quite reconcile
How everything seemed so perfectly chaotic
But self-destructive
And I hid it all with a smile