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Kacie Jul 2015
I miss the way
you would pick me up
and drive around
all night.
You always made sure
I would be home
before dawn.

I miss the way
you made me sing along
to your favorite songs.
You told me
if I didn't sing,
you would crash.

I miss the way
your voice sounded
when you talked so fast.
You would scream
but to me
it sounded like singing.

I miss the way
you would cry
to get out of a ticket.
The cops never knew
you and I
were up to no good.

I miss the way
you constantly talked
during movies.
You hated when someone
asked you to be quiet
as if they were the rude one.

I miss the way
you made me think
I would have you forever.
Kacie Jul 2015
I once wrote
about my
poor
dead
girl.
I didn't capitalize anything
I didn't use punctuation
I just wrote
and made myself
and you
seem
pathetic.
You were strong
You stood tall
and
walked like thunder.
You lived
and breathed
and used your life
and your breath
to yell and sing and run away
you were brave.
You were a revolutionary.
But now
you are still
just a
poor
dead
girl.
And thats okay
I think
Kacie Jul 2015
I am older than you ever will be.
You are forever 19.
I hate that I am growing
and you are not.
It was your plan
to get better.
You were going to have a life.
I don't know when your plan changed.
I wish you had talked to me first.
I guess you didn't want me
to talk you out of it.
I would have tried
so hard
to talk you out of it.
I wonder
if I could have helped
Kacie Jul 2015
I was drunk
at my family reunion
when they announced
I won
Catholic of The Year

Is this my life now?
Kacie Jul 2015
There’s a moment between
normal reality and
a world crashing event.
In this moment, he is not dead.
Not to you,
not yet.
But you feel something.
You know this is the calm
before the storm.
The air is beautiful
and serene,
but there is a foreboding presence
lingering.
And then comes the rain.

One less person,
who floated around life
in a constant fog
before
finally
drowning.

April showers bring May flowers,
but what do storms in February bring?
Frozen ground that must be
dug up
for him to be
laid to rest.
He never got much
rest.
To the boy who I'll never see again
Kacie Jul 2015
"And I dont want to go upstairs unless its with you."
You whispered to me
Into my ****** ears.
We got high together
And you kissed my head
and you whispered such sweet things
you made me remember
I can be loved
I can be wanted
I can sleep with a boy
because I want to
And that night,
I wanted to
To the boy who drives me across state lines
Kacie Jul 2015
I got drunk
and I yelled at you
for picking him
over me.
I should have yelled
earlier
I should have yelled
sober.
I should have yelled
at him
and not you.
I should have yelled
years ago.
Back when it would have made
any difference at all.
I should have yelled
to the police
instead of staying.
Police reports
would have made you
believe me
instead of
him.
I should have yelled
when you called me the bigger person.
I am not the bigger person.
I am so small
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