you are my lighthouse
guiding me home with your beam
i scurry towards its luminance like a mouse
and run my finger down your body, down your seam

my record spins around the spindle
it’s rose-shaded hue seen through the dustcover
it plays a symphony of birdcalls and beatles songs
i try to give it away a dozen times but
no one takes it

why does everyone claim to want a record
then they don’t take mine, one in perfect condition
only if you don’t look at the scratches

i don’t know what i did wrong
but knowing me, it’s bound to be something
big, something that gives you a right to
cut me off

do you hate me for what i did?
that nameless, insignificant crime of such
significance

i still imagine what my life would be like
if you were still my friend
but now im burning in purgatory
the coolness biting me

i guess i’m a hopeless romantic.
want to buy petty little things
to see a crack in his pretty smile

want to pick buttercups for him
so i can see the glow on his face
yellow, radiant, much like him

on a summers night drinking
cheap beer and kissing him
knowing his taste over *****

in his bed listening to his
billy joel and nirvana cds
not noticing them playing but

his green eyes piercing my soul
as he side eyes me and smirks
laying in my arms warm embrace

just let the goings go
and the time flow out

like fine wine
drinking it with you

on the beach of my making
but who knows?

anything could happen

missing him while i’m in a country
a country where im supposed to be at home
a country that is mine to identify with

i identify with him
with his country, his people, his ideals
i’ll be a soldier for his country if that means
i could be a soldier for him

don’t force me to fight for some far-off land
some land where i can’t be me
where i can’t express my love, my passion

i wonder what his hair feels like
as i comb through them with my fingertips

or how his skin feels, my dopamine spikes
when he traces down my spine, lips on lips

or maybe his breath on mine as i kiss him
just after he brushed his teeth, minty

could it be his guiding hands on my limbs?
as he looks so sweet and divine.