the stress
of this thing
is heavy like a  
weighted blanket
casting blue shadows
across crispy kindling-dry
landscapes of the world's future
with a grey thunderhead towering
to the invisible foothills of olympus
miniaturizing all i've ever been
and all i could ever hope to be
while gut-churning claps of
deafening news follow the
terror-bright disease;
luminous arteries
that reach down
from heaven
to char the
earth

wyoming spring
is like a campfire

the sun's beautiful light
burns your face

while the constant wind
freezes the shadows

happy mediums
are for other lands

a frozen flow, like an unfamiliar face
dripping from void to void
sculpts viscous memories from deceitful clay
into echoing tales of a never-was
that bears the fruit of the never-will-be

but perfect waves, like open-endings
are immersed in the possibilities
of living in nothing and no thing
transmuting the phrase "will not be"
into anti-vocabulary

the anchor
of my
mind has

melted

released into
the swelling
tide

crucify the king
he cares for us no more
the gifts he gives are rotten
and ****** us at the core

we'll celebrate no longer
the birth immaculate
no one can believe it
she was not celibate

fear not my merry friends
there is no need to cry
new leadership we've found
you'll see him by and by

the burden that he carries
is the sack of gifts he'll bring
while suited in the crimson
that leaked out of the king

under the cross he'll leave
for every girl and boy
a reason to be selfish
and buy into his ploy

no need for guilt or penance
it's all come to a head
no need for soul salvation
let's play a game instead

so take my hand and see
the pleasure to be had
no need for self improvement
put your trust in this year's fad

emptiness
above
surface
of tree
of earth
of sea
space
for leaf
for dust
for cloud
filled
by tree
by earth
by sea
breathing
each other
in locked
embrace
dancing
through
ages

he bleeds music
liquid melodies and clotted rhythms
that spurt in pulsating streams
from the open wound
of his beating heart

he lives in the key of b
with a love
that cannot
be freed

he expertly constructs
intricate structures and framework
laying the foundations on clouds
(the murky clouds of "what if")
he builds story upon story
erecting a crystal fortress
topping the tallest spires with mirrors
so the whole world will see
how completely right he is

as he steps back to admire his work
he notices the smallest of cracks
in the keystone above the golden arch
that branches as it advances
ripping through the glass castle
which crackles from threshold to roof
in an inherent and utter collapse
that leaves a glimmering shattered heap
of imagined debris at his nauseated feet

living in the round
caused by an effect

walking from my grave
i age less and less

retirement moves toward
the middle years i missed

while working 60 hours
to barely pay the bills

youthful spirit sprints
my body in its prime

toward my younger years
learning all the while

then the teenage rebel
and the awkward tweener kid

a boy with every friend
curiosity without end

and i can ride my bike
clear across the town

and now i choose my clothes
just like a big boy can

and soon i will crawl
into my origin

and there i will wait
until i'm old again

the silver side of the cloud
floats on the far side
remembering not the price it paid

the glory days are far behind
night life stretches out ahead
the path is felt not being seen

the witness ran away
the judge's mind is blind
the jury is ripe with enemies

and yet

there is a home for you
in my stillborn heart
submerged in the warmest blood

believing in myself
believing i am good
being what a good
and worthy person should

believing in myself
believing what i do
when doing what i do
is good and worthy too

believing in myself
believing i am seeing
truth in my whole being
darkness ever fleeing

between stanza lines and
between line words and
between word letters and
between letter sounds
are found the
space and silence
that beget them all

page so white
it blinds the mind

peering into the void
seeing it empty so empty
too empty for thought

just start writing
something will flow
maybe write about
the inability to write

looking up
page suddenly full
ink everywhere
the void speaks again
it always does

a dark and sticky net
is catching all my words

i see some flying in the night
but they are too absurd

so i wait and wait and wait
until a worthy phrase

forms in that nowhere place
and emerges from the haze

under sapphire-clouded skies
a subtle stillness settles
quieting an anxious heart
and relieving worldly pressures

breathing in sweet mountain air
our mother's strength fills my lungs
as up the steepest trail i climb
every obstacle is overcome

sunlight's touch warms my face
like father's power, omnipotent
and as my soul sings in praise
vanished is my discontent

the frightful night is ending
the dead fall back to sleep
their twisted faces holding
all the secrets that i keep

the dawning hour is near
the quickened feel its call
with brilliant minds unfolding
and deciphering the scrawl

of all the the fools gone past
that warned us of the terrors
that lurk beneath the surface
turning dreams into nightmares

for now i watch the clouds
the clouds of my demise
the things that i hate most
are my own honest lies

it's time to drop the curtain
on this round of suffering
it's time to open inward
and praise the holy queen

as she regains the throne
the empty throne of peace
and begins to bury hatred
inviting all into the feast

how long she'll reign is known
by sand and hour-shaped glass
and when the clock strikes nothing
you'll know she was typecast

the court is ever filled
with coyotes and dark clowns
the truer truth abandoned
and hidden from the hounds

the dreadful night is falling
the dead begin to wake
their twisting faces turning
toward our new heartache

the sun-fired clouds
cannot consume
the cool-blue slivers
of tonight’s sky

as nameless colors
dance to the rhythm
of fire and ice
in twilight’s silent waltz

just as many truths
are left unuttered
their presence being felt
but obscured by words

you formed near the center
and grew faster than expected
one among the many
unassuming but perfected

and as the heat arose
all you did was grow
until you could no longer
be held down so low

and when you finally broke free
as you are so inclined
you rushed toward the surface
leaving your whole world behind

swimming through the maze
of liquid and cookware
you quickly found the surface
and disappear into the air

the lifetime of a bubble
born in a boiling ***
begins and ends so quickly
it never gets a thought

bursting billow belches billowing
twisting tornado translucent tornadoes

sparks sear skyward searing
toward tower trees towering

beam blaze brash blazing
toppling tinder torched tinder

scorched cinder circling cinders
tireless tabernacle transcendent tabernacle

the shadows of the fall
they echo down the hall
like jagged little reminders
of a world we kept in blinders

when the one of all is shattered
his head upon a platter
the river stops to rest
in an ocean of ******

and the moon flies wantonly
embarrassed of the bo tree
and the scrolls fall to the floor
in a burning down bookstore

plague slop flows
along the curb
chamber *** disgrace

looking down
at blue hands
fingers interlaced

begging prayer
hopeless words
escaping frailty's lips

aching bones
crushing head
****** pressure slips

deadened ears
blackened heart
lungs full of foul air

feel the chill
damp and still
glazed and vacant stare

dreadful round
of recurrence
weary of the pain

when it ends
it begins
all over once again

***** clouds smudge
across heavy skies
laden with tawny soot

sagebrush steppe glows
under jaundiced light
blazing wildfire summer

i was born
a traveling man
on the shores
of a foreign land

i can see
the horizon
reaching out
to the sky

i can see
my horizon
stretching out
from my hands

i will die
a measly man
all I built
buried in sand

obsessed with not obsessing
dressed for overdressing
caressed but not caressing
left without the lesson
speak without compassion
undress the latest fashion
a day in the life of my hero
mediocre is better than zero
better but not the best
wrestling with the rest
resting is on the wrist
trial of a tryst
miles and miles of smiles
shadows and sundials
believing without faith
waiting for the wraith
fallen without grace
place without a face

early in the morning
with the world still lost in sleep
the stars told me a story
of a secret they can't keep

a young man lost his way
and walked into a forest
stumbled aimlessly for days
then found a cave to rest

when he awoke he found
while alone inside his cave
the forest disappeared
and now a field of graves

he rose from his tomb
and walked into the midst
a graven granite wasteland
enveloped in thick mist

he wandered there for years
searched for her resting place
and finding hallowed ground
with reverent lowered gaze

in sacrificial ritual
he opened his true self
bled tears upon her stone
and begged her for her help

his dying prayer was heard
by the sacred earth
she relayed to the stars
the story of his birth

he was a son of god
imprisoned in this land
and helpless wandering
was all that he did have

the stars were moved with pity
and upon him they bestowed
the knowledge of his origin
and all that he was owed

the old man raised his head
for the first time saw himself
and brave knight that he was
he walked with providence

he crossed the field of death
back to the darkened wood
lay in his lonely cave
to awaken in the world

i stumbled to the shower
and glancing in the mirror
i saw the fearless knight
in my eyes appear

the hypnotic intensity of light’s subtlety
holds his disquiet in a trance
as twilight writhes between colorful worlds
in an impossible glowing dance

though veiled by the clouds of silence
her full moon heart rises in his mind
and by faith alone, he offers all he is
to the invisible brilliance of her love
as she beckons from the darkness
with tendrils of stillness and peace

floating gossamer shimmers
on heavy sepulchre air
lying dormant in the dark
patiently hibernating in
long-suffering carnivorous wait

white spider-threads echo with
last breath wing-beats and
choking moth-wing dust flies
as they silently pronounce the
rhythm of the timeless dance

this one dies
that one lives
this one lives
that one dies
forever and ever and ever

known from history to history
and named in every age
the muse our of imagination
circles above the darkened stage

firmly held by winter's grasp
but heralding the birth of spring
starlit hope shines from afar
breathing life into eternal dreams

see it on your face
forming on your tongue
here we go again
your thoughts will be flung

my coiled anticipation
reaction tightly wound
my trigger tripped with words
your intention precedes sound

you vomited your language
blind to elegance
it sloshes in my ear
mood now thick and tense

do you understand
or ever stop to think
how spoken words reflect
your mind's horrendous stink

allowing it to settle
sting dulls with every second
words will not end the world
patience has been beckoned

iridescent inkblot
splats across
sapphire skies

raucously roving
empty and
eroding earth

barren branch
territory and
taloned toes

warily watching
canyon and
cracked clay

the only way out
is in
never arriving
at center
realization
the only way in
is out
never arriving
at edge
realization
no center
no circumference
awakening
just be
and be free

she reaches my heart
as she sings her song of light
restoring night-withered spirits
with dawn’s melodious sight

it can be seen in
every morning's sunrise and
sunset every night

it can be seen in
water's round path
from sea to rain to river

it can be seen in
coral limestone peaks
eroding into valleys

it can be seen in
spring's first flush of growth and
decaying piles of leaves

it can be seen in
monarch chrysalis deathmasks
birthing renewed and vibrant life

it is written
between the lines of nature
by the hand of god

understand
because
you see

to find a glimmer of light
in this sea of
blackened thoughts
is like trying to find a torch
that is the treasure marked
with an X on a foreign map
written in an unknown tongue
in the middle of the thick darkness
known by subterranean dwellers

think happy thoughts
they say
keep a journal of gratitude
they say
focus on the positive
they say

they
have never experienced
the depth of hopelessness
found at the height of despair

the deepest truth lies
between the lines
of every sentance

the deepest beauty lies
between the colors
of every painting

the deepest reason lies
between the being
of something and nothing

the fire of desire burns in every heart
until cindered ashes fall apart
revealing the cavern hidden inside
and if it feels full it's just
a lie

everything i threw into the fire
that i might quench thirstful desire
was consumed so quickly and then
the fire begged for fuel again
and again

there is no solace in this place
i am so ready to leave this race
and find in my heart once and for all
the peace that can only come from
the fall

out of this mindset and the stupid pace
to find again a peaceful head space
full of people that care for their neighbor
and help each other to
always remember

that we are nothing but love at our core
nobody wants to live at war
so why can't we  stop the constant fight
and instead see ourselves with a
clearer sight

and feel that our greatest power
comes in unity of every flower
that grows in this fertile garden
that was planted by god's
own hand

at the edge of night
vultures circle
the bones of another day
leaving me
one sunset
closer to my grave

barren canyon
echo-haunted walls
thirsty sand-blown dust

skeletal branches
stripped of life
sloughing-bark itch

shriveled snakeskin
crackles in disintegration
snagged on ancient sagebrush

but when her teardrop falls
the love buried in his desert heart
springs to unquenchable life

a land textured with years
and sage-scented experience
crackles under boot-clad foot

and within flowing crystalline skies
a cloud's dream of permanence
withers like the desert sand below

adjourned mallard flock
madly silent flapping
v-formation missile

slippery light slicing
looking glass surface
liquid sun river

grassy hair tossing
tickling valley shoulders
loping floodplain floor

beyond river's snake
violety haze peaks
horizon's gravity tugs

immortal wedding band
encircling the globe
dividing evening from twilight
and dark of night
from morning light

the ring remains unbroken
since the first kiss of the sun
tracing our home's rolling pace
in dancing color
light's embrace

and as i watch the light fade
and clouds catch heavenly fire
i know i see just half the halo
with each day's end
glow and shadow

and half a world away
a man looks to the east
and he sees the other half
and he realizes in himself
with a soulful laugh

that half a world away
a man like me looks west
and as I see my half above
he knows it's the same halo
that we both know and love

the halo never rests
it's dance never complete
and until time's timely end
around the world
it will always bend

to remind all god's creations
with flowing golden-purple hues
that they are in the loving hand
of the ultimate being
that knows each grain of sand

there has only been one day
since the creation of the world
the sun has never died
and never been reborn

hope's words soar to heaven's height
leaving much time for contemplation
during the silent fall to earth's reality

when one quietly walks the path
of wisdom and compassion
they scale the tallest mountain

when planted on the highest peak
the whole partake of both
heaven's height and earth's reality

upon seeing you
i see myself
when helping you
i help myself
and in hurting you
i hurt myself

compassion is
the root
of equality

to stand beneath a sunlit
flowering cherry
is to stand in the
presence of
god