I let your hands explore my chest and I pretend you're searching for my heartbeat.
Feeling how it chirps for yours, like a bird calling out to its lover in the storm.
Pretending your body's intention was to keep mine warm when your mouth was leaving kisses like small fires burning across my skin.
I didn't feel the smoke in your breathe till I was burned down,
and I blamed myself for playing with fire.
I let you whisper ***** things in my ear and pretend the sounds are still the birds, which is to say I've forgotten the sound of my own voice.
So I let you build a nest within me, forgetting that I lived here too once.
What once was does not know my own body now.
Where you touched does not know how to exist without you.
Which is to say,
Who I was then does not know greedy hands like now.
Oh how I envy the oblivion.

It is said that if you fall for two people
you should always pick the second
because if you really loved the first
you wouldn't have fallen for the second
But I've drowned for my love
and I can't help but pulling you under with me
so you can know how it feels to love the first;
Longing for the surface because they've dragged you so deep
My love,
why must you do this to me
and always wonder why he saves me
when you sat at the shore not knowing my favorite color
-he knows my favorite is blue and you think it's green

I stopped asking questions
when you stopped listening;
We sat in the silence we had created for ourselves
in all the words we didn't know
how to say anymore.
Are you choking on them like I am?
-it ended when you didn't miss my voice

I'm the type that will leave you when you least expect it
At midnight, while you're asleep after hours of making love
I'll uncoil myself from your limbs and pretend they aren't yours when I'm leaving
The moon will try to remind me of you on my walk home
How you reflected so much light onto me
No matter the countless times I tried to push you away from me, you always spun back to me like gravity
So I walk the rest of the way to my house looking down at the dim sidewalk
It's easier to act oblivious than to face what's been done
Don't we all know this?

I’m not going to compare what we had to a tombstone
because there, you would have at least left me some form of goodbye
Something to re-read when I needed a reason to why I couldn’t find you
Where our love use to be
Hidden in the folds of my sheets; Under my porch light at 2 am
Anywhere and everywhere I've been has always been you
I can’t see the sun without pretending the warmth is from you
But at night I feel the coldness tearing away at my skin and it feels like honesty
Laying alone in my bed is like laying with a stranger or a dead carcass
I guess both can be the same  
But if I were to compare what we had to a tombstone
it would be for the reason I can’t see you anymore
Without imagining you under it
At least then I could pretend you left those words for me to find
Where our love use to be
Or never was