I don't know if I loved you,
or if I loved being in love.
Maybe my ego hurt more than my heart,
cause I feel like for you I wasn't enough.
I don't know if I miss your fingers on my skin,
or only being so sweetly touched.
Perhaps you weren't the one,
but just one within much.
I don't know if I was happy with you,
or just glad to be in someone's heart.
It might not be what love was supposed to be,
but in fact, simply a false start.

you cannot break me down as I break myself. you could try but my subconscious has you beat, my entire being has you beat.

She said : " you're too young for a stable and lasting relationship "
I said : " I love you , because our friendship has grown into the most beautiful thing ever , see I've known her since the seventh grade and i fell in love with her in the eighth because she was and still is everything to me, my king, she is, my queen too.

Say what you will about my fickle heart and her but she's the only girl that has never allowed me to feel sorry for myself and has allowed me to live as if I'm " normal " I am " normal " .
Rae? The love I have for you? It is ******* beautiful. I promise

time will eventually knock on my door and tell me I'm not needed around anymore... .said .gray under the moonlight trying to find forever and realising.....
realising forever is only but another one of her dreams. She feels her coffee going cold and the void in her heart turning cold too, nothing lasts forever.
you made the palm of her hands you're world, you put your heart into moulding this world and she repeatedly closes her palms to show you how the pain you had once sworn to never feel, will be your beings demise.

Let love in , they said
She gripped her palms tighter, she did
   Breaking my world and walking away with my heart.
Warm fingers? Could never melt the void
But two cold and sad souls could never make each other happy or heal each other either.

What is one to do with epiphanies at night time.

to the girl:
        thinking about you hurts
             i don't like doing it anymore
           but how do i stray from what i
           am accustomed too.
         night time, eleven : eleven passed
         you're not the one i wish for..
         anymore.
      nor will i ever wish upon a star
      for another lover as if star crossed
      is what we are.

Rhythm is poetic..
We all know how catharsis emotes, she purges, taps.
She taps away at the keys and if the silence was not too loud you'd hear how the keys on this device create a beautiful kind of rhythm because she says rhythm is poetic and I am thinking of her, thoughts of how if I was ever granted the pleasure of seeing her ..holding her, these thoughts lead to how I imagine her smile would look like and how that would make my heart skip beats, how my heart would race and how beautiful the sound would be..  how I'd ask her to stand close enough to hear it say... rhythm is poetic, rhythm is poetic, rhythm is poetic, this beat, swaying her emotions, letting then run wild because, my heart beats at the tune she hummed, beat..boxed, Sophia Thakur did that.. not a single beat but three beautiful sounds connecting two beings.. two kindred spirits. 
Rhythm is poetic, catharsis personified it, her smile and my heart danced to a beat under the stars with the stars creating constellations, beautiful constellations, creating seasons and the beat created the illusion of a fifth season. Our maker did with the heavens and the earth, we create our own little heaven in moments brought together by time, the stars, her smile, my hitching breath and my heartbeat.