If I could sleep anywhere,
I would sleep in a world where you can close your eyes and never have to open them again.
Because on harsh days where I feel like my spirit is crushed , I just want to sleep forever.
Life is perfect when I’m sleep, but when I wake up.
All the times I tried to feel the release of my soul leaving my body, I always failed.
Then when I wake up, in the hospital looking and feeling dumb, I always feel the same..
******..
And even though you broke my heart in real life.
In my dreams , I am the one hurting you, I can control what happens.
But when I wake up I still love you..
And when you decided to end your life without warning signs.
I tried to wake you up, but you found that world.
And chose to sleep forever.
And for that I’ll never forgive you.
Whats crazy is , when I try to find that same world so I could be with you.
I always wake up
......

There is a girl that I love but she left me
She broke my heart now I feel untrusting
I tried to give her the world but she don’t love me
I cried my eyes dry
She said she didn’t want me
The whole relationship wasn’t even perfect
You did some things to me, I feel like I deserved it.
When you put ya hands on me
I really deserved it
You said you hated yaself
And I felt that
You wanted to be loved And I tried to give you that
But you’d rather go be with people who wanna treat you bad
And I don’t know why you are this way and it makes me sad
I just wanted to do everything I could to make you happy
And I thought that last incident was what you wanted so I did it for you
And look now it ****** us up
Cause it hurt you and now you hate me
I’m not ashamed to say that I still love you
Even though we been thru things I still **** with you
Nobody will ever understand why I **** with you
You took me from a bad place to try to give me a better life
I promise you I will never stop loving you.
I always tell you that you deserve the world and you don’t believe it
But you do.
I just want you to give me a chance to prove it to you
You said I’m not helping you and that **** hurts
You said all I do is make yo life worse
And when I read that text it really hurt
Cause since day one I always put you first
And
I wish I could clone myself so I could give you a new me
Maybe that version will better
I feel like a ****** person,
Baby I hurt ya feelings and you didn’t deserve it
I never mess up so this is all new to me
I regret everything and I hope that you see it
I’m sorry I love you and I really mean it
All I ever want is for you to be next to me
All I want is for you to be with me
And if we can’t be together be my bestie
Until we can fall back in together

Cause this love I have for you won’t ever go away.
And Yes this is a public apology
To you from me.

While he is stretched out in bed sleeping peacefully,
She is wide awake, sitting up straight,
Thinking….
About how once upon a time ago she used to love him inside out.
How she loved his head that is full of curls.
And is dimple that formed when he smiled.
How nothing, I mean NOTHING could compare to the cute tiny kisses he would give her on her cheek.
But then as time when on she started to hate him.
Every-time he reached out to touch her,
She tensed up and placed her hand limp in his.
And meeting his family was a simple fake smile, she said “hi” and kept it pushing.
They’re conversations with each other were dull and boring.
Matter of fact, she barely spoke at all.

And he always wondered why?

I think you are the most beautiful person ever
Every feature of you is like a melody
Beautiful and mesmerizing
And I look forward to seeing your smile
That’s what keeps me going throughout the day.
And although you may think nothing of it
When you put your hand up to the glass to “touch” hands;
It’s a special moment for me
Because you smile while doing it and I feel like there’s a part of you that thinks it’s kind of special too.
Just not as much as me.
And you’re the first person to ever make me nervous.
Just looking at you makes my heart race
And sometimes I’m at a loss for words.
I’ve never felt like this before.
You make me feel like there is a rainbow at the end of a bad thunderstorm
You make me feel happier around you, because normally I’m sad.
And you’re so full of character and kindness.
Oh god your kindness makes me feel like I’m in a dream, because your kindness is so pure.
You let me speak my mind, and you don’t judge me no matter what I say.
*** and your laugh , I literally just heard it while writing this.
Your laugh makes me smile so hard.
This is why I like you.
Although I shouldn’t.
There are rare cases like this where the person actually gets a chance with their crush
But I know it won’t happen for me which *****.
And because your beautiful and older than me; what chance do I have?
Absolutely zero
Maybe 5%.

Sometimes I cry thinking about you and it’s because I care that much.
I just wish you knew exactly how I feel.

And even though my feelings will obviously be either rejected or hurtful, or maybe you’d give me a chance?
I want you apart of my life forever.
And even though it’s kind of forbidden.
I’d still want you to know how I feel.

So if you ever come across this poem

Just know that my feelings are 100% true

When he gave me roses;
I passed his flowers onto someone else.
And when I gave him money so he could buy himself nice things;
He spent it on another person.
We loved each other but we weren’t “in love”
Holding hands meant nothing to us.
In fact, it felt like we were forced to; like younger siblings almost.
At family gatherings our tight-lipped smiles and clasped hands had everyone fooled.
And laying in bed together meant nothing because we slept with our backs facing each other.
Our families were expecting a bundle of joy, so with tears in our eyes, we took one night to create it.
A baby that was created so our families couldn't figure out our secrets.



(The Gay-Straight couple)

If your love runs out,
Don't give up so fast on me…
We can try to get that love back.
We can share mine.
My love is endless for you.
Whenever you need a refill just tell me and I'll go half with you.

IM SORRY
January 27th, 2019 at 12:01 AM

I wasn’t good enough
I wasn’t smart enough
I wasn’t close enough
I wasn’t strong enough
I wasn’t happy enough to keep you happy
I was stupid and did actions on impulse
And now you’re gone…

I wish I could rewind
It’s killing me
I don't want anyone else
I only care about you
I love you, I’m sorry I didn’t show it better

Every notification I get, I pray it's from you.

**** my heart really hurt right now

Really crazy to say that I can't truly be happy without you.