Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Apr 2014 jude rigor
Violet
finally home
from school
such a relief
to be away from
those mean girls
and boys
who forever
pick upon me
just because
i am different
 Apr 2014 jude rigor
Violet
how come no matter
how hard i try
the pain never
goes away?
 Apr 2014 jude rigor
Violet
sometimes
i just wish
you'd simply
love me again
but i guess it
won't ever
happen
it's too
late
 Apr 2014 jude rigor
Violet
i keep crying
my eyes sting
from the salt
no i don't cut
anymore
but i cry
i cry
bitter tears
all of them
i cried for you
 Apr 2014 jude rigor
Violet
stopped
 Apr 2014 jude rigor
Violet
i have stopped
cutting but
i haven't stopped
hurting inside
my heart is still
broken
 Apr 2014 jude rigor
Neo Madime
23:15** I had been crying for an hour or so
23:45 tried to define suicide
02:32 wishing for sleep.

It's like wishing for death made my subconscious a little scared of allowing me to slumber.
I wish, most of all, to have had a tangibly physical notebook to write all this in. instead I use the 'note' function of my smartphone, smoke a cigarette. busy on forward, it's Pandora.

one of those acid-high coffee overbouts, feeling the brain compress inside the skull. for an hour. for a few.

some man in tattered-all's gets angry when I state I have no quarter. like I'm lying when I say it, and must be lying because my pants aren't worn like his. bus and car alike ghost past, the monastic rise of the local music conservatory pokes at the skyline, straight at the overcast.

I toss "If on a winter's night" by Italo Calvino atop the third step of the church stairs leading to the church doors, the Seventh Day Adventist Church, Where we meet Jesus. I begin to write this poem, huddled atop my cellphone as if I were in silent debate with a lover, only sitting to make a point.

to the left is a McDonald's flying a McDonald's flag. A man with a thoughtless white ball-cap and a thoughtful tattoo walks past with a McDonald's dollar drink in his right hand, pointing his arms in opposite directions to illustrate the dimensions of something he wants. "See?" he says to the woman he walks with, her face scabbed over with acne scars.

my eyes are tunnel-visioned to the screen every time I follow a thought, or the glancing past of a passer-by like the woman with the black scarf, black hair, black sweater, grey pants, black shoes.

the orange 'don't walk' sign pulses 7 times, and then sticks, as if waiting for a high-five.

I reach into my backpack for a cigarette.
 Apr 2014 jude rigor
Overwhelmed
I asked the sun
where have you been?
because I needed you,
this last year,
when things got
so dark that I thought
that you were never
coming back.

then the sun
with a brilliant smile
and peaceful tone
asked of me
the very
same
question.
 Apr 2014 jude rigor
liza
it hurts
 Apr 2014 jude rigor
liza
it hurts because it matters
it hurts because you know that it wasn't a mistake
it hurts because you understand that it's kind of your fault anyways
it hurts because they mattered
 Apr 2014 jude rigor
liza
humans
 Apr 2014 jude rigor
liza
i am less than human.
i am a creature that breathes just as they do,
but i am less than them.

i love to believe that i'd fit in
and be a real human some day,
but the little scars on my wrists and legs
move up and become more visible,
screaming
     "here i am"
     "come see"
     "look at how well i can hate"

i am less than human,
where i am a museum of
lazy little razors.
Next page