i've been stumbling around            
reaching out in all directions
and i can't find you                            
you're not there
there's nothing there
no one there
i miss you                      
please                  
someone
hold me

i hope i trip on the street,
fall face first into a puddle
and drown
i hope i lean too far out a window
loose my balance while closing it
and fall
maybe i'll die by mistake                    
i'm just so clumsy            
it just might happen

i woke, with no hope                    
instead: determination
to get through the day,
where i                     almost fell back down
but i didn't,                                        
instead with help      
of a former poet's      
skill of writing            
about mourning        
and moving on          
"forgetting"                  
where i realized        
it's okay, if i try          
to forget your death  
and if i do                  
Remember you          
not to be sad              
it's alright if                
forgetting you            
helps me through      
the day, so i tried      
and i have almost      
made it, five more    
hours till midnight    
then, i have made it  
through one day        
without crying          
because of your loss
sorry love,                                                                    
i'm not forgetting your love                                                                    
i'm forgetting you                                                                              
or trying to                                                                                                                    
to save myself                                          
sorry                                          
i love you                        
but in the end
you're dead
i'm not
not yet