There is a change to rhythm of the light
Is it something about the leaves?
Changing from green to golden red
Or a pencil line of black
edging the flowers petals.

The untimely change of a break
In the summer weather chilling winds
Frosted air bringing lace curtain
Crystals to the kitchen windows.
You had been as frosty to me of late.

I have craved warmth to the point
of leaving you like the summer
was leaving..
But I walked into the kitchen
And you smiled at me at last.

Lifting me up your arms
Light as the laced frost.
Holding onto me as tight as the
tangled clematis in our garden.
And the prosody of emotions
Colored like a kaleidoscope.

At last, I thought
Poetry that I can understand.

PTSD

*The war followed me home.
It  penetrated my skin like nerve gas
Nobody could see it but it was there.
It sits by my feet like a dog.
When I go to bed with you
It lies between us keeping us apart.
I try to scrub it from my skin
In the shower but it won’t come off.
Like a heavy breathing crank call
It pants in my ear as I sleep.
Sometimes it shows me how strong it is
And holds the front door shut
and I cannot open it to go out.
At night just before bedtime
It passes me a handful of meds
I take them and swallow them
But I never ever look
straight into its  eyes.

I am not sure when I started hating women.
I am not sure if I hate all women
Or just ******* Meg.
I know it was after Meg married me.
But that ***** doesn't count as a woman.
She didn't need a ******* husband.
She should have bought a dog.

Pulling me around to show to her boring
****** friends when I wanted to watch
the ******* play offs.

Would you like a cup of tea
And some ******* bunt cake Harry.
No I ******* would not.
I could **** a ******* cheeseburger
With the works and a pitcher of bud.

He seems kinda quiet Meg
You two doing alright.?
Yeah she said smiling
He's pouting because the games on
He's being trained.
Trained for ***** sake.

I looked at her sweet face
and her ***** figure.
And I gave a bollocking to little Harry.
For being such a *******
and marrying her.
After all I reasoned to him
Who needs to buy the cow
When I get the milk for free.

But that little guy had a mind of his own.
Now ten months ago I tied a ******* knot
With my tongue
I can't undo with my teeth.

What a ******* ***** she turned out
She deals out two meals
**** and more ****.
She knows when I am at the end of
my ******* string.
Then she  is sweet to little Harry
And I he pulls me along for the ride.
So to speak.

The ******* fights
The neighbors banging in the wall.
The condo committee *******
Your infracting clause
six hundred and ******* forty one
Sub ******* paragraph three point ******* one.
The right of quiet enjoyment.

I think **** it I could use some quiet enjoyment.
But no hope of that with this *****.
Boy that ******* bra of hers is filled with
a set of lungs.
She never used bad language
When we dated.
But that was before
I came the useless *****.
And the bone idle *******.

For a couple of months now
She started bashing me
In our barneys.
She packs a ******* good Mike Tyson
With that left hook of hers.
Get up you big ***** she yells.
Put your big girl ******* on and fight.
It was only a ******* love tap.
I'm just glad she wasn't
******* mad at me then..

But

Sometimes when the moon is shining
In our bedroom she turns to me
And runs her fingers through my hair.
And kisses me softly like when we just dating.
Her full soft breast press against my bare chest.
I look into her beautiful face
And kiss her deeply.
She says I love you Harry
Your my boy.
******* weird
I say I love you too Meg darling
And I ******* well mean it.

And she takes me softly
And I have tears in my eyes
At her gentleness
Go ******* figure.

Raindancing

a poem
by
Jude Kyrie

Do you remember my love
we were just children back then.
we played in the summer rain.
Dancing in puddles.
Splashing in rubber boots.

I think that's when
I fell in love with you.
I knew even then
we would marry one day.

Remember we always
loved walking in the rain
The olive green days
of our life my love.

Then the sickness came
you tried to hide it from me.
but I knew ...I knew.

Remember that last day
my love.
you asked is it raining
I said yes my love.

Take me outside you said.
Dance with me in the rain
just one more time.

Now  when I feel
lonely and sad
I stand in the pouring rain
and can feel you close to me.
and the gentle pure rain
washes away my tears

Rain Dancing
by
Jude Kyrie*

Do you remember my darling
we were just children way back then.
we played in the summer rain.
Dancing in puddles.
Splashing in rubber boots.
Drenched with happiness
in the summer rain.
I think that's when
I first fell in love with you.
I knew even back then
we would marry one day.

Remember we always
loved walking in the rain.
The olive green days of
our life my love.
You, Me. the rain.

Then the sickness came
you tried to hide it from me.
but I knew ...I knew.

It was too strong for the
rain to wash away.

I remember that last day
my love.
you asked me is it raining
I said yes my love.
It's rained all day

Take me outside,
you whispered.
Dance with me in the rain
just one more time.

Now when I feel
lonely and sad.
and missing you is just
too hard for me to bear.

I stand in the pouring rain
and I can feel you close to me.
And the gentle pure rain
washes away my tears.

RAINY DAY PEOPLE

*Do you remember my darling
we were just children,
it was so long ago.
We played in the summer rain.
Dancing in puddles.
Splashing in colored rubber boots.

Drenched with happiness
in the pouring rain.
I think that's when
I first fell in love with you.
I knew even back then
we would marry one day.

Remember we always
loved walking in the rain.
The olive green days
of our life my love.
You, Me, the rain.

Then when the sickness came
you tried to hide it from me.
but I knew...I knew.....I knew
It was too strong for the
rain to wash away.

I remember that last day
my love.
you asked me is it raining?
I said yes my love.
It's rained all day.

Take me outside you whispered.
Dance with me in the rain
just one more time.
I carried you to the garden
we danced in the rain.

Then as you left me
I carried you to the window.
Two doves were sheltering
from the rain.on our window sill.
as though waiting
to carry your soul to heaven.

I folded my heart into a love letter
and placed it in your soul.
Then kissed you goodbye
for the last time.
Whispering
for you to read on
rainy days my love.

RAINY DAY PEOPLE

*Do you remember my darling
we were just children,
it was so long ago.
We played in the summer rain.
Dancing in puddles.
Splashing in colored rubber boots.

Drenched with happiness
in the pouring rain.
I think that's when
I first fell in love with you.
I knew even back then
we would marry one day.

Remember we always
loved walking in the rain.
The olive green days
of our life my love.
You, Me, the rain.

Then when the sickness came
you tried to hide it from me.
but I knew...I knew.....I knew
It was too strong for the
rain to wash away.

I remember that last day
my love.
you asked me is it raining?
I said yes my love.
It's rained all day.

Take me outside you whispered.
Dance with me in the rain
just one more time.
I carried you to the garden
we danced in the rain.

Then as you left me
I carried you to the window.
Two doves were sheltering
from the rain.on our window sill.
as though waiting
to carry your soul to heaven.

I folded my heart into a love letter
and placed it in your soul.
Then kissed you goodbye
for the last time.
Whispering
for you to read on
rainy days my love.

RAINY DAY PEOPLE

*Do you remember my darling
we were just children,
it was so long ago.
We played in the summer rain.
Dancing in puddles.
Splashing in colored rubber boots.

Drenched with happiness
in the pouring rain.
I think that's when
I first fell in love with you.
I knew even back then
we would marry one day.

Remember we always
loved walking in the rain.
The olive green days
of our life my love.
You, Me, the rain.

Then when the sickness came
you tried to hide it from me.
but I knew...I knew.....I knew
It was too strong for the
rain to wash away.

I remember that last day
my love.
you asked me is it raining?
I said yes my love.
It's rained all day.

Take me outside you whispered.
Dance with me in the rain
just one more time.
I carried you to the garden
we danced in the rain.

Then as you left me
I carried you to the window.
Two doves were sheltering
from the rain.on our window sill.
as though waiting
to carry your soul to heaven.

I folded my heart into a love letter
and placed it in your soul.
Then kissed you goodbye
for the last time.
Whispering
for you to read on
rainy days my love.

RAINY DAY PEOPLE

*Do you remember my darling
we were just children,
it was so long ago.
We played in the summer rain.
Dancing in puddles.
Splashing in colored rubber boots.

Drenched with happiness
in the pouring rain.
I think that's when
I first fell in love with you.
I knew even back then
we would marry one day.

Remember we always
loved walking in the rain.
The olive green days
of our life my love.
You, Me, the rain.

Then when the sickness came
you tried to hide it from me.
but I knew...I knew.....I knew
It was too strong for the
rain to wash away.

I remember that last day
my love.
you asked me is it raining?
I said yes my love.
It's rained all day.

Take me outside you whispered.
Dance with me in the rain
just one more time.
I carried you to the garden
we danced in the rain.

Then as you left me
I carried you to the window.
Two doves were sheltering
from the rain.on our window sill.
as though waiting
to carry your soul to heaven.

I folded my heart into a love letter
and placed it in your soul.
Then kissed you goodbye
for the last time.
Whispering
for you to read on
rainy days my love.

RAINY DAY PEOPLE

*Do you remember my darling
we were just children,
it was so long ago.
We played in the summer rain.
Dancing in puddles.
Splashing in colored rubber boots.

Drenched with happiness
in the pouring rain.
I think that's when
I first fell in love with you.
I knew even back then
we would marry one day.

Remember we always
loved walking in the rain.
The olive green days
of our life my love.
You, Me, the rain.

Then when the sickness came
you tried to hide it from me.
but I knew...I knew.....I knew
It was too strong for the
rain to wash away.

I remember that last day
my love.
you asked me is it raining?
I said yes my love.
It's rained all day.

Take me outside you whispered.
Dance with me in the rain
just one more time.
I carried you to the garden
we danced in the rain.

Then as you left me
I carried you to the window.
Two doves were sheltering
from the rain.on our window sill.
as though waiting
to carry your soul to heaven.

I folded my heart into a love letter
and placed it in your soul.
Then kissed you goodbye
for the last time.
Whispering
for you to read on
rainy days my love.

The afternoon is crawling by slowly.
The grey sky and misty rain
Falls over London once more.
I look from the office tower window.
Below the black
umbrella covered sidewalk
moves like spiny
bats wings seeking shelter.

I want to go home and find you.
I am missing your" hi honey"
how was your day?
I need to see your
slightly smiling face.
Content because we are together.

I want our glass of wine after dinner
as you say is there anything on love?
To hear your sleepy yawn at ten.
Then slipping into bed exhausted
with your kiss and 'night God Bless.
Waking in the morning
with your arm about my waist.

This rain outside has me down.
I power down my laptop
and with a spring in my step
I walk briskly to the subway
and home to you.

Random thought

If you love your horse
Set it free.
If it don’t come back
You got no horse.

Jude 2015

In the isolated desolation of grey skies
There lies an artist palette of blues
and deep magenta reds
That await  to spill onto a lonely earth.

Reaching

I can see the sadness
filling your eyes with tears
your hand reaches
for the ***** bottle.
It trys to drain the pain away.
I wish you would reach for me
instead.

The news that you wrote to me
has my heart singing with joy my love.
You will be home for the Christmas season
Love songs are playing
on the strings of my heart.
she wrote in her lovely handwriting
The notepaper perfumed with gardenia
her favorite.
little crosses signified her kisses.
He read the letter again and again
it was in in the pocket of his army fatigues
her perfume sweet full of memories
as he held it to his face
And breathed her with him.
in the arid terrain of the desert.

I cannot wait only a week
before you return my love
I feel your fingers touching my heart
telling it you will care for it love it
keep it safe
I am so in love with you
so in love
she wrote

The old lady opened her souvenir box
and picked up the folder of his letters
wrapped in a blue ribbon.
she read them as always
in the sequence
that he wrote them to her

somehow it felt as if
he was still on duty
far away like so long ago
His handwriting
so nice to see again
his words as sweet
as the day she first read them
He never did make it home
that Christmas.

The crimson leaves
Profilerate  the maples
Each breeze removing their
clinging fingers to the  beauty
of life.

Floating winding decending
to the fragrances of autumn.
That aroma of things to come
irresistible yet dangerous

They decend into
the the Maelstrom
of the season's.
As they always have.

No more the nightingale
Or the resting swallow
Shall adorn it's leafy conclave.

Only skeleton branches
Pointing like fingers
Into the breath of winter

Within its aincent tired roots.
Beating stronger
than any human heart.
It has a vision.

Of buds unfurled
A green that no other spring
has ever ever seen.
of renewal that lives
deep inside a knowledge.
Far stronger than human intellect.
Of a rebirth that
Perhaps lives in everything
Even creatures as temporary
and frail as us.

The crimson leaves
Profilerate  the maples
Each breeze removing their
clinging fingers of beauty
of life.

Floating winding decending
to the fragrances of autumn.
That aroma of things to come
irresistible yet dangerous

They decend into
the the Maelstrom
of the season's.
As they always have.

No more the nightingale
Or the resting swallow
Shall adorn it's leafy conclave.

Only skeleton branches
Pointing like fingers
Into the breath of winter

Within its aincent tired roots.
Beating stronger
than any human heart.
It has a vision.

Of buds unfurled
A green that no other spring
has ever ever seen.
of renewal that lives
deep inside a knowledge.
Far stronger than human intellect.
Of a rebirth that
Perhaps lives in everything
Even creatures as temporary
and frail as us.

I was fascinated by you.
The very first time I saw you.
I saw the moon falling into my hands.
The breeze kissed my lips
Softly with the promise of springtime.
We have spent many years
together now my love.
More than the
falling leaves of autumn.
Yet still when I look
into your beautiful eyes.
I see that old fascination.
The same one from so long ago.
Yet now
I do not know where I begin
and you end.

Today the memories of us
hang from the low
tear filled clouds
like spiders webs.
The rain falls silently
burning my eyes
with its acidity .
On the porch table
an old  wedding album.
but I am too afraid
my heart will break
if I look inside it.

The falling snowflakes
cover the birdbath.
White and pure now
the winter torrid garden.
Gifted with the renewal
of a state of grace.
Like  a confessed soul.

The red candles flicker
and glow in my window.
Lighting the falling snowflakes
a kaleidoscope in motion.
Empty now your chair
your pipe still unmoved.
Remember how we loved
the first snowfall my love.?

Walking feeling the crunch
like glass shards
.beneath our winter boots.
The gift of the full bright moon
beaming on the boughs.
Creating daylight at nighttime.

All the pathways in
your beloved garden
,Are filled with fresh snow.
An even layer of purest white
filling all the voids
in the backyard.
Just as you once
filled all of mine.

It was springtime in the capital.
I visit here every year on this day.
Cherry blossoms are abundant
everywhere I look warm spring sunshine.
The wall is long and filled
with the names of the fallen.

I look for the name
of my boyhood friend Joseph Reilly
It is always hard to find.
So many names so much sadness.

We served together in Nam
I hear the explosion
the flash of the landmine.
He gave his life that I might live
a gift beyond any gratitude.

A shaft of sunlight falls
onto the gold filigree
of the names on the wall.
On my white shirt they reflect
like on a screen.
I see his name on me
as though he is reaching to me
to say I love you man.
I whisper softly
Not as much as I love you man.

A cloud passes the sun
and his name melts from my shirt
On the wall it stays

love you man
A Story From Nam
by
Jude Kyrie

We were seventeen or eighteen in Nam
we became friends forever.
No more than friends.
Soldiers get closer than wives.
We went to sleep saying
I love you man.
We switched letters
For our girlfriends.
In case… well just in case.

The bullets rained
in the clearing that night.
I can still see the tracer lights.
Guys fell down all around me.
Crying everywhere.
Air power cleared them away.

I looked for Joe he was lay there.
I held him close
like a baby as he left us.
His last words
I love you man.
I whispered to him
Not as much
as I love you Man
.
I did not notice I had been hit.
After six months I returned home.
In West Virginia his beautiful girl
Opened the door of a small trailer.
She had a baby boy in her arms.
Her blue eyes welled with tears.
I passed the unopened letter to her.
I lied and said the blood
on it was mine.

She passed the baby
to me to hold
As she read the letter.
I kissed his tiny forehead.
And said see buddy
You’re not dead at all
I love you Man*

perhaps our children are our immortality  © 8 months ago

Returning To the Pack

*Winter nights are when the grey wolf cries,
across the skeleton forest bare of leaves.
Grey and invisible within the resting trees,
ghostly shadows in the falling snow.
Silent and patient wolfen ice blue eyes wait.

The night is calling for me to rekindl with the pack.
For as a woman I am also partly wolf.
Now my hair turns grey like their coats.
My eyes are as wise as nature.
My heart yearns to run with them once more.

I lie as they lie with my belly on the earth
in reverence of its timeless wisdom.
Feeling  its pulsating heartbeat older than time.
The silver shine of my wolfs eyes empower me,
overflowing my soul, with ancient knowledge.

Though human I lie down in the  company of the wolf,
suckling the milk of my mother,gaining her strength
Standing in the rains of her wisdom
Her daughter, Her immortality, Her wolf.

She was a thing of beauty
almost a heavenly vision.
But she could use words
like a razor blade
they cut the skin
and blood would trickle
from the wounds.
when she left me
she was just as cruel.
I hurt to the soul.
I wanted revenge
To hurt her as she
had hurt me.
I had so much to say
a practiced recitation of hate.
but when I met her
the words
Couldn't flow
from my mouth.
instead they poured
From my eyes
in endless torrents

Revenge fail

She was a thing of beauty
almost a heavenly vision.
But she could use words
like a razor blade
they cut the skin
and blood would trickle
from the wounds.
when she left me
she was just as cruel.
I hurt to the soul.
I wanted revenge
To hurt her as she
had hurt me.
I had so much to say
a practiced recitation of hate.
but when I met her
the words
Couldn't flow
from my mouth.
instead they poured
From my eyes
in endless torrents.

The mid-summer heat
seared the sand like fire.
She walked by me
stopping at my Cabanas shade.

May I she asked?
So young
lithe and beautiful.
Of course I say
but the breaking waves
and sea breeze whisper
Danger......Danger...Danger
Beware …Beware …Beware.

I have not yet tasted
the pleasures of a woman.
Can this be the time?
The time for me.

My racing heart whispers
quietly.... softly
hush hush ...be still.
The salty sea breezes
are whispering

Let it be… it’s your time
…Let it be.

Later I writhed under her.
Between heaven and the sand.
My hand holding hers
As she led me
through the door of manhood.

My boyhood left me
draining into her
as I cried out
in its irrecoverable loss.

The waves rolled relentlessly
breaking on the shore.
Undulating to her rhythm

I feel her soft gentle gifts
aching inside my body
is this it .......is this it?
My soul asks

Then the roar
of the crashing waves
on the rocky shore.
The tender moment
As close as two
humans can be.

Emotions older
than time itself.
I hold her
as a woman and lover.
She rises from me
almost shyly
and says
Thank you.

A seabird cries above
Don’t leave , Don’t Leave.
But her footprints
are washing away
in the foam.

Just her indelible
memory remains
Imprinted forever
like a tattoo
on my young heart.

If at first you don't succeed.
**** it
It might be too hard.
Jude

Rome was bustling that year
tourist and locals filling the old city.
She was excited four weeks to tour
Italy it was high on her bucket list.
the fight from Kennedy
was Nine hours but she was here now.
Her divorce was final
the assets split and
she was forty and free.
it had been a hard year
but it was over
she was ready to enjoy
the eternal city.

The little cellar restaurant
was perfect it was nine PM
Romans eat late
and when in Rome right.

waiting at the bar sat on a high stool
she slipped on a glass of Chianti.
she noticed an attractive man
he was alone and giving her the
once over. she still had it she thought.
but not for anything serious

her *** addicted ex had burned her badly.
it turned out he had ******* half the neighbors
and most of her friends.
no she was burned.
but a little holiday fling
well that could be appropriate.

she flashed him her prettiest smile
he took the bait and walked over to her.
hi he said
mind if I join you.
she smiled again
only if you don't get the wrong idea.

he was English his lovely soft accent
was pleasant to her new York ears.
definitely not pushy very gentle
and respectful. she found herself
liking him.

it turns out he was a schoolteacher
near London in a small village.
he was touring Italy on his summer vacation.
she told him of her divorce and the hard breakup.
a tear formed in her eyes as she unloaded.
he offered her a crisp white handkerchief.
who on God's green earth carried a handkerchief
any mora
. He laughed and said my mother
makes me carry one she says you never know
when you may see a lady crying
and a gentleman
should always be prepared.
I liked his mother already.

he said he was Twenty eight
a bit young for me.
but what the heck.
I lied and said thirty four.

he was so gentle so nice
I was getting way too attracted to him.
his lovely eyes grey as steel
and his soft voive. Oh My!

He told me he was single
his girl friend had got tired
of waiting for him to pop the question
and moved on.
I don't know why but I was happy
to hear of his breakup.

he said he loved my American accent.
I couldn't believe it he liked
my new York voice.

it was midnight
I wanted to stay but the bar closed.
I thought I can't let him go
he seemed shy to ask me.
But said look why don't I walk
you back to your hotel.
I agreed a bit too quickly.
he escorted me to the old fashioned
elevator in my hotel

And he kissed me goodnight.
he turned to leave me
but I held onto his hand
he looked up into my eyes.
and I led him into the elevator
and up to my room?

that was were I should have
let it go but he made love to me
gently like a new bride.
I wept in happy joy.
as he stole my heart.
I fell asleep in his arms
and felt as safe as a child
in her father's arms.

we were inseparable
for the next four weeks.
we toured beautiful Italy
and made love in every city.
Then it dawned on me
I was in love with him.
So much in love.

I had to fly back to the States.
my ticket was fixed my job
was expecting me back.
I said what I going to do with you jude.
he said I can't lose you Abby.
I will come for you to America.
he stood four hours
watching the taillights
on the jet fade into the horizon.

three months later

Abby opened the door of her apartment.
he stood there so beautiful.
A rose in his hand.
I got a visa for the states
I can stay.
Abby took him into her bed
and they never left it for a day.

A year later

they were taking a walk
down fifth avenue
the baby was sleeping
in the stroller.
the winter was starting
and some snowflakes
we're already flying.
Christmas Carols lilted
in the distance.
He held Abby close
and kissed her.
saying I love you so much honey.
Abby smiled her prettiest smile
for her englishman.
not as much as l love you she said
in their routine mantra.
And there in the busy street
full of countless people in a hurry.
He walked into her heart
and found a place
where fate had made for only him.
And a home where he would never leave.

Roses are sometimes red
Violets are definitely NOT blue
And if at all possible
I would like to get you
into bed.

She found him waiting outside her small flat
he was in the bloom of the old lamplight.
She noticed the grey flecks in his beautiful eyes.
That had caused her to undress for him a thousand times.
Hi!
he whispered softly like honey falling from a spoon.
She flashed her prettiest smile at him.
And tossed her hair back like she used to.
You look as beautiful as I remember.
She looked at him
for some small signal of remorse
but she could not see it.
He wanted her it was palpable.
She felt his need even in the cold night air.
There’s a hole in my existence he said.
His mouth almost smiling.
The smile that had melted her heart so often.
Why me? she asked him almost in a whisper.
I was never enough before she retorted.
Wanting to hurt him
as badly as he had hurt her.
I did not know I loved you
until you were not there he said.
A sadness glowed in his eyes.
And if you remember
it was you that left me.
Why did you leave? He asked
Because you never asked me to stay
she said quietly.
I am asking now he  answered.
She let him into her flat
They undressed and made love.
When she awoke she heard
the click of her door as he left her.
She knew her heart would ache
Just as it had before.
And she knew he would be back again.
And she would let him in once more.

My heart is Saddened.
Almost in mourning.
For all the moonlight
that doesn't reach me.
And all the fragile
moments of love
that slip through
my fingers like grains
of sand

I know now that is for sure.
Why did no one ever tell me
when I was just a little girl.
That boys with china blue eyes
and long dark eyelashes.
That smell of cigarettes
taste like summer rain.
And whisper words like down.
Are the reasons
my pillow is so wet.
and my poems weep.

Sand in the hand
By
Jude kyrie

I learned as a young boy
that when I held a handful
of dry sand on the beach.
The harder I held it.
The quicker It slipped
from my grip.

I think that’s
the reason my love
that I always
hold your hand so softly
and will never ever
grip tightly

Sanguine in greens

The rain is a fine mist.
Behind it the hall of mirrors
distorted woodlands are olive green.
In the breaking sky a ray of sunlight
shines upon the tree tops of the forest.
Bringing a salad bowl cornucopia
of gentle greens.
all within a heartbeat
my spirits are warmed and joyful.
Now the parched dry earth
tired of the summer drought.
Drinks it's fill
And the plant life reaches upwards
to thank the heavens.
Greens fill up my senses
all greens
only greens.
I teach up and touch
the branch of a cherry tree
it's blossoms cascade upon me
with the raindrops.
in a fragrent hallelujah to nature.
I see my life ahead
the barren wasteland
of the unknown
is refreshed
in soft delicate greens.

Scars
by
Jude Kyrie

No one gets through life without scars.
I don’t mean being
accidentally scarred.
Like a burn or cut from glass.
The other type
Like the quietness that fills you
When driving through Fruitland
With the window down on a spring day.
The blossoms perfume choking your soul.
And all you can taste is her lips
like the day you made love to her
and she tasted of peaches.
If that was all
it would be bearable.
But holding back tears
When snowflakes
fly for the first time.
Or
That playlist fires up unannounced.
Finding her woolen gloves or
Her lipstick tube in the glovebox.
And people say to you
Hey are you ok?
And the words
It’s just my scars showing.
Form silently on your lips.

Remembering is hard to do.
Treading back though lost highways.
Like the old shanty clambar
By the dunes
in the summer so long ago.
The peeling paint and
smoke stained ceiling.
The little square of the dance floor.
.From the Wurlitzer.
Elvis wailing Love me Tender.
You in my arms so lovely
So young so sweet.
You could buy a huge bowl
Of steamers back then
for a couple of dollars.
God I miss you honey.
Why did have to go and die
on me.?
I pull the car into the parking lot
The clambar is a chicken shack now.
Hey it's gloomy as ever in here.
The Wurlitzer is still there.
I dump a quarter into it
Pressing B15
Elvis croons Love me tender
I see two ghost dancing close
On the dance floor.
But they tmight just be us.

Crimson Forest weeping autumns sound
Like a rain of fire the falling leaves
A floral carpet upon the ground
the last light of summer now deceives

In her gentle breeze the summer leaves
I stand alone in my seclusion
My heart cannot ease the loss it grieves
Was summer just a sad illusion

In visions dark the shadow leaves
To mourn the beauty once adorned
To lie in rest beneath the leaves
Grieving warmth of a summer scorned

This shore is where we walked
between the whistling
sands of the dunes
The cry of seabirds
and the thunder of the sea
as it broke its waves upon our feet.
I thought of you as I walked
the spray filling my eyes
like salty tears.
and I know
my days will turn past deaths shadows
and time will freeze the mountains
before you hear
these sounds again with me.

The cool salty kiss of the sea wind
Soothes my cheek in soft embrace.
The sea has taken a tiny moment
away from her countless charges.
Teaming in the ***** of her cradle.
Only to notice my sadness
at the edge of her domain.

Her kiss is gentle soft and caring.
Send me your salted tears little one.
I am your mother.
Give me your grief.
I will take it to my depths.
Give me your sorrows
I will wash them away.
Give me your heart
I will bathe away it's pain.
For my waters are made of such things.
Collected from the first dawn

I stand on the shore of the roaring sea;
And call to my lover she took from me.
All day long she crashes her crest
Against granite rocks without a rest.
He left me to sail the oceans brine
The sea took my love and all that’s mine.
I see his face eyes blue and fair
His loving smile and curls of hair.
All day long she crashes her crest
Against granite rocks without a rest.

She kept a list of her lovers
in her desk drawer
the one that locked.
The one that held
all of her secrets.

The list totaled seventeen.
Not bad she rationalised.
For a forty year old woman
divorced.

she had watched tv dramas
women in her position
had barhopped to fifty lovers
in a year.
but not her.

They ranged from
lovers she needed
lovers she wanted
to lovers who
could not pass from
one night to the other.

But the new neighbor
was different.
he had a daughter
twelve or so.

She had dropped a bag
of groceries the
eggs splatterered
he held her close
saying shushhh honey
its ok.
kissing her hair
Keeping her safe
and comforted.

Her ex never did that.
An hour later he appeared
with two more
bags of grocery.
She felt him watching
her slip into her pool.
She felt his eyes on her.

He appeared with
a bottle of wine.
Can I join you he asked?
As he took his clothes off
and sat in the pool.
Only if you dont take this
the wrong way she smiled.

He slipped naked
in the blue water.
He looked fit and tanned.
As she slipped out of the water
he looked into her eyes
and said you have
beautiful breast.

Blushing she closed her robe.
Do you get lonely he asked.?
Yes sometimes.
I do too he whispered.
Are you lonely now
Yes she said.

Five years later

They laughed as
thier new baby girl
joined the other children
in the pool.

Swimming for the first time
her new baby laughed.
She looked at him holding
the chid safe,
He was so safe so warm.
So much what she needed.

He reached for her hand.
she felt his solid grip.
I love you my sweetheart
he said.
As he picked up her litte girl
I love you too
daddy she whispered.

As a tear of joy
flowed softly
down my face.

She kept a list of her lovers
in her desk drawer
the one that locked.
The one that held her secrets.

The list totaled seventeen.
Not bad she rationalized.
For a forty year old woman
divorced.

she had watched tv dramas
women in her position
had barhopped to fifty lovers
in a year.
but not her.

They ranged from
lovers she needed
lovers she wanted
to lovers who
could not pass from
one night to the other.

But the new neighbor
was different.
he had a daughter
twelve or so.

She had dropped a bag
of groceries the
eggs splattered
he held her close
saying shushhh honey
its ok.
kissing her hair
Keeping her safe
and comforted.

Her ex never did that.
An hour later he appeared
with two more
bags of grocery.
That night She felt him watching
her slip into her pool.
She felt his eyes on her.

He appeared with
a bottle of wine.
Can I join you he asked?
As he took his clothes off
and sat in the pool.
Only if you dont take this
the wrong way she smiled.

He slipped naked
in the blue water.
He looked fit and tanned.
As she slipped out of the water
he looked into her eyes
and said you have
beautiful breast.

Blushing she closed her robe.
Do you get lonely he asked.?
Yes sometimes.
I do too he whispered.
Are you lonely now
Yes she said.

Five years later

They laughed as
thier little baby girl
joined the other children
in the pool.

Swimming for the first time
her new baby laughed.
She looked at him holding
the chid safe,
He was so safe so warm.
So much what she needed.

He reached for her hand.
she felt his solid grip.
I love you my sweetheart
he said.
As he picked up their little girl
I love you too
daddy she whispered.

As a tear of joy
flowed softly
down her face.

Your Secret Love

Like the quiet that takes the prayers
up beyond these golden stairs.
Like the glowing heat of loves desire
that burns silently inside like a fire.
like the silence of a child in sleep
without a sound its dreams it  keeps.
like the silent breath of a summer night
stirring softly sweet and light.
like the knowing glance in a lovers eyes
filled with silent need and sighs.
Like the silent stillness of the lake
waiting for the dark to break.

*is how I give myself to you