i was buried in the backyard along with the dog

our skeletal remains will rot for the next 100 years

our home was destroyed when the 2 people who gave me birth left me here to rot

the neighbors tried to wake me up but there was sort of response

the sirens dwelled while we slowly rotted away on my bedroom floor.

(J.A.)

it's been almost one year since death stared me in the face

it looked down on me

swallowed me whole

and almost ate me alive

i’m basically on the verge of an anxiety attack

i try to pray to a god that may or may not exist

i dread the future

i dread the day i hear the words “i think we should break up”

i’ve experienced those 6 words plenty of times

sometimes i was crushed

sometimes i knew it was the right thing to do

i’m in love with a girl who has flowers for eyes

i fell in love with her beauty

i fell in love with her smile

i fell in love with every tiny bit of her

she’s 939 miles away and i don’t get to touch her skin until next year

but the way she talks to me, treats me, and the way she makes me feel

makes me the happiest person to ever walk this earth.

(J.A.)

i was always afraid to die

i was always afraid death would be slow and painful

i was always afraid i would die young

i was afraid everyday thinking it would be my last day

don't be afraid

death is a part of life

don't fear it

love it

(J.A.)

September 26, 2014 6:25 am
I woke up this morning and went to Facebook and found out someone from school died last night

Someone I haven't spoken a word to in years, even though I pass them in the hall everyday

It was a car crash

This girl was my cousin
Not by blood but by marriage

7:22 am
I walked into school and didn't know what to expect
The sound of crying and grief numbed me

7:50 am
The principal makes an announcement about it and we have a moment of silence

9:15 am
we leave first period and the halls are quiet

10:10 am
I try to imagine what her parents and siblings must be going through
I can't even imagine what they must be going through

September 30, 2014

I wake up and go to school

Go through the day and go home

4:00 pm

We go into the church where the funeral is being held
There are at least 300 or more people there

The sounds of people crying is what made me ever more sadder

Watching her parents cry was the worst part

They then take her to the cemetery

I didn't go

I went that night

So many bouquets of flowers are on the ground

We stayed for about 20 minutes and headed out and I wondered when will be the next time we come back?

(J.A.)

When you get back on that plane I will be scared to say I miss you

Mere seconds after I see your face through the plane window my lips will long for yours like they did for almost a year