She makes me laugh in the way nobody else can.
She makes me smile in a world full of familiar frowns and furrowed brows.
She makes me roll my eyes in a way that seems too playful to be genuine.
I think she loves me,
and maybe that isn't so bad.

She makes me feel at home when I have nowhere to go.
She keeps me warm when even my fortress of blankets stands no chance against the cold.
She makes me sigh in such a way that even I can't tell what emotion I'm feeling.
I know she loves me,
and maybe that isn't so bad.

The girl who taught me that distant family is sometimes the closest
doesn't remember how I hurt her.

The girl who taught me how loyalty comes in a variety of ways
doesn't know how often I betray her.

The girl who taught me how great it is to be craved
doesn't know I never wanted her.

The girl who taught me that releasing your demons is okay
doesn't know I often belittle her.

The woman who taught me that I always have someone to confide in
doesn't know I don't have the confidence to.

The man who taught me to never give up on others
doesn't know how much I've given up on him.

The girl who taught me that some things are forever
doesn't know how often I've wished she and I were for never.

The man who taught me not to trust someone I once held above the stars
doesn't know that, fifteen years later, I'm still hurting from his actions.

"God is love."
Is He?
Because according to God,
the love I feel is a sin.
It's wrong to feel so loved.
Is God love when I write love poems for another woman?
When she holds my hand,
is He love then?
An understanding God accepts all love.
Is God love?

She is five-foot-three,
with an odd crop of brown hair
and a catlike grin
that forces her to smile when she doesn't want to.

She is fourteen (fifteen in thirty-seven- no, thirty-six days),
and makes me think that age might really be
just a number,
because she carries herself
with all the wisdom and remorse
of someone much older than me.

She is perfect
in the most imperfect of ways,
and her dry humor and quirky attitude
can keep me smiling all day.

She is everything I never asked for,
but
She is everything I've ever wanted.