art is a thing
that takes the now
takes the real

and makes it
u n r e a l
supa r e a l
surreal

\undone\

n u p s k c a b

reflected | back

better.

deeper.

and l i f t e d
      h
         i
           g
             h
                e
                  r.

A whirl of a wind
Memories start to spin
A reel of time
A piece missing
It might be a chunk of my brain
Maybe it was fried or never there
Maybe that piece is you
My energy is pulling me in a direction I can't go
Grabbing and stretching every bit of my existence
The resistance alone is exhausting
Consumed by daydreams
Lost in thought
Constantly
Trying
Tiring
Millions of times everyday I've attempted to disband  
The very fulcrum that moves the winding wheel
That ticks and ticks in your name
I'm absolutely in love with it
Even though it's driving me insane

Why do I write when I am sad?
My life, really, isn't so bad.
But when times are dull, cold or blue
When it's the start of nothing new
When work is done and one is bored
When thoughts depress one even more
Words are born- itches in the brain
I write them down, I'm rid of pain.
It may not be put down so well
But it describes what I've to tell.
When my mind sings an elegy
Words are carols for company.

You are my very existence.
You hold my beating, throbbing, mangled heart in your hands.
I am in constant awareness of your absence when your body is not with mine.
I ache for your touch
I hold my breathe between the moments of communication between us
You are my breathe
You are my eternity, you are my dreams and wishes
You represent everything good in this world to me.
I know at times I get lost in my own head, my thoughts seem to gravitate to the worst possible conclusion of every issue.
I know I can be short, and seem cruel or unfeeling
My greatest weakness is not thinking before I speak
But my greatest strength is having you to understand me and love me anyway.
You give me a power unlike anything I have ever felt
The ability to not apologize for being me, the removal of expectation, the freedom and support to follow my heart.
Knowing you are standing beside me, makes me invincible, immortal
For every characteristic I lack you possess
For every attribute I fail to express, you are there to show me how
My teacher, my protector, my lover, my best friend, my confidant, my heart, my soulmate, my fate, my faith, my hope, my partner.

Lucid dreaming is the doorway
        to the unconscious.
So dream.
Do not stay closed
        behind cement barricades
        blocking the moon
        from shining.
Live.
Each second is for you.
The tumbling of life
         does not promise
            anything.
In one breath
you can have
        a time table
        handed to you.
A distinct framework
        of how much
        longer you shall be.
Stay in illusion.
Keep in mind
that very little
is worthy of
being screamed about.
Politics
        and
people games
        are not
         the substance
        of existing.
Picture colourful images
         that flutter
          playfully
            across the
           mental horizon.
A traffic light
      will
       blink
red, yellow, green.
A noise
        will dominate
         the shading sky.
These mean nothing.
Moments of distraction
        soon
         gone away.
Focus on fantasy.
Allow yourself
the freedom to
         celebrate
        the essence
        of harmony.
When you die,
       it will be
         your dreams
         that are
          remembered.
Breathe.
It's just
      a bad day,
      not a bad life.

Why do I sit and ponder and analyze every aspect of this life?
Spending hours and days contemplating my place in this world
Day dreaming of how I wish my life had turned out
Imagining the day that fate will finally show me favor

Why are some people easy to leave behind but others break you to your soul?
Why do we want the ones who don't want us?
Why is that I can't bare the thought of not having you in my life?
Why can't I see the reality in front of my face?
Is it just a chemical reaction that causes the bond I feel?
Is it all in my head?
I feel as though I am losing what is left of my sanity
I would live through a thousand heart breaks to be in your presence
Would endure any pain that may come from this decision
With ease and pleasure
why?

Why do I seem to seek those who take my love for granted?
Those who use and abuse me
Why do I always look for the other shoe to drop?
Why can't I at least have contentment?
Why is happiness so brief and fleeting for me?
Why do I see only certain people through rose colored glasses?
Why am I cursed with an imagination so vivid that fantasy and reality begin to blur?

I  have  saved  some  sunlight  if  you  ever  need  a  place  aw­ay  from  the  darkness