Things seem so trivial
When the words fall
From your mouth
Onto the ground
Feeding the greenery

these walls i once abhorred
i was lookin' for some more
i didn't have the cure
i was sure she was a *****
only knew how to lure
she never held my cure
my cure, my cure

but cured
i'm cured
i'm sure
i'm cured
so sure, so sure

everything is dark blue now
saw this big tree, didn't know how
it grew, it grew right out the green ground
roots through the blades, i heard a strange sound
knew i was on my way, on my way to be found
and then it really happened, it pounded, it pounced
on me, on me (it jumped through me)

like a sorry holy ghost
looking for the right host
trying not to be a big boast
but when you've come to a roast
you can't help but hope for the ****** most
after all, you came here and you chose
you chose the biggest hose
everyone wants the best, i suppose

You hold death in your hands
Shaking so much you can barely stand
Gripping the gleaming, black metal
As you think of your broken, trampled petals
You just stood there as you watched them fall
One by one they left you, now there's nothing you can do at all

That thing
That hangs over us
Watching, eyes wide
No pupils
Just the white

It follows us
Up the block
Onto the train
Through the woods
Down the path
And back again

Sometimes we're aware
Of it
Sometimes we never think to
Notice
But
It
Is always
There

All eyes
All ears
Open your soul
To the tears

Let your heart do the work
Keep your head up high
Wipe the blood from your shirt
It doesn't always have to hurt

Molecules rush to the scene of the crime
The detective in you knows the truth
Move your body slow to the rhythm and rhyme
As you **** the cracks in your broken tooth

Let it all be known
Nothing to show, nothing to hide
You'll be free when the light is shown
So just let the gun hang in the holster by your side

They know what you're thinking
Before you even get a chance
To act on what you're feeling
Paralyzing
All sense of security
They don't give a ****
All they want is what's in your pockets
They view the world with eyes tinted green
It's time to turn this **** around
If you know what I mean
Because all I see is red
So now it's time to spread
This feeling
Time to make it obvious
The feeling is not fleeting
Nothing makes it any less intense

So let's gouge out their eyeballs
Leave them screaming there in pain
Splattered with blood will be the walls
They try to tell us we're insane
But it's just a state of mind
That they have yet to find
But we'll show them
We'll put their eyes up to the ceiling
And turn on the fan

Hesitating, contemplating
Gyrating, second guessing
You
Do
This
To
Me

Ha ha
Ha ha ha
That's a good one
You're killing me here

Ha

It's just the way you said it
The way your face scrunched up
And the little frown at the end of the sentence
You really should look into comedy, you could make some money

Ha

It's your demeanor
And the way you carry yourself
You're a big goof and you can't do anything about it
You were born with a jumbled brain that denies everything but one liners

Ha ha ha ha

You make me sick though
My stomach turns when your mouth opens
I laugh but only because you'll never get the things inside me
I laugh but only because if I don't, then you'll ask what's wrong and then the cycle starts again

"What's wrong?"
Nothing.
"You sure?"
Of course.
"Okay, good."

Ha
Ha ha
What a joke
What a horrible joke

feeling all the marks you left on me
trying to find a way around it
you go about business so happily
i don't know where you found it
i've been grabbing at the roots of trees
doing anything i can to stay grounded

I just wanna hang
Hang out with you
I just wanna hang
Hang in with you
I wanna hang
Hang with you

All these little feelings seeping deep in my heart
The whole is **** compared to all these tiny, hazardous parts
It might be time to buckle down and get a grip
But I've never known how to stop guzzling, and just take a sip
You smile sinisterly as you peer into my soul of souls
You reap the constant benefits of resurrecting these feelings of old

You said your daddy named you
But you forgot his name
He picked up his briefcase
Hit and run was the name of his game
Said you hold no grudge's
But you taste the bitterness

Said your momma worked hard
Broke her back for bills
She raised you just right
After daddy headed for hills
Abandonment creates certain skills
You're so resilient, it gives me chills

Raised in a barn
Covered in chipping paint
Or brought up in a city
By well-off saints
Sometimes it sounds like ill-conceived complaints
But for you, you know that it's never too late

To find yourself
Amongst rotting ambitions and decisions
Armed with will and knowledge
And that trademark precision
You peel off layers of old abrasions
You know you're right when you get the sensation

don't you know that
your light compliments my dark?
and everything and all that
we encounter transforms into something not as stark?

the lights on the highway
pass me by like broken souls.
on my way to you
i know you'll fill my empty bowl.

hieroglyphics and strange markings
up and down your body.
i can't make them go away
but i can make it so you won't see
them as something that's harmed you.

I just want you to know
That when I finally slit my wrists...
My aim is to haunt you
Each and every night
When I call your name
You'll be doused in fright
And you'll feel the same
You'll feel just right
Just like I want you to
When I haunt you

We were always looking for so much more
We never thought things would decay
We would dance but we were bound for the floor
Side by side, sweaty and stained, we'd lay
Never thought that we'd see the day
In which we were so far
So far, so far apart
But now we're looking through telescopes
And ******* brail
Can't seem to figure it out
Couldn't seem to endure this Hell

So now I say
"Just **** it. It has to be this way."
We're done but we've got so much more to pay
Still owe the debt to the dark
Still can't walk without a the limp
Our lives are weighed by our hearts
Our bodies, swollen and floating like blimps
Cursed to roam the world with one eye
Blessed with the knowing of our future
There really is no use to even fight
Anymore, evermore. ******* we lure,
Into our orbit
Attempting to change the way we see
But these are our eyes
No one's attempts to imagine come close the sea.

Then, right then, things went to ****.
Driven apart by forces unforseen.
I'm bloodied, one too many times hit.
My body's weary, too lean to be mean.
So now I'm saying that I'm giving up.
Lost and tortured and stuck in this rut.
No getting out, no leaving this horror.
Planning to take the route of the coward
Cut myself and let my body rot.
So goodbye, my dear, goodbye to you.
Goodbye to the world,
I'm past due.
So now, I'm gonna haunt you.

I was walking
On a normal day
The Sun was out
People were smiling
I was feeling good
Then I looked down
And the very ground began to shake

I crouched down low
My eyes darting left, right, down
A plane fled overhead
I shielded my eyes from the Sun
As I looked up
A flock of beautiful blue birds
As free and as carefree as can be
Mocked me as I struggled to stand up straight

what do you know about yourself?
rather; what do you think you know?

characteristics, attributes, talents...
were they ascribed to you
by you?
or by those around you?

do you feel it in your heart?
does your brain tell you they are real?
do you believe it?
do you question it?

have you ever bored a hole
into your own skull
just to see what poured out?
to see what was actually in there?

perhaps someone did you the favor
to spare you of doing it yourself?
the stuff that comes out, however,
is always different when it is done by the hands of another.

Constant worry,
casual stress.
Unceasing flurries,
upon my heart, I bless.
Nothing's wrong,
although I'd beg to differ.
My life will be long,
or so the doctor's offer.
Cholesterol is low,
nil chance of diabetes.
But on my face, it shows
I don't like to eat my Wheaties.
No matter though,
what they say
my blood shows.
I know where my heart lies
and I alone make the choice to live
or to die.

I knew what you said
I gave you my all
I should have listened
We knew I would fall
But I gave you my all
I fell for your hair
And the way it fell on you
I guess I was scared
But now I'm just blue

And I'm a fool for you
You never see me through
Written off and back on again
Back when a word you couldnt lend

Strap your heart to your sleeve
Like a ticking bomb
You've been pressed to leave
But instead you stay
Gather your gear, it's time to bereave

Leave your things on the floor
Just get up and go
Hesitation's for the weak
Arrive at the horror show
When you realize nothing's for keeps
You legs have a mind of their own
Wolves cry like sheep
And on your sleeve your hearts still sewn

Can't comprehend the process of thought
Things flutter in and out but nothing's right
**** is thrown away before it's ever bought
You're ears aren't as prone as your sense of sight
So just take a second to think it through
Even if, in the end, it's not worth it
Everyone's taller but you never grew
So you accept your fate as it is
You never try to fight

You won't ever win with your mentality
You're so fickle with all your anxieties
You'll never learn, no nothing is registered
Because you're so numb and you float like a feather
I was there, yes I was waiting
To catch you when you left, you were falling
But no one accepts the help
Of the poor boy with no sense of self

Your moldable heart
So many times over
Lit up and torn apart
Like a mined diamond
Dug up and brushed off
So quit your whinin'
You're just lucky
Someone like me came along

I'm way ahead of you
Mentally, emotionally and physically
You're a pretty sad excuse
For a person in such a situation
And there's nothing you can do
But listen and soak up information
Keep playing the sponge
And someday you might get the correct formation

I hold the strings
Don't you see or are you that blind?
There are so many things
To be done, to be had
But you just hold on and take to the clings
And I can't say I'm appreciative
Of the fact that you can't seem
To be anything but argumentative

I'm a ******' gift
Something shiny in the fog
That comes to give you a lift
You're nothing but the bump on that log
Who goes and makes a shift
When she hears a little something questionable
Through your heart I will sift
And by the end your arteries will be bendable

Your heart of clay
Lays lazy and easily excitable
When I docked in your bay
It looked like saving you was viable
But I refuse to stay
I regret to inform of the incoming storm
But I must decline your invitation to play

Heather
              she floats like a
                                           feather
and bends
                    at the knee.

Heather
               just one letter
                                       from
                                                heathen.

Heather
               she'll do you one
                                              better
                                                         and she'll fly.

Heather
               who lives with me
                                                just to see
                                                                

just to see.

She moved without care.
You died when she touched her hair.
Then... She left you there.

Here I go again
Oh here I, here I come again
I've got no right to say the words I want to
But they're the words I need to
So here I go again
Again and again

You once meant the Earth and the Stars
To me, in my head
You were the beautiful white light
At the end if the tunnel
You were my strength and might
Until you pummeled
My beating red heart to bits
Now it's scattered all over the floor
Like so many pieces of a tainted puzzle
And I'm left here wanting more
But you have disarmed me, fastened a muzzle
And I can speak nothing but nonsense
Nonsensical musings upon a schizophrenic backdrop

I feel like world has turned on her head
And my stomach feels sick
Like some hellish, black pit
And now I feel like a ****
I don't know why but it's the way it is
The way it has to be?
Well, I'll never know
For sure, it's the way I see
Things when they're altered inside my own mind
Someone needs to tell me to just calm down
But when I have enough time to think things through
I just want, I mean need, my wishes to come true
Oh, please just let my imagination break through

Apocalyptic grin
Ain't no way to win
Choking on smoke
I'm just trying to keep alive
My body's weary
My eyes are ******
And I see you two times
In the bleak daylight
The darkness surely lies

The reaper calls out
My arms welcome him
As I shout
I walk out on a whim
Someone come find me
There ain't no way to win
Ain't no way to win

Live or die
It's not my decision
Win or lose
There's no way to tell
If I can go on like this
My life's so clouded
Just can't deal with this ****
On a winter's night
I freeze my *** off on the corner
Waiting for my fix
Contemplating quitting this
Pondering a better life
Thinking fondly of a fresh start
But here comes the scythe
With these evil ways, I just can't seem to part

And now I'm stuck
In this ****** little existence
Couldn't leave, couldn't stay
But here I am, here I lay
Here I lie with nowhere to go
Lied and lied
Said I wouldve stopped
But we both know
The truth is I couldn't bear to
We both know the truth
Is something I could never handle
So here I am
Here I go
Here I lie
And it's time to show
It's time to show everyone
It's time to show everyone how ****** up I've become

So ****** up
So ****** up
More ****** up than you
So ****** up
Too ****** up
More ****** and it's true that I could no longer take it
No longer take the long nights alone

Here's to thoughts
Here's to words
Here's to communication
Here's to discourse

Here's to rationality
Here's to logic
Here's to what we know
Here's to the truth

Here's to the wrongs
Here's to the unfortunate
Here's to the let-downs
Here's to moving on

Life is just a thing that we endure
All the hurt, the pain, the deception, the insanity
Is all just a test, it's just a stage
A phase, at the end of which, we emerge
Always victorious, yes, we reached the horizon
But always also, we carry what we've seen, we've heard
We wear what we've felt
These things become our badges
They become our signature
They embed themselves in our very conscience
And no one can ever take them away
Good or bad, always, always here to stay

she doesn't know a thing about a thing but she doesn't pretend to
she dances dumb, can't really sing, but i don't care cause between is glue
she lacks a heart, a brain, a conscience, but it don't matter when we're together
she has no interest in the world around her, but then again nothing lasts forever

Shadows on the grass
The Sun hangs high above
Cars laze down my street
The wind makes that sound I love

It's one of those days
That being alive isn't so hard
I awoke in sort of a daze
My resolve seemed less charred

Now it's just a question
That hangs above like the almighty Sun
But I know that hesitation
Always dots my question-marked fun

i wanna hop in the convertible
and drive down to the beach with you
what we had didn't seem that durable
but when we're getting high in the sun it's true
what they say that when you meet someone
and synapses start firing, you feel the weight
you can't even help but have fun
no matter what our ultimate fate

Is it that you've only got eyes for him?
Your boy is an enigma, save for little mentions
We could, oh, we could, it would'nt be a sin
For us to consummate these emotions
On a rollercoaster to Hell
Not sure what it is that will come of this
But, I'll tell you this, I can tell
Something sinister, this way, hithers

Now be straight with me
Zigzagging lines were never my way
So I'd appreciate
If you could just stay
Long enough
Standing tough
And tell me what it is that's up

A man limps down the street. His right leg drags as his left one tries to keep balanced. Blood drips down from a bullet-sized hole from his forehead to his chin in a thin, crimson line. His eyes bulge and his nostrils flare.

A woman walks past him, headed in the other direction. She is staring down at the cell phone in her hand, furiously tapping away as the headphones shes wearing blare an incoherent pop song. The man halts just as they pass and grunts loudly, hot blood spewing from his throat in the process. The blood paints the back of the passing woman's milky white sweater as she continues on strolling, unbothered.

The man drops to the floor in a heap, blood shooting like a hose from the hole in his head.

11:52PM
In a hookah bar
Drunk
Writing from the heart
On an old couch
Made of leather
In a room filled with smoke
I don't wanna stop drinking
But I'm gonna regret it tomorrow
If I don't
Oh well
****

sleeping through the night
is a thing of the past now
i've been fighting the good fight
but these days i'm not sure how
these aches cut deep
reverberating through my spine
the blood continues to seep
what's yours can't be mine

the pain wakes you up
all hours of the night
at sundown, the moon comes up
and i'm finding hope through her light

devil on my shoulder
angel on the other side
life is pushing a boulder

the older i get
the bolder i become
just a little dumber & i'm set

oh devil where are you?
i know you've seen what i've seen
my life is dripping like hot glue

if the struggle is so real
then why don't you pick up & leave?
with the empathy you love to steal

so where does it end?
and how will i know when i'm there?
my love, to you, i send
wrapped in an old blanket with care
like the christmas presents you got me
and the kisses you generously spread
i was blind but now i can see
it's time to dine on this old bread
it's time to open my head
it's time to burn the skin i've shed
it's time to crash down like lead

I'm not in my right mind
Life seems to just pass me by
I think about it all the time
How fine would it be to feel fine?
But then I shift into overdrive
And I go deaf, then I go blind

Oh how nice would it be
To just be allowed to see?
To be buzzing around like a bee
To be allowed to say "us", and "we"
But sometimes things can't be
Always about me

I know I'm not the center of you
And I know half of what I think isn't true
But when I'm down, and feeling so blue
I never ever seem to find the right shoe
And I'm sure, sometimes you feel it too
How nice it would be, to be rid of this flu

every morning the sun
shines high and
bright
and as i rise
lowly and bemused
at the sight
i can't help but
wonder

all the hows
and whys
like all the colors
in the sky
they seem to blend
together
and never make
any sense
until you decide
to make some sense
of your own

My cycle of thought goes round and round
Prodding at my blacks and blues
Thrown in the ring going pound for pound
Forced to do what I should be used to

But maybe I'm not meant for this time
Maybe I belong to a more tranquil scene
Desperate for a place to hide
People rush by one, two three
Brain waves crash and burn and
No one seems able to discern
All these things
That bother me

And oh my God
When they come to settle
There's never any room to breathe
In the darkness they breed and meddle
I'm prone to crumble and fall
The rope always snaps
Leaving me in this empty hall
With no one but myself

But the beauty in the downward road
The loneliness and the ensuing confusion
Usually feel like a heavy load
But in the end
Things always put themselves back together
Like an automated puzzle
With the fickle will of a feather
So I sail the open sea
Nothing really bother me

My dream is to to live
Live the life Thoreau told me to
To live among the trees and the leaves and just leave
The entirety of the society that told me I live blindly

Because I see everything
The doc tells me I've got me some twenty-twenty
Nothing goes over my head
Unless my body tells me I've bled
Or it feels like my head is being weighed with solid lead

Tell me I'm crazy or stop me if you've heard this one before
I need to get back in touch with the place that took me in
Had enough of the shtick and the schlep of the evil stores
That try to sell me **** and take me places I've already been
Over and over and over again

Oh dear Earth just take me back home
**** me in and welcome me like the son you know
Show me things that I should've already been shown
Free me up from this rigid Hell into which I've been sewn
And let me know its alright to want this

Life blurs before your ****** eyes
Just as they slam shut
A wind pushes you across the line
You hear a whisper hit your drum
You feel your heart beat in your chest
In your warm crimson bath you wait
It makes me want to cry when you think you know what's best
When you've never been the hunter, but the hunter's bait

i am a wound
a wound
on the side of the earth
that it would scratch
if it could

perhaps
i am so miniscule
it does not want to waste
the energy it would take
to ***** me out

for now
i am waiting
waiting for the day
in which i am scratched
off the face of the planet
for good

I'm the thick of the night
When you can barely see
And the darkness
Encloses me
When you most afraid
And things seem too tight
I am there
In the thick of the night
So wrap your arms
All around me
And forget what
You're trying to be
Just remember
I'll always be
Right there
Up in a tree
In a corner
Of your mind

I'm the thick of the night
When you can barely see
And the darkness
Encloses me
When you most afraid
And things seem too tight
I am there
In the thick of the night
So wrap your arms
All around me
And forget what
You're trying to be
Just remember
I'll always be
Right there
Up in a tree
In a corner
Of your mind

I ceased to believe I exist
On a plane so devoid of bliss
For with every forthright step
And each grasp of reality I get
I sink like a ship, just a blip
On your radar, I've been hit
Mayday, mayday for someday
Maybe I will find myself able to stay
But, for now, I'm shuffling, stumbling
Through thick trees and weathering the rumbling
From the grazed grounds beneath me
The Sun, before me, merely setting
And I find myself wishing, wondering
Where it is I am actually heading.

Things don't seem the same
When I walk the streets alone
I change a little every day
Can't really call any place my home
I slip in unnoticed
And slip myself out
I'm just like a ghost
I never make a sound

You don't know me
There's no way you can see me
I don't know myself
So how can you possibly?
I don't believe you
Your words are always falling
You're killing me slowly
But at night, I'm never bawling

I take it one step
Two steps are too much
At a single time
I can't handle very much
So just breathe
In and out with me
If you're not used too it
Just watch me and you'll get it

can't seem to make you mine
cryin' in my bed all the time
cryin' in my head all the time
"I'm cryin'", you said, all the time

nothin' seemed so right
as when we met that night
i could see your face in the dark
you never needed no light

when the facts are shown to be true
the facts are: baby, i love you
but you don't think the same way
blacked out and you're givin' me the blues

you don't have to live
you can die if you want to
with nothing left to give
you can die if you want to
when you always wonder if...
you can die if you really wanted to

things seemed so bright
as a child in the warm sun
my parents would fight
but that didn't stop me having fun
things got so bad
that i no longer cared
i used to be so mad
but now they're out of my hair

i'm okay now
walking this strange line
but i still think of how
they thought everything was fine
as i crumbled beneath
the covers each & every night
i'd hang a dead wreath
on the decaying door of my mind

i don't think about you a whole lot.
and i feel bad about that.
but from the boat which you've rocked,
my boat in the middle of your sea.
we're intertwined, but we're not locked.
you smile and say you mean nothing but the best.
and, with my whole heart, i believe you.
but, the problem is that i believe you.
i don't deserve you.
i'd never let you
let yourself down.

so why don't you take your crown

and find a boy who needs the sound
of your voice.
i've no choice.
i'm not the boy.
i'm not the boy.

I don't care
for *******.
You talk and
I don't hear it.
Blah, blah, blah,
just close your mouth.
Wah, wah, wah,
all you do is pout.

Now
I don't normally do this
And
I wouldn't normally say this
So I'm writing this
The idea hasn't elevated to speech
In my head
It is there
But I'm not sure it'll ever reach my lips
But
I've loved you so long
And
Again I don't normally do this
In fact
I never do this
But
I pray and I ask and I yearn
For the day
When everything is natural
And
We are united under the Sun
Or the Moon
Preferably the Moon
Because the Sun is nice
But the Moon is beautiful
And
If we were to be something
That is deserving of unification
Under such a wonderous thing
The gentle light bouncing off your unreal grace
Your aura radiating through your space
And invading my body like disease
I would probably fall to my knees
And die right at your feet
Because
I'm a sucker
And
I'm a fool
And
I know nothing else
But to buckle at your words
Your beauty
Your face
Your energy
Your grace
Our chemistry
This place
This closed and open gate
This disgustingly fulfilling state of mind

feet don't fail me now
take me to the gates
that divide the sour and the sweet
where good is love and love is what I hate
I don't choose what I pick
it's just always been that way
forever makes me sick
please don't ask me to stay

don't get me wrong
I want all of you
your arms, your legs, your ***
baby, you know I'm always true
my words have never meant
anything more than I put on
nothing less than what I've sent

so please just take it for what it's worth
don't try to read into what's not there
dead words have never asked for rebirth
just do it for me, and I'd appreciate if you cut that stare
those glaring eyes never cease to sear holes
and they never quite, even when you're tired
they simmer hotter than ever when your hearts turned cold

I found Waldo
He was hiding in the brush
Naked and freezing
They tried to **** me
He told me
They ***** him, dropped him
And there he was for the blind world to see

Where the **** was Waldo?
All these years, right here
Ignoring, neglecting, not shedding a tear
Pluck out your eyes cuz they're useless
**** yourself cuz we're all the same

Waldo walked down the street
Still stipped bare, ***** and beat
But no one seemed to notice
How could they ignore this?
They're not what they claim
They say they're looking
But they don't care whether you're *****, killed or maimed