I hate being here
I hate my family
I hate my parents
I hate how they always get drunk and **** every weekend
I hate that I always have to hear it or even walk in
I hate that I get hit and yelled at for no reason
I hate that I'm alive
-I just want to die

I dance alone and countlessly wonder
if you're as confused as I am
I want to fall in love again
I want to find your gaze
and feel violated and connected
and be confused about what it is you mean
and what you mean to me
it's all some sultry dream.
I want your kisses again
I want you in my dreams again.

it has been so long
since i have thought of you
since i have thought of myself
since i have thought of the kiss we almost shared
since i have thought of the part of me i almost gave you
i am glad i didn't
i am glad you're gone
i am not glad to be alone
but i am not alone,
not really
because you were never all i had
you were what i wanted
(read: not needed)
it would've been nice,
it just would've been nice,
if there'd been something
some semblance of a half-assed apology
some semblance of something that showed me that
you ever cared for me
you never did,
you never did,
i'm convinced you weren't a coward
but a fool
a fool for not realizing what we could've been
we could've been magical
jesus we might've been forever,
if forever can live in the hearts of two teenagers who can
hardly hold hands
i thought we'd been forever
forever is not 3 years and some change
forevers don't treat each other like you did to me
if you'd been my forever
if you'd decided one day that you wanted to talk instead of scream
or at least shut the hell up for once (for once, let me scream)
i could've been yours
i would've been yours
but now it has been far to long
since i've considered even considering you a part of me

I wonder
If you think about me
As much as I
Think about you

I wonder
If you could possibly love me
As much as I
Love you

I wonder
If you want me
As much as I
Want you

I wonder
If you need me
As much as I
Need you

I wonder
If you miss me
As much as I
Miss you

I wonder
If you dream about me
As often as I
Dream about you

I wonder
If you reach for me in your sleep
As often as I
Reach for you

I wonder
If you want to kiss me
As often as I
Want to kiss you

I wonder
If you daydream about the things we could be
As often as I
Daydream about us

But most of all

I wonder
If you know how many feelings I have for you
And I wonder
If you feel the same things too

“I went
inside her to
tie a knot.
So nothing
will separate us."

when all of the home, or underneath
the bed, or even throne of dream
  all lay with life of felled bodies,

         — lest I feel forever the joy
              of the fall,

when all scrumptious light bend in
incorrigible water, strangeness pursues
all dark;

    soft, soft,
soft, encircling in cage
   the soft,
soft, aloft hills and dead pools
  of sweat
soft and supple      skin
  raged thud of fragmented name
on walling up lips

        love is man and man's prison sees
to it all silence when everything is set free
and we have no use for them anymore,
    
     imprisoning us, the love–