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It's always my pain which makes me cry.
But tonight it's yours.
BPM
******* this red *****.
It won't stop beating.
Tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick.
STOP!

I take a deep breath which isn't so deep and isn't much of a breath...



Tick.

******
I asked myself,
why am I proud of being a Human being?
For a while I didn't know
I could only think of all the wrong I'm seeing
painted in blood on the ivory snow.

I thought to myself,
humans are weak and afraid of the truth,
we hurt others to appease ourselves.
People use lies in place of solid proof,
for golden trophy's placed on their shelves.

I watched
as people laughed and hurt one another
for something as invaluable as fame.
And as I did I felt guilty
to be apart of a race put to shame.

I watched
as bravery was described as a man behind a gun
killing in the name of "peace"
I saw people hating and judging for fun
because that was what looked good at the time.

I saw death
on the news, in the papers, on the streets
and cried as the blood was spilled
I watched people fighting one another
for a position so irrelevant being filled.

I watched gangs go to war
because he's black and he's white
I saw people excluding one another
because she prefers dark while she prefers light.

But when I flipped to the next page
I saw that they held out their hand
to people in need
They gave their knowledge to those who didn't understand
and take in those that they feed.

I saw a smile in the crowd
when hope was not in sight
and I saw a warring man
put down his gun in that fight.

I watched them build a neighbor's house
when the going got tough
I saw them lend a shoulder
when the days got to rough.

I saw another man preach
when we needed a change
and I saw another one accept
when the other was strange.

We'll never be utopia
no but we can try to be
Thankful for my personal growth
Focused on my routine
Not dating anymore
so money and dont even know it
Not looking for it but doing what I love
Loud music at the gym
Reading while doing my cardio
Taking care of myself
Not being to hard but on the right path
Im writing to stay sharp and focused
The new me is meant to be
two combining
melding ever close

a union divine
hearts sing with joy

one plus one
sweetly blending
so nice the melody
we're all standing on the edge of reality,
millimeters from the precarious cliff of horrible,
beautiful truth.
the glow of our iPhones, tablets, flat screen TVs, etc
illuminating our placid faces.
ignorance is bliss, they say.
wake up!
wake up,
and turn off your alarm,
and flip on the news;
start your coffee brewer.
we depend on the technology.
we live in the the technology.
we live in a computer.
you are not real
and neither am i
but we aren't dead either.
if we can think,
we can exist,
right?
basing this off an existential crisis discussion
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