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I search
                                      for the words

                                                          ­                     I
wrote on my hips;

                                              but
                                                                ­              not another word,

                  left my frozen lips.

                                                          ­                      There is no way to
                                                                ­      springtime,

        the winter,
                   takes her tole.

                                                               ­       I bury myself away,
                                                         in this 3 pillow,
                                           double bedded hole.

Darling, but I keep myself sane.
               I dream of flowers in my hair & the warmth in your name.
    Early July conversations,
                        tapping strings, how we'd softly sing
                                           & were guided to one another's lips
      at the very touch of our finger tips.
                               I always thought I was better than this,
                                                                                                 but
                                                             ­            Love,
                                                                ­              
                                     Your heart is one I often miss.
I think about you everyday, I just dont know what to say.
And I cant let you see,
this terrible side of me
when I can only talk through poetry.
But I put myself through it.
Through tragedy comes creativity,
so I thought I 'd let my feelings flow about an old 'Cat Gentlefolk I used to know.
They exiled him from their loveless land
for willingly breaking its rule again and again,
he was asked to **** love, once and for all
love that moves as silent waves of the sea,
never ceases to move, within the depth of his heart.
He was chained and treated like an outcast,
how could a loveless world understand,
the meaning of his passion, that binds him with hers.
He was out of his mind they surmised
never could they imagine they were the ones insane.
Every morning a grubby voice will ask him:
"Do you still hear the music of love the waves play?"
he was calm and said"I am yet another one, like Prometheus,
this is my fire, I stole it for me, her and all  other lovers,
your heartless world can never ****** it from me,
not till the moment my soul departs my body"
 Mar 2014 John Edward Smallshaw
R
This is the first time I've
thought about him in the
last week or so.
Not thinking of him and
now thinking of her is
possibly a miracle.
I'd think of him day
and night and everything
in between those times.
I'd barely sleep from tears
and around him my heart would race.
Was that honestly what love felt like?

To be honest, I think it was love.
But, not the good kind of love.
Not the love that pours out of Leigh
and not that love that I will endlessly
give back to her.

She makes me want to be a better person
and to reach for the stars,
instead of wishing they'd never be there.

Oh dear, I am quite in love with you.
Do you feel the same as I do?
lol the last line I actually sang as I wrote it because it's from the Arctic Monkeys- Are you mine?  soooo yeah.
I love you Leigh, thanks for being the best girlfriend any girl could ask for honey<3
I'm going on an indoor picnic
Just a picnic for me and you
I'm going on an indoor picnic
While skies outside are grey, not blue

Nothing better than an indoor picnic
Fridge is full of food and lemonade
Nothing better than an indoor picnic
Don't have to look for trees for shade
Inside we've got it made

Just the two of us alone dear
That's the way that it should be
Just the two of us alone dear
An indoor picnic, just you and me
The way it should be...ah ha
Just for you and me

Turn on the music and we'll sit a while
No ants to give us trouble
Just the two of us sharing a smile
No way to burst our bubble

It doesn't matter that it's stormy
Liquid sunshine fills the drain
We're dry inside together
No singing in the rain..ah ha
No singing in the rain


We're both going on an indoor picnic
Just the two us, alone inside
It's so nice to have an indoor picnic
I've gone to heaven and died...ah ha
I've gone to heaven and died
get summer holiday by Cliff Richard in your head and try this ...it's not perfect but, it's fun
You and I are parallel,
So alike that we could never come to a point of intersection.
We shall continue,
Infinitely,
Side by side,
And never cross paths.
In the end my death
will not come sailing on the wings of my own pain
But on the eternal burning misery
of a friends

Their tears
shed as my own
Their broken hearts
become my tattered home

Their misery
seeps into me
Pain engulfing,
swallowing me into it's unforgiving sea

But God forgive me
When this pain just becomes to much in the end
I have crawled on these broken bones
But I cannot pretend

That I wish the current
Would just pull me in
And take this
Life of mine

Because these tears
This pain
Our souls
Are intertwined
Vacuum-sealed in cloudy plastic
Suffocating by design
No claws to tear through
No blades to slice
The coldness of the air seeps through
But no breath can be taken
Peek-a-boo I see you
Creepy clouded faces stare
Known yet quite veiled in circumstance
The harder the struggle
The weaker the fight
Light fades as breath strains
Wishing for pinholes
52310
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