As the light of a crisp dawn
Floats through my window each morning
My first thought
Is if you survived another night.
If you're even alive
To see the prize
Of this glowing sunrise.

Because I can't imagine my life without
Your words
Rolling down cheeks in the form of
My tears
And your smell
Like ocean mist
Blowing in the breeze of what was once a naive girl
Letting the salt harden her
Until she can rust
The bitter world of metal
Which lays beyond.

Because hating the world won't be the same
unless I'm hating it with you.

Because I love the darkness in your soul in a way
I never thought that little girl could.

Because wondering about your safety
is my long-standing hobby.

Because I'm selfish.
I'm selfish and I need you
To continue living
So I can continue
Dying
To save you.

If I could cut open my heart
And have it pour your blood
Would that make you more a part of me
Than the possession of all my love?

Reach inside your chest
And pull out anything but apathy,
So I can see you give
Something tangible back to me.

Rid my body of your toxins,
Sweat you out through every pore.
Until only the sweet salt is left
On my skin,
As it was before.

And maybe it's okay
To still say those three words.
As long as they taste like vinegar
Instead of feeling like a prayer
As they roll off your tongue
Into the always silent air.