In Soviet Russia,

God believe in YOU.

In Soviet Russia,

Kids raise YOU.

See, the thing about lies is,

They just don't make for very good poetry.

Poetry works just fine if the words don't rhyme,

But it's worthless if the sentiment doesn't.

There're always consequences for you,

But when you really love someone,

You'll make consequences for them too.

You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning's crashin' and the thunder's rollin' and the rain's coming down in sheets thick as lead.

Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake.

Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right square in the eye and he says, 'Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it.'

At least
If you're holding
A beer
You can blame
The beer
By asking someone
To hold said beer
While you do something insanely stupid.