I’ll never be what you wanted.
I’ll never be what you hoped for.
I loved you, but you left me… haunted.
And I’ll never be more than the girl next door.
I see the way you look at her, the way I thought you looked at me.
But clearly that’s not true.
Because she has you.
You’ve fooled me.

Here I am waiting for something to happen.
Wondering why I fall for the wrong men.
I see the stars in your eyes, but they’re not for me.
I see the love you give to her.
But I don’t wanna see.
I hate it when you’re together.
I’ve tried to change your mind.
Now it’s time to try to change mine.

There isn’t much I can do.
Because you’ve already said…
“I love you too”.
And I wish I were dead.
I don’t wanna see you with her, I don’t wanna see you at all.
You’ve broken me for one last time.
You gave me hope, but it was fake.

I didn’t want to fall.
I thought that I was done.
And I didn’t know what to make!
Make of who you’ve become!
I’m through playing with you.
I’m through believing in you.
I’m done thinking that there was something real with you.

So, I’m no longer waiting on a miracle.
Pretending like there’s something waiting for me.
I’m giving up on you.
Just like I’ve given up on me.

Do you remember, when I showed up at you door?
And I told you that “I wanted more”…
You looked me in the eye…
And told me that you couldn’t lie…
You said you found someone new,
That this isn’t how I wanted to tell you.

I’ve told twice before, before I showed up at your door.
That I loved you, more than I wanted to.
You said we’d give it a try, but baby, now you’ve told a lie.
This isn’t how I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how to reach you.
My phone keeps saying that the calls and the texts won’t go through.
Because of what she’s done to you…

I just came to say I love you.
You told me you didn’t want me to.
Let me tell you, that’s worse than “I hate you”,
When you said, “you didn’t want me.”
But it’s a fact, it’s not a phase…
That I love you more and more each day.
I tried to hide it, to fight it, to give up on you.
But clearly, that didn’t work.
Otherwise I wouldn’t be hurt.
Or at least not that bad.
But you said you didn’t want that.

I don’t know what to tell you.
You’ve broken the last straw.
I saw you with her.
And realized, I don’t have closure.
You never told me goodbye.
And every time I cry,
I still remember those golden eyes,
Feeding me lies.

You told me I had a chance, that wouldn’t last.
But here we are, it’s been years.
She is still here.
And I’m still haunted by her.
Because I didn’t get closure.

I just wanted to tell you I loved you.
That you were everything that I wanted.
Somehow we ended up here, fighting about you two.
Now you’re gone and I’m haunted.
But it’s fine because you have her.
And I’ve finally got…
Closure

Breathe in, breathe out.
Watch your lungs expand and deflate.
Allow your fake smile to transform into a pout.
And forget about the time and date.

This is a chance for something new to grow,
For you to no longer feel so alone.
And as the air from your lips flow,
You can release your inner moan.

You’re upset and you can’t hide it.
You’re fighting the never ending fight.
Just breath in and out as you sit,
And gather all your might.

Life is dumb, mean, and unfair.
You can scream, cry, and dare.
But you will never be who you want to be,
Especially when you look in the mirror and ask “How could that be me?”

Breathe in, breathe out,
Just for a while.
Breathe in, breathe out,
Don’t be tempted to give a fake smile.

You’re allowed to feel numb.
You’re allowed to be you.
Don’t say what you’re feeling is dumb,
Because they’re brand new.

These feelings you have make you feel so small,
Maybe because you can’t break down your wall.
You built it so high, that nothing can get out.
Breathe in, breathe out.

Open your eyes,
And take a look at the blue skies.
Everything you see is now in color,
Don’t be fooled by those who see it duller.

Breathe in, breathe out,
And realize that you’re only human.
Breathe in, breathe out,
Release your confusion.

D: ays seem to drag on, relentlessly.
E: ventually you feel like you should give up.
P: ersistent feelings of sadness, worthlessness, useless…
R: eality seems to be slowly fading away from your grasp.
E:motions are beginning to get harder and harder to hide from those you love.
S: o, you decide to tell someone about it.
S: adly, they don’t believe that what you’re going through is worth the heartache you feel.
I: t’s okay though, because you expected this reaction to happen.
O: bviously what you’re feeling is stupid and unimportant.
N: ow what?

D: epression sinks in and begins to…
O: verwhelm every sense you have.
E: verything is dramatized and there’s nothing you can do to stop the…
S: ting of words from those around you telling you to just “feel happier, let out the sadness”

N: eeds don’t seem important anymore, you just ignore them.
O: pening yourself up to other people is no longer an option.
T: hey only make you feel worse.

D: eciding to get the help you deserve was the hardest part.
E: very day is a new day with endless possibilities.
F: ocus only on the positive things that happen to you.
I: n hindsight this will allow you to slowly be able to differentiate between the things you have control over and those you leave to God.
N: ever again will I let people dismiss my feelings.
E: ach feeling you have is part of who you are becoming and allow us to be human.

W: hy hold back anything anymore?
H: ow you feel is so important and you need everyone to understand… to become more…
O: pen-minded to the things that they couldn’t possibly comprehend.

Y: ou are worth it.
O: ur lives matter.
U: nderestimated potential shall no longer be a problem.

A: nyone can change their perspective on life, they just need the right support group.
R: ealizing you’re worth it, is the most important thing you can open your heart to.
E: veryone matters.

There are a million little things in this world,
That can leaving you feeling so small.
Like your heart will burst.
But all in all,
There is nothing you can do to change the new you.

You can cry and pout and even shout.
But in the end, it’s the million little things that count the most.
And even though you’re an unwilling host,
The thoughts in your mind are no longer yours.
They belong to the person that locked your love behind darkened doors.

You can try to say that there is another way,
But the million little things in your mind,
Make giving a reason to live, hard to find.
You keep hearing these strange voices inside,
And wonder “How did they hide”?
How were they there for so long,
And I’m just now hearing their song.

They echo choruses of unheard tales, causing you to wail.
You try to scream to let someone know you’re not okay.
But all they do is look away.
It’s not their fault that you are who you are.
Maybe that’s why you’re alone in this dim bar.

The million little things are all stacked up,
And as you watch your tears drip into your cup,
You hear a familiar voice that pulls you out of the void.
Somehow I no longer feel destroyed.
Because I look into their eyes,
And even though I can hear their words saying they care,
All I see behind their eyes are lies.
And it makes me wonder “How is life fair?”

It’s not, and that’s okay.
We all are pushed and pulled in other ways,
But what sticks with us the most are the million little things,
That cause us to wince from their stings.
Like millions of bees,
I’m brought to my knees,
And I weep for all that I’ve lost.
But at what cost?

There are big things in this world that push and tear us down,
And though we all frown,
The big things can be resolved,
Unlike the millions of little things left unsolved.