My heart is simple, my feelings true.
I had no intention of offending you.
Not to shock, neither to stalk,
I simply decided to walk.
My sixth sense warned me not to go
I thought I just say Hello
To silently be a part of your grief
No tears apparent that I could weep.
Words a few, comfort to give.
Basic understandings, that I knew.

My world came toppling at your accusations
That I failed to understand your basic assumptions.

Yes, I do regret, surprising you.
But the greater shock, was seeing you.
Deciding to circumvent, I landed into you.
Not expecting, not realizing,
No benefit of a doubt.

I am the one shocked, I need to take stock
If this is ur attitude, twice I've taken the blame
Suffered the shame and humiliation
Only in loves name

I have heard of people
tasting stars

and I wonder how their mouths
never filled with ash

I have cradled dying stars and
rocked them

as if they came from
my body

dipping my toe into the
waters of the universe

I am a child of flames
no cooler than the

sun

but I cannot taste myself
without surrending to

becoming that ash

He left for good today,
It was earlier than expected and without notice,
Just a voice on the phone
Saying, “He’s gone”.

I went to the place where he lived
Hoping it was a mistake, but he was gone,
Hard to believe,
Difficult to accept,
But he is gone and my world is a lot scarier.

I’ve got his place now and I am not the man he was
Because he made it easier for me than it was for him.
He did this selflessly and with
Joy because I was his son.
  
Am his son.

An honor I didn’t have to earn,
Yet I want to be worthy of it.
So, I have to find my balance
And do what he did for me when it was his turn.

There are people behind me
Who need the things he gave me and
There are people behind them.
Though the shoes they must fill are smaller
Than the ones I step into.

Safe journey home, dad.
I’ll see you soon and we can talk about it all.
Rest well ‘til then

I'd break these feelings
Into litlle pieces
Rearrange them with by bare fingers
Into something
That doesn't hurt as much.

I'd put my soul into the streets
Let it be stepped on by million feet
And still
It wouldn't hurt as much.

I'd take your name, your smile your touches
And put them somewhere in some old pockets
And then it won't hurt so much.

But here I am with all these feelings
And they are not into pieces
No
They are not.

And my soul is still inside me
I can feel it burning, stabbing
Oh, oh, it hurts so much!
And your face, your smile and touches
They are are still here, in my pockets.
Oh, they hurt so much.

So I'll take this mirror in front of me
Break it into little pieces
rearrange them with my bare fingers
Into a face that wears a smile.

And I'll pretend
That it doesn't hurt so much.

It doesn't hurt that much.