suddenly I'm stunned into silence,
as I walked idly towards the cacophony of sound in the distance,
I would have stopped if I've only known what's waiting for me.
I'm now in the midst of it all,
can no longer run from it.
I am consumed by the beauty of him,
he tricked me into submission,
heeding his every command,
enduring every whim of his hand.
I tried to break away.
His ever powerful words slicing into me,
making me bleed from the inside out,
making my heart skip a couple of beats.
Trying to be brave, i faced him.
No longer afraid, i smiled,
"Go on," I said.
The last of my breath drag on,
as he sliced into me.
The edge of his sharp tool disappearing in my core,
then I am nothing.

empty..
nothing..
floating through space..
that's what i am feeling at this moment..
i am here, but i'm slowly slipping away..
losing my grasps to the world of reality..
i'm just another body..
another lifeless being..
just another vessel..
my heart is ticking inside me..
like a bomb waiting to explode..
ripping my chest open..
leaving me vulnerable and misshapen.
lub-dub lub-dub lub-dub
the never ending rhythm..
i so much want to cease 'em..
lub-dub lub-dub lub-dub
every beat of this muscled thing..
only pain to my body it brings..
lub-dub lub-dub lub-dub
suppressing my lungs
denying any air inside..
holding myself in..
pushing my needs aside..
lub-dub lub-dub lub-dub
my stomach is growling..
butterflies inside me,fluttering..
lub-dub lub-dub lub-dub
i will my heart to stop..
why won't this agony let me be..

just want to disappear,
i am a waste of space..
i'm worth nothing,
but a slap on the face..
i shouldn't be here,
i'm just a big disgrace
i should just be alone,
a misfit in any place..

i know, yes, i admit.
i am a selfish *****..
i deserve this things.
for the endless hurting inside,
for the ever stabbing in my heart..

i just have myself to keep..
no one else to think..
just me, alone, forever.
nothing's gonna be better..


'til death brings the dark
who will hold the knife

'"I DO"