It felt to wrong to listen to those songs with you last night.
We’ve both changed so much.
But I feel that I’ve shrunk
rather than grown.

When we first met I loved people
and hated myself.
Now those feelings have inverted
and I live in a constant state of bitter narcissism.

I miss the poems I used to write you
The ones that rhymed and were ignorant to pain
Written in neat handwriting
a parallel to how I saw the world.

And I still love you
I just don’t understand
how the same love can still exist
between two different people.

And it breaks my heart
that the boy who
made me avocado and peanut butter sandwiches
and took me on a picnic in his backyard
doesn’t exist anymore.

Just like I’m sure that
it breaks your heart
when you remember the girl
who would ride bikes to the park with you
after school on Tuesday afternoons.

I'm not sure if I'd rather
live in that world of innocent love,
or move our hearts forward
into an unknown territory
filled with the possibility of separation.

Character development
is truly an undertaking.
Perhaps an incomplete
person cannot develop
another, after all--even
one who is not real.

Our Lady the Sun
A beauty  in shining robes
Casts morning's first light
Far across the pale slate sky
A little rooster crows back

His hands ring in the upper classes.
There, in the morning light, his will
Is forged, bent, as truth, on ruling  
This place, underhand, underfoot.

With shuttered ears divining his voice
The dim pupils see only what is said.
The top hand schools, topples all words
Ringing hands sing the song of fools.

How Headmaster trains on the heel,  
A dagger strikes, the paper cuts
Exalted, his close minded hands,  
See a Czar in the stony swagger,

And the student body, submissively lies
With his feet.  Outside the college
The headmaster is heard. Grossly,
He is their dream and only shepherd.

When you thought you're just a kid
You revel in your youth,
When you thought you're all alone
You realize that you are one being of billions,
When you thought everything is gone
You know there is more to be found,
When you thought there's no home
You feel home in your heart,
When you thought this is the end.
You find that it is also a beginning.

I'm doomed.
*You are not.