i remember
the sun beaming down on my back
as the wind blew through the tall green grass
the hot air creating a sweat on my brow
running through the field to the large tree
in the middle
climbing up high to view the neighborhood
as few others had seen it this way
i remember
riding down the large hills
on my bright green bike
feeling the wind rush through my auburn hair
feeling the breeze rush through my chest
faster and faster i would try to go
to get the feeling of flying
and oh, how i wanted to stay
i remember
coming inside from playing
to hear yelling and screaming
from deep within the house
and a deep, sharp noise, a leg through a closed door
"is this what you want?
did you want them to hear?"
i hoped for it to stop
i remember
my father coming over for easter dinner
and getting a little too much alcohol
and yelling at my mother
for turning us against him
"what do they know?
they're just kids!
stupid, young kids"
i remember
in the corner of the playground
where he used to play with me
a game i didn't understand
and wouldn't for a while
until he got caught
by an older student
and expelled
i remember
meeting him again at another playground
where you asked me
with a smirk on your face
"do you remember our game?"
i lied straight to your face
and told you i did not
but i really can't forget
i remember
the first time i felt ugly
looking in my full length mirror
in my purple painted room
i was seven
and just about to have another growth spurt
and had packed on weight for the transition
and my mother told me it will be okay
i remember
the yellow roses
planted outside the living room window
that bloomed once in the spring
then faced a terrible storm
and were never quite the same again
but they always tried to grow
memories of my childhood home