Confidence is tricky.
Because there’s something weird about loving the way you look at the one minute,
But then you stare too long
And then you regret it.
Then you wipe off your makeup, rip off that dress, kick off your heels.
Suddenly you are in your bed, and you say are “sick”.
I guess you can say you’re sick of yourself and of the way you look.
And you will question the reality of it:
Do I really look like that? Is it just the mirror? Just the camera?
Or maybe it is just you.
Confidence tells you that you look beautiful,
but when your anxiety stems from your want to be confident, it’s tricky.
You can’t control it and you can’t just stop.
Maybe confidence is staring, maybe it’s just owning, and accepting.
Is confidence telling me I am beautiful or that this is the best it will get?
Why is confidence so tricky I ask as I put my shoes and dress back on, and restart my makeup.