If I write him a poem,
does that mean anything to you?
Do you see? There are pieces of me,
I gave to someone other than you.

I think I've moved on swimmingly
I think I am someone brand new.
But if you're seeing me on my worst day,
I have some work still to do.

I can be my own worst enemy.
I can self implode with great aptitude.
But I can be full of grace, and beauty
and forgiveness.

I hope you will be too.

How much of me
is wrapped up in blue?

With ribbon,
and artifacts,
and oil portraits of you?

I know I'll never need you.
You don't need me,
not you.
But there are days when I'm pretending,
you see me as someone you still talk to too.

I'm so thankful you see my heart.
Thankful that the world can turn away from me,
but you will never depart.
I thankful there's a home for you
on the inside of me.
Thankful that for with me
you died to be.

Thank you that I don't have to write with any rhythm.
I don't have to sing in key or on pitch,
and never have to look a certain way for you to love me.

You just do.
And I'm really trying to do the same.
I'm trying to get to the basics again.
To remember there is only One
for me.
It is you. It will always be.
My Lord and God,
the maker of my soul.
The love of my life.
There is no other.
There is no other.

There's a beautiful coffee shop,
I can't wait to show you.
I presently sit outside.
Here I come to spend too much money,
but there is no other place like this.

Monumental moments have transpired,
over the exotic coffee,
on top the perfectly finished wooden benches.

And I hope you love it.
I hope you'll like the sounds,
the people,
the conversation.

I hope you enjoy my tendencies to sing in public,
to get overexcited and to speak in some other person's
high pitched voice.

You are out there.
You are coming.
No matter how long it takes
I will believe in that.

Sometimes I miss you,
though I don't know you yet.
I wonder if you are lying in bed on a Friday evening,
feeling the same way.
Life isn't bad,
I'm not unhappy...
Just restless and feeling as though,
there is something more out there.

But this feeling and I,
we've met before.
And I know all its ***** tricks.
I know they way it disguises its self.
It tells me there's no harm in settling in
for awhile.
For breathing deeply and indulging,
in pity.

I know God loves me too much,
to leave me anywhere unfitting for His kid.
So I hope you are having the same realizations,
if you indeed are lying in your bed on a Friday evening.
Because some day,
neither of us will be doing that alone.

Dear you,
I might not know you yet either,
but this letter will be different.

You will be different

I say that because it is true.
Not because he was wrong, or bad,
but he wasn't you.

You are holy and set apart.
As am I.
You were made for me,
and I for you.
And we will get it right at last,
Oh sweet promise of the Lord.
You have been worth waiting for.

I may not have waited as long as you.
I may have been sloppier with my life.
I may disagree with you and be stubborn
and try to take the lead.
But you will know me
And choose me anyways.

And that is why I will love you,
with a true love that reflects
the love of God.

And for all of that,
and for all that I remain unaware of,
I am waiting.

But I had to write you to say,
I'm not looking.
I am not striving.
I'm no longer searching,
and trying to force things to happen.

I am resting.
And serving,
And seeking...
the face of God

Because you are only to love me as He already loves me.
So, I'm going to the source.
And I'll see you some day soon.
I know you're waiting too.
I know you'll know what to do.

It gets harder to believe
What I once was sure of.
Like me..
and then you.
Oh, the foolish things
I thought I knew.

If we could have a conversation,
without chatting on what's new...
I'd bring you inspiration.
But now that's just too difficult to do.

You are a complete stranger.
I loved someone other than you.
I still dream.
And dream...
And dream about you.

And I wake up feeling unrested,
and thoroughly blue.
Why are my sleeping thoughts
choosing to think about you?

You, a ship I can no longer see
As I stand upon this shore.
I couldn't even book a ticket
If a fortune I had, and I could afford.

What lessons are to come from all of this?
What persons could endure?
Christ only becomes my strength,
my thankfulness.

Pray I remain landlocked upon this shore.