just let me catch my breath
it’s been 22 years and i haven’t been able to keep down a morning breakfast yet
it’s been so long,
i now address you as my friend but please anxiety, stop following me to bed
a lullaby of all our mistakes
the morning birds scream in my face
can i just have one day to myself?
free of anxiety and everything else

Picture an abandoned well
Devoid of water, or an empty shell
After a long period of drought,
Only an echo can be heard about
The voice that made sense is no longer found
Chaotic and disorderly is the sound
An inner tempest is the norm,
Battered heavy by the storm
If you tear me apart, or break me open,
You will see, it's as I've spoken
And my looks, it's not pretty
I look like a sideshow character from the city
Wrinkles on my face cause a perma-frown,
All of love has let me down
Yet I don't want anyone else to feel pain
So from aggression I refrain
For as the sun dawns, and then must set,
To rise again, so it's not over yet
The cards will reset, the tables will turn
And all those that hurt me will have to learn
That I am loved, and the pain I feel is due to sin
I am careful, for the path to life is narrow and thin
I will regain all that was lost, and once again be sane;
I will be filled with life again.

Picture an abandoned well
Devoid of water, or an empty shell
After a long period of drought,
Only an echo can be heard about
The voice that made sense is no longer found
Chaotic and disorderly is the sound
An inner tempest is the norm,
Battered heavy by the storm
If you tear me apart, or break me open,
You will see, it's as I've spoken
And my looks, it's not pretty
I look like a sideshow character from the city
Wrinkles on my face cause a perma-frown,
All of love has let me down
Yet I don't want anyone else to feel pain
So from aggression I refrain
For as the sun dawns, and then must set,
To rise again, so it's not over yet
The cards will reset, the tables will turn
And all those that hurt me will have to learn
That I am loved, and the pain I feel is due to sin
I am careful, for the path to life is narrow and thin
I will regain all that was lost, and once again be sane;
I will be filled with life again.

Arriving uncertain
that I want to be here
or anywhere really

well here is actually terrific
blah blah blah
my fingers are being hijacked

by feelings that don't know
where they are headed
just not just not can't say it

this taut band
snapping

Mollifiers appear don't they
saying sensible hate-able things

misplaced misplacements
accumulate on my imaginary fire

even if it is snail slow this is burning
down the rollicking house

typing in a safe space I imagine
such consternation

or am, not sure yet about prepositions
or today's direction

cardinal things undress
past wanting

I never wonder.
I never doubt it.
Cause I know love, exists.
Because it exists in us.

I have seen rage.
I have seen hate.
But  I know love exists.
Because it exists within us.

Yes, it does.
Yes, it does.

When it seems to have faded?
Somehow it emerges just at the time you need it.

Yes, it does.
Yes, it does.
When it comes to unselfish love.

So never have I wonder(about it)
And never have I doubt it(not once)
Cause I know love, exists.
Because it exists in us.

Each second, each minute, each hour.

I woke up from a nightmare
I could not stand to keep
to myself

you were stretched across the couch
coffee going cold on the table
a half finished cigarette
still burning

you wrapped me up
in kind words that
I could not bare
to hear

whispered into my ear
"one day we will go wandering
and this tiny house will overspill
with dreams'

you are not your memories, darling
you are not the bad things
that have been done to you
you are a fierce flame
that warms my heart

forget them, my love
they are nothing
and you, and you
are everything

I'm going to delve deep into the woods, and let falling leaves land on me.
So if anyone asks where I went, tell them I'm under a dying oak tree.
It's peaceful here.
My best friend's a deer.
Where on Earth would I rather be?