I don’t think they heard me
When I said I’m not okay
No one moved to comfort me
Or light my birthday cake

I don’t think they heard me
When I said “I’m feeling blue”
I was told to “ just cheer up”
“It’s completely up to you”

I don’t think they heard me
My tear-filled wails of pain
Cuz they were soon cut short
By the angry sound
Of my first and middle name

I don’t think they saw me
When i began to disappear
I don’t think they really cared
They said
“Shes never, ever here”

I don’t think they saw me
My withered, cracking shell
“She never eats or sleeps or drinks,
Shes putting us through hell.”

I don’t think they saw me
Standing right before their face
They told me“we’re sick of the lies and
all your tears are fake”

No soul dares to acknowledge the existence of demons
Until they find themselves ensnared by one.

A specter that raps upon the recesses of their consciousness
Pleading for admission

Vowing to eradicate the tumult within
Vowing tranquility
Joy
Equilibrium
Fortitude

Elements foreign to its essence
Elements it possesses not the power to bestow.
Its singular ambition is annihilation,

While the vessel must endure the burden
Of the shattered bastions
Of their disintegrating reason.

Until the remnants of despair suffocate their spirit
And consign them to an abyss of beguiling,
interminable shadows,
Where the sole sound
Is the reverberation
Of triumphant laughter

My gaze ascends from the ground,
My vision, clouded by unshed tears,
My heart, a tempest of fervor,
As I behold her.

Her beauty
withers my self-assurance
and strips me of joy.

My thoughts
throb and seethe with envy;

Her smile, so resplendent
and enchanting
It bears an ominous weight.

Her poise
feels unjustly bestowed upon me,

Her flawlessness,
exquisite.

Yet her gaze remains frigid
and abyssal,
Revealing an existence
that is bleak
and devoid of affection.

I awoke

With little surprise

at the rope

slithering over my wrists

and the chains

laced around my ankles

I look around

Unappalled

by the emptiness

of this space

by the lack of light

that should otherwise be flooding

this vast,

hollow void.

I shout

for help

for mercy

for peace

My pleas

stream from my mouth

and echo around my head

ricocheting off the edges

of what seems

to be the world

expanding

Filling the deepest depths

of the darkest places

I listened

Unfazed

to the faded ringing

of impending silence

and the rise of cruel laughter

and yelps of glee

at my despair

at my sorrow

at my weakness

at my anger

and my hunger

for freedom

Deafened

by my cold

shattered

heartbeat

by my racing thoughts

and the apathetic symphony

that floats through the air

Filled with frustration

bent by rage

beat down

broken

exhausted

I choke back tears

and bite my tongue

I close my eyes,

shutting off the world before me

And I wait

Hoping

to feel a trickle of hope

a few drops of courage

Confused

and disappointed

by the sharp numbness

that filled my soul

I wondered

Will I be like this forever?

or is this the point where silence

will amount

to light

to strength

and to happiness?

Some good things
must come to an end
like the connection
from friend to good friend

People make promises
that they fail to keep
and stick their heads in
where heads should not peep

and their noses by far
are the worst you see

They have no respect
for your privacy

Why throw stones
when you can shoot bullets
at the sculpture of life
and completely destroy it

then proceed to blame others
for your downfalls in life

and to yourself,
Continue to lie

There are many things in life
that you simply can't change
you can only numb
the heart-wrenching pain.

Don't get caught up
in lives that aren't yours.
If it ain't your desk,
Don't open the drawers…