Because of you there is pain in my heart
I wish I never knew
But because of you
I also know happiness I never want to lose

I'm just not the one you choose
It's partially my fault cause I'm the one that asked you to teach me the mysteries of love

Take my hand and jump off the bridge
I promise if you burn it
The soil will be rich
And you're toil will finally reap the seed you've planted
And then you won't have to pretend you have a bandage to cover a scar
You got when he saved you from the car
Only to rip out your heart

I'm a girl of stars not hearts
I shine in the dark
Yes I explode cause I can't take the heat
If you need me to I'll repeat
I'm not romantic and yes I can be mean
So cold it burns
Guess you earned the golden heart
But the glitter was just a collage of art
And when you erase
There is nothing left
You see this black mess
It's just a void
I took my crayons and glitter and gold
And tried to decorate my heart and soul
I'm a girl of stars not hearts
Either way I'm torn apart
But I think I'm good I'll just stick to my golden art

I still wish not to see you in any way, shape or form
But my heart no longer feels the need to conform
To what I think you want anymore
And the chemicals are sent to my brain saying
"baby girl it's ok"
I've fallen for someone else
And greed is consuming me
I want every single piece
I want everything
But I know what I can't have
There are boundaries
And that is the best thing
We will never be
No need to destroy previous things
Cause love can build you up
And love can tear you down
The best thing is
I'm the only one who can hurt me now

I have no motivation to do anything
It's really not showing
I still manage to replicate the perfect student
Romodel human being
They think my mind is on my grades
My mind is set on ending my pain
I'll only fade
I'll only fade
And this time they all know
They just won't give me the help I need
So don't tell me you care about me
Don't even say you know me
If you're trying to tell me you know what I'm feeling
Don't say you know what I'm dealing with
Cause you're not the one who can never sleep
You're not the one shaking cause your wrist is aching for a blade
You're not going to help me so I should drop all hope
I have no reason to live
And the blood drops at my finger tips
Are screaming cave in ....

I want to write a poem
Like a yogi’s meditation
Every minute of the day

Through blackness of my sadness
Red is glory close to heart while
White arises pale and cold

I tried to write a poem
All about the triumph of love
That took me 10 years to write

Despite my fierce suppression
That passion in all its hunger
Realized like turtle doves

I wrote my heartfelt poem
In a trance of deep rem sleep
Feeling the ruthlessness of truth

I must complete this poem
Awake to writing its wonder
Instead remembered this one