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1.6k · May 2016
Fairground
Jay 1988 May 2016
The fairground music played, under the palm trees
And the beggar running around having himself some fun
The sweet song serenade, it was our song to take
So we took it and we begun
Under the shadow of, the ancient Ferris wheel
Where teenage lovers locked lips and hands held tight
I hear the screaming of young love in the summer
Screaming promise you’ll always stay by my side
The gypsy danced, she was just magic
Then she fell to her knees
Her crimson dress, laced with yellow ribbon
Just a penny, for your thoughts if you will please
I see the magic, of the fairground, I see the lost lovers waiting to be found
I feel the passion of those soft kisses, and the fear of the old state ghost train in the fair ground
Maria came to me, I’d seen her in my dreams, her voice, was never what I thought
Let’s just stay right here, under the Ferris wheel and catch those lovers as they fall
We took a ride, through the house of mirrors and as I thought life’s never as it seems
Maria sang to me, her tongue tasted sweet, from the dungeons I hear the children scream
We took a walk, over the sandy streets, where the grains and the earth stuck to our feet
The boys in denim vests, shaved chests, I see the way they look at you Maria
I don't have the looks, but i can look at you with more passion than they do
I grab you by the hand, we run into the shadows of the travelers burlesque ball room
i saw Samantha in her, black laced corset, Little jimmy outside blasting music from his newly polished corvette
I see the way the other women look at me dear, but i'm just tasting paradise with Maria
I’m smiling, you were laughing, your teeth as white as the stars in the sky
Your sweet voice laying over the fairground song, was sweet enough to make a man cry
The juggler and hot dog stands, sit on the arid land, the rust gathers over the roller coaster
Me and Maria I think my dear we could just walk hand in hand through the fairground forever
1.4k · Oct 2017
Snowglobe
Jay 1988 Oct 2017
Walking in circles
You were all i wanted
Just trap us in a snowglobe
Your the only comfort i need
So paupers all line the streets
There destitution is how i feel
As i watch you stranded between them
And you're out of my reach
Pick up our world and shake it up
Snowflakes from up above
I stumbled, you caught me
Are you a blessing or a curse

Two smiling faces
I recognise those people
You were my tornado came and broke me down
Inside this snowglobe
With little room to move
There's no escape from you
And that's alright with me

Look how your eyes glow
Red lipstick so beautiful
When i hold you close in my arms i know
A passion for you i can't let go
So trap us in this snowglobe
Minature people with endless love
We might be trapped forever
I can only hope
1.2k · Sep 2016
Cafe workers daughter
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
The red stained cloth stroked the plastic sheet in a greasy down town café
Sally swept the hard yellow floors, wiped those grease filled walls and washed the dirt away
Put her apron on its hook, took one final look and said “See you in the morning”
Sam smiled as he turned the closed light on and slept until the dawn
The dawn came round faster than a comet in the night his eyes shut then they opened
People filled the greasy café looking for something more than the food that should be condemned
In walked Sally from Manhattan she took her place by Sam
Her daughter slipped in the side door, in search of the ideal man
Sophie was 4 years younger, her body showed that awful well
Her eyes lit those greasy café walls like an angel lit up hell
And the smell of grease around the room turned to roses and perfume
Sam took one look at Sophie and from that day was doomed
Another day was over, my god another day had begun
In his sleep as he lie next to his girl of seven years Sam dreamed of another one
And Sophie took home jail release boys and thugs from the hard estate
Sally worked the café and swept the rooms from morning until late
She’d get home and see Sophie with some **** and say get with someone like Sam
The jail **** drug runner got given the kick in place of another man
One night Sam was cleaning up and Sally cleaned up too
They tired from the day’s work and the sentence of the greasy spoon
"Are you happy with that 7 year girl back home or have you yet got that awful itch
Sophie’s at home why don’t you go see her and together you can sit"
Sam wipes the sweat from his head the temptation wears him down
Shuts out the light of the old closed sign “Sally I’ll see you around”
Sally prays her daughter just finds an honest man
Some kisses in the rain on James Street, a ring and then some babies with some one like Sam
She sits over an empty coffee cup, in some empty coffee bar
See’s her old friend Orion and wished upon a star
Sam’s walking home all alone, in the shadows Sophie stands
Have you ever seen such perfection on those perfectly manicured hands?
Sam’s stood in shock as she placed a kiss softly on his lips
Her face comes from the shadows his hands rest on her hips
Grease mixed with perfume to create something I can’t even tell
He remembers that girl waiting home and knows he’s going to hell
But if hell tastes like this tongue that Sophie placed on mine
Then lord for me that’s fine
I’ll pay the price, do the sentence like a man and do my handed time
In the shadows they discover each other, he never knew she had a tattoo there
Sophie’s tongue rests on Sam’s ear and her nose buried in his hair
Sally’s still wishing in her coffee cup completely unaware
And Sam’s girl back home ain’t got no clue as she’s sitting in the chair
Two hours later exhausted by love and everything he discovered that night
He explored the beauty of the world in the shadows out of sight
In the arms of whom he dreamed of my god my dreams were not enough
To tell me how your face would look when to you I made sweet love
In at 2 he walked back through his broken hinged front door
He see’s that seven year girl fast asleep on the hard wooden polished floor
She wakes and kissed his hard neck and said you smell of sweet perfume
Have you really been working to pay the bills at the condemned greasy spoon ?
He smiles “the grease smelt of roses tonight and I got covered in that rose smelling grease”
Sophie watches the silhouette of Sam and his 7 year loved huddled together from the deserted evening street
Sophie sits by her mother under Orion and prays one day to settle down; Sam goes to bed one more night and dreams of his dance in the shadows down town

He lie in bed next to number seven, hides beneath the covers and the shame
Said as long as I live I know that grease and dirt will never smell the same
1.1k · Nov 2018
Daisy Chain
Jay 1988 Nov 2018
Daisy Chain

Untie the ribbons from her hair
then watch them float down to the floor
She’s stood in front of the window
Her back towards me just for show
and as I peeled off her dress
let her soft skin feel my breath
My hands roll across her pale breast
her back faulters against my chest
But something doesn’t feel right
Her head bowed down, her eyes shut tight
It’s like she’s here but no she’s not
Or maybe she is but I am not
I buy her lots of fancy clothes
Like these beneath our naked toes
I roll my fingers across her skin
Then watch her as she pulls away

And sometimes, in the mornings
When she thinks I sleep
She ups and takes her leave
She opens up her drawers, and in her nakedness
Pulls a daisy chain, and puts it on her neck
then, in the darkness of our room
My beauty falls to her frail knees and cries
With that daisy chain

But I could give you things, that you never had, anything you want
I could buy you jewels to put around your neck over that daisy chain
You want a car, I could buy a car and give it all to you
I’d give you anything I could be your king if you would be my queen
Oh, will you be my queen?

Give you my hand but you turn it away
I give you my jewels and with that smile that you fake
You wear ruby’s and diamonds but can’t hide your pain
For your only true smile is for that daisy chain
And then in the evenings you lay in our bed
And I wish I could see what’s inside that head
When you make love to me, but no love was made
As you only have love for the daisy chain
But if you would just let me in, I could be your king!
Every lover has a past, the longest of summers never last

She looked outside her window
And saw the boy from down the road
Whose family lived outside the law
But she had history with him and of him she was sure
She put her best summer dress on
And from the window to the lawn
Where hand in hand they both ran
Through the wild city streets,
Her ribbons flowing at her feet
Then she stopped him in her tracks
and told the boy about the man
To who she was promised too,
he was older than her but had diamonds and jewels
but before she finished he kissed hand
and said he’d figure something out
as he made his first love to her
beneath the hanging trees in the dirt
and when they were done they stood hand in hand
facing each other on this one-night romance he sighed
I really don’t have a lot to give
I don’t have money like him, but I know how to live
But I got these 2 hands and there’s things I can make
And he bent down then pulled up a daisy chain
As he placed it on top of her naked skin
She held it so tight it almost sunk within her
Then stared at each other and both looked sad
Because both of them knew that long summers don’t last
One day I will be rich, and I’ll come and get you
Keep this daisy chain, and watch for me from your room

And so, in the mornings
When i thinks he sleeps
I up and take my leave
open up my drawers, and in my nakedness
Pull his daisy chain, and put it on my neck
then, in the darkness of our room
I fall to my frail knees and cry
Waiting for him,
With his daisy chain
979 · May 2016
Rosie
Jay 1988 May 2016
Watching all the grey haired men, propping up the bar with the lines of age on their face
Their sordid desires pretty clear as they watch you dance in this place
Your skin is framed right above your knee high boots and below your little skirt
I just watch you from the corner of the bar dancing on the dust and dirt
I see the wildness in your eyes your brown hair flows to your waist
You don't want none of her they tell me, keep your distance or you'll loose your faith
But Rosie, I've seen you running barefoot through the puddles, screaming at the top of your voice
Rosie I don't want to need you like this but you leave me little choice
The way you dress, it's absolutely crazy, like your ahead of the game
And when e fat trucker orders 5 pints you say I'll have he same
When you should have been studdyimg real hard you were always out playing
Catching the eyes of the white collar boys with the beauty you were displaying
Running off in the summer heat, carrying the puddle water that still clings to your feet
Singing loudly, when the lights are all turned out, that must be Rosie the boys all start to shout
You can often see her, dancing in the all boys bar, or getting into the back seat of some random boys car
Wearing nothing, walking along the beach, Rosie tell me why it is you never notice me
I don't have nothing much to give I could be the anchor that grounds you
You could bring to me the laughter you have or the madness that surrounds you
Rosie where do you live, I hear it's a tent out on the pier
Come into the mainland and walk with me you have nothing left to fear
Who's the show for, what went wrong let me find out
Rosie if I could walk with you just please in me don't doubt
I want to find out the ingredients that were used to create someone so wild
You told me two crazy lovers had some fun and then along came a child
So you walk these streets, and never play by the rules
You said people that live there life to please offers well aren't they all just fools
You said I see the way, the old men stare in the bar I'm the one thing they can't have
And if I was only half as wild they wouldn't want me half as bad
Those girls who are never tied down they're the best you see
But maybe when I'm old and grey I'll settle down they they'll look for another Rosie
921 · Sep 2017
Ribbons
Jay 1988 Sep 2017
As i walk through the city night
And think about all that's been left behind
You could forgive me for wondering why
Anything that happens, happens in this life
Mother made me promise not to think too hard
About what everything means and how to read the signs
That make me think too long anout what they mean to me
So that all the time i think, my eyes don't see
Everything beneath me that's at my feet
And all of the pain, in the people who walk along side of me

Walk with me through these condemmed streets, ribbons lace your golden hair
I look across from the old schoolgrounds, there's ribbons everywhere
I don't know what those ribbons mean, to mourn a loss or to hope for some freedom
Ribbons, ribbons, just ribbons everywhere i look
Ribbons, ribbons, just ribbons all around us
So let me take out those blue ribbons, that flow freely through your hair tonight
Tie them around a gate post and let mourners flock by candle light
You will still look as beautiful as the ribbon that once held hair from your face
And provide something we could never understand to the pople who flock to this place

Missing people posters
A face thats since been left behind
People knock door to door
Fromt pages of newspapers
Desperation of an unknown kind

If you walk past door at night, yellow ribbons are hope for those who have no hope
People scream lost names at night, their face veiled by candle light smoke

Walk with me through this strange world
There's sorrow everywhere
If it makes you feel better, tie those ribbons through your hair
Sometimes they are all that we have
To show we still think about those.we once had

When it's all over, when it's all said and done
They fly with the wind, like an unguided dove
Clings to branches and settles there
Let someone wonder what it's doing there
They can find in it their own meaning and let it bring what comfort to them they need this time

Walk with me through these condemmed streets, where ribbons lace your hair
I look to the sky each night, ribbons everywhere
571 · Sep 2016
The door was open
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
The door was open
And from then on I condemned myself
I was lost and I was broken
Inside the store where in the light of day
Pretty women buy new clothes
The lights were out but the locks weren't on even though the sign read closed
I took my chance and lined my pockets with money from the till
And from the window across the pavement watching with tears on her cheeks was stacey, she was still
I raced in the shadows of the bingo halls
Fives flew from my pocket
Landed in a puddle I fell to my knees
Picked one up and then I dropped it

The sirens ran out
They filled the air my blood ran cold this wasn't what I wanted
I used to have a job that paid the bills and filled my rover
Until one winters morning the forman came in and said "sorry guys the work is over"
Then all I had was the clothes on my back and last months money in the bank
Not even enough remained to fill my trusty rovers tank
Things got so bad my wife packed her bags
And headed off down town
Now she dances with the sirens that
Hunt these streets just trying to track me down

In a darkened corner
I lift my blanket over me behind the skip trying to stay warm
Awoken by the screaming and hounds Barking they jumped me like a swarm
I was caught in the glow of the blue lights flashing and hatred in their eyes
They pulled me up and pushed me out onto
the main street and into the sky

And there was stacey
Her long brown hair was still as young as the day we first met
Fifteen years ago I held her in my arms where in the church we were wed
I bowed my head in shame as she asked me to explain
And all I said was

The door was open
And from then on I've condemned myself
I'm lost and I am broken
I'm hungry and confused, it feels like I am over
I used to have a wife, a house I used to have a rover
Until the works shut down and I was left wondering around chasing fivers along the ground
My fingers bleed from scratching he dirt and my skin is cracked and broken
....The door was open
568 · Dec 2016
I fell for you
Jay 1988 Dec 2016
I tried my very best, to give you all I can
I was working in the lumber yard, trying to be a real man
The rain kept falling, not as fast as I fell for you
I told you tell me what you want of me, I’d do anything for you
You just smile while you stand there, in your pretty red dress
That ribbon ties your hair up real nice, I must confess
The thoughts I have of you in my head, aren’t those of a Christian man
But I may confess my sins, if you tell me we can
I will buy you a brand-new car, or at least that’s what I’ll tell you
I will build a house with my bare hands, I’m lying, can you tell
As long as I live on this green earth, I’ll never forget
The way you look, standing by the light beneath the rain clouds getting you wet
I went to church on Sunday, surely that means I’m good
I look down at my working hands, and dream of you … if only I could
I don’t think your daddy would like it much, if I took you out
I would lift you up over my boulder shoulders and we’d run into the woods as your daddy would shout
Drop you down gently, look around, I spend my life living like a convict, trying to figure out
What a girl like you, is doing looking at a guy like me
Maybe you’re a caged bird Maria, and maybe I’m your key?
I don’t have no money, look at where you’re from
I don’t have no running water, or a hook to hang my hat from
I ain’t washed my hair in ten whole day’s I bet that freaks you out
Then your hand ploughs through my hair, the lights go out
In the distance, I hear the screams, of your daddy’s house
In the distance, I hear my dreams, they’re getting closer now
The day’s sun hides out of sight and leave’s us to our peace
And there in the forest, amidst the trees
Your hand became lost in mine, your ribbon touched the earth
Your hair became as ***** as mine, off came my shirt
Then when I’d done those un Christian things, that I dare not speak of
I made a promise to you Maria, who’s skin is so, so soft
I’ll try my very best, to give you all I can
I’ll be working in the lumber yard, trying to be a real man
The rain may keep on falling, never as fast as I fell for you
I told you tell me what you want of me, I’d do anything for you
560 · Aug 2016
Steel Mills Are No More
Jay 1988 Aug 2016
Daniel left for work, late last night
Past the rusty cars and sports hall clubs where fat Eddie Shaw got his title fight
Walking the streets, lunch box in hand, through the hard metal gates where the gate house sits
Through the entrance of the steel mills land
There’s a furnace over there blasting out smoke but is smoke all its making?
There’s some politician sitting in his executive suite always just taking
Like you give your life and blood to these mills but it’s never really going to be enough
When times are good my god they’re great but when they’re bad they’re awful tough
Tonight I saw the steelers come from the mills like a snake from beneath a rock
Such empty eyes trying to read past the Westminster lies wondering how much more work he’s got
Then they fall through the floodgates with banners in their hand chanting please don’t close our mills
I’ve a wife at home, and some children to keep, I’ve got a mortgage, I’ve got bills
Into the Concast plant where Big max stands with sweat dripping from his hand
There’s something wrong, is there a conspiracy, is our fate already planned ?
And little Tommy McCann on his first school trip was told this mill’s where your grandfather worked
They want to close it down, his legacy will be lost, they want to raise this mill to the earth
Maybe in some office there’s a plan on it’s way
But it’s getting too late, save our children they say
And the workers who worked there working life at these works still pleading something needs to be done
Daniel he walked into the smoke of the four queens, towering over the houses and chimney stacks, have you ever seen them
Into the furnace, he shelters from the rain, looks up to the stars over the steel town that’ll never be the same
And he remembers as a boy he’d sit on the knee of his grandpa below the pipe from his lips as he choked
Grandpa rubbed my back, his lips pressed to my ear and told me one day you’ll taste the furnace smoke
You see in this town there’s nothing else around and my boy it’s a done deal
The tracks the trains roll on and supports that hold up the towers are all built from this towns steel
One day Daniel you’ll take your place in the line like me and my daddy before me
And when you have some kids they too will work the mills and you can tell them all my steelmaking story’s
Like when I was thirteen years old and watched a man go cold after getting covered in molten metal
And the way the furnace roars then settles down, the Devils cry from hell
Back in the cold air, on top of the furnace, a shooting star shot past him and upon it he made a wish
My grandpa died, back in 93
although I miss him I’m pleased he’s gone so he don’t have to see
The closing of the mills and the tears in the eyes of all the desperate men
Telling their wife and kids they can’t pay the bills and can’t pay the rent
Daniels sixty three now, the mills closed a long time ago
Sits his grandchildren on his frail knees and tells them of the town that once blew smoke
And they stare at him, with amazement in their eyes,
Daniel’s getting ready for work back at the convenience store but his heart’s grown weary and tired
Long after I’m gone remember the words I tell about the mighty steel mills
My darling grandson keep safe those stories, promise grandpa that you will
They were a sacred land in the middle of a town and they should never have closed the beautiful place down
And now all that’s left of the mills and where they stood is some open grass field
Jay 1988 Sep 2017
Remember how you held my hand tight
On the very first day of school
They told you not to sit with me
Together we broke all the rules
I could feel your eyes upon me
Like you'd stare at me for hours
I'd pretend i didn't notice
draw you lovehearts laced with flowers
And when the bell went
you dashed across to me
This thig between us
this school could never teach us
Plan our wedding, name out children put the world to rights for hours
Walk home through back fields, bend right down and pick you flowers

I pulled the hair back, that covered your blue eyes
Smelt your breath upon me as you leaned in and sighed


What about when they told us you were to go away
Don't worry they told us, she'll be home on saturdays
Catholic school across the city
You beg my parents "can he please come with me"
Without you seconds seem like hours
In your room a library of pressed flowers
When the bell went every friday
You stare from the window
i'm waiting at the gate
In my hand a single flower, a bright red rose just for you
Place a kiss upon your cheek
Walk you home from school

Then the priest saw us, marching hand in hand
Kisses and red rosed, those unholy things are banned
But together we still planned our wedding day
Storm clouds fist, then came the rain
Age caught us up way too soon
Before we knew, again you were on the move
Here and there, everywhere
Straight from school, a different city, university .... and then there was me
Am i such a fool ?

I found myself a job selling flowers on a stall
Tuesdsy evenings put by just to take your call
Laughter in the background distance
"Will you still marry me?" I whisper
"I met this guy and then i kissed him"
Those were the final words you said
Now i sell flowers to young lovers who pass by
Now i sell flowers from a husband to give to his wife
I sit at my stall forever
Your forever on my mind
Open up the local paper, a photo of a brand new man and wife
Recognise your face, bowed my head and cried
Pulled some roses from the bucket
Made the most beautiful boquet and i took it
Laid it at your doorstep
Left a note with it that said

You gave your heart to me, i never gave it back
You've nothing to give this man, that is just a fact
Your passion is my comfort that just keeps me going
If you need me, i sit around for hours
Selling lovers pretty flowers
Still calve our initials inside the wood during all of my spare hours
Draw you love hearts every day wrapped in kisses and pretty flowers
531 · Sep 2016
Maggie
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
You remind me darling, of a dream I once had
I was fishing by the river, with a rod in my hand
From my pocket fell a penny and hid in the grass
and from the fields next door I could hear the children laugh
I closed my eyes and I tipped back my head
Remember when me and Maggie lay together in bed
And the only sound made was the rustling of the sheets
And the cats in the alley fighting out in the street
Maggie told me her sins and I washed them away
Maggie begged me to hold her and like children we played
Unsusre of ourselves or what we should do
I asked for her forgiveness, Maggie said I forgive you
She reminded me of a story I knew
Where the odd behavior or the lunatic and fool
As they danced together in the crimson sunlight
Me and my Maggie hid right out of site
I smile to myself as I remember those days
I remember old habbits and funny old ways
I think of the days when my bones used to work
And my teeth were my own and I had many girls
But these days, my eyes see shorter than they did
And I sometimes think Davey, aint life so ****
The way that person you were feels like an old movie star
And the memories you have of cold nights in your car
Feel so far away but yet they feel so close
And those memories haunt you like a ghost
Until all that’s left is a chair and a rod
And the muddy foot holes in the fields where you trod
And at the end of the day I sit here wasting away
With a rod in my hand throwing penny’s in the lake
Listening to children laugh, to the wind as she blows
Remember thinking will Maggie love me this much when I’m old
525 · Sep 2016
Standing in the rain
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
Here I am jus standing in the rain
I'm 24 years old right now
But for twelve I've been feeling pain
I've often wondered how you feel
Or if you hurt the same
So tell me now, do you hurt the same ?

Here I am just waiting in the rain
I've known you all these years
But always been afraid to say it
Like silence beats rejection
So in silence I'll pray
For you to notice me, standing here in pain

But there I was again waiting in the rain
I told myself one evening
That when it rains I'd say it
I'd tell you how I long for you
And you'd say you want me too
We could walk off in the sunset
And my silence would be broken
I'd hold you all night long
But no words would be spoken

I saw you walk right to me
But by your smile I faltered
The rain clouds guide you to me
Our paths still to be altered
But you leave me here just standing in the rain
If you need me dear I'll be waiting in the rain
498 · Sep 2016
The Junkie And The Monkey
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
Daniel raced some ****** in the year of the monkey
For a brand new set of vintage strings
Beat the ****** real easy, took the vintage guitar
And smiled “hey man it’s just one of these things”
Placed the guitar over his shoulder, like a baby he held her
Closed his eyes and played some chords
With the chords came some lyrics, in the darkness he sat
In the center of Jensen Grand Concert Hall
The ghost on the piano, she preformed a haunting solo
Behind him was a phantom band
In front a phantom crowd
In the pre-warm up show, he rocked the empty old concert hall stand
Outside some kids from Coltman,
Drinking some beer and just smoking some crack
He and the phantom band headed home
Past the house of the Pocatello Nymphomaniac
Daniel walked up the stairs, sat on his chair, pulled out his guitar and played
Next door the neighbors sat with their ears to the wall listening to the midnight serenade
The old boy across the road in Jasmine Street opened the window, to hear the guitar crying
Listening to the sound of the junkies strings and the, silent neighbors smiling
In the morning he was still playing, his fingers red, they were getting tired,
The audience next door exhausted on the floor but, still smiling
Now back to the grand concert hall for his first ever gig, and the posters all around the town
Read Daniel and his 6 ****** strings are going to bring the house down
The local poet society, were reciting poetry to me, empty chairs in the hall, I stand on the stage looking for familiarity,on this day I’ve waited for
The first ones through the door were the neighbors who made love to my music
Tears still in their eyes from last night’s show, they took my gift of music and abused it
And the man from down the block he’s here too he shouted “Daniel this world needs more **** musicians like you”
Fat Shane from Mobile Alabama who’s just come out the slammer on day release to just see me
Soon the hall’s filled with 1200 faces all crowded in this space but there’s just 2 empty seats
One is for my mother who’s 3 years passed and told me son always follow your dreams
And the others for the ****** and the Monkey who lost the race and gifted these vintage strings to me
477 · Sep 2016
Old Friends
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
Sunday morning, should have been some warning, something I didn’t see
You pulled up into my life with your ripped jeans on and said “come and take a ride with me”
The ride won’t be easy, people might get hurt but we’re gonna have some fun
Like with the car roof down and the radio screaming tramps like us are born to run
In that 5 door ford, those summer nights I adored when we would just drive along the beach
Picking up those girls in their short summer skirts outside the bar on Clifton Street
Remember when we pulled up the car and headed into the town
Those nights you knew something was, going down
Remember when I had your back, I knew that you had mine, like two brothers from a separate blood line
I took you home to my family, I was 19 years old you were twenty three, that was the only difference between the two of us, we’re just two unrelated brothers out to have us some fun
Those random drives, those random nights those beautiful random girls and those random fights
The bruises you made from the words that you said, forgotten on a Sunday morning when I went home to bed
And the very next day you would call me, asking when will I next be free
When I’m with you I laugh like all the old friends do, I say you just get me and you know I get you!
At twenty one, the fun had only begun, our arms we matched with the same colored ink
And if I saw a girl I thought I could marry one day I’d always ask you my brother “what do you think”
Out in the love hunting bars, we search for those town girls, it seems like that was a different world
You told me you were getting married, I told you that I was too
I was the best man by your side at the altar, when you told my replacement that I do
Even in the darkest hours, my phone waits for you to ring
The sun comes up every morning, and the birds still sing
My phone gathers dust waiting for you next to call
I thought aint life just a funny old thing
476 · Sep 2016
My Bonny & Clyde
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
The Pit River soaked the Alturas earth, beneath the light of the hospital a woman giving birth
Inside the local bar was a man drinking gin, the church of the sacred heart full of repenting sins
All of those places are lost on me; I keep walking the Alturas streets, kicking the scorched earth, with my naked feet
Just dancing along North West Street
They’re making it harder for me to live; I’ve got nothing more to give
I got a job, what money I make, the government fat cats take and take
One day, I took up traveling, one day I ran away
In a bar in Nevada I found Louisa, and with me she came
We were the modern day Bonnie & Clyde
Her hair more red than any autumn leaf, or those fires from hell,
we spent so long together, we got on real well
Found ourselves in Bodie, where we danced with those ghosts
Headed down to Manzanar, slept beneath the heavens stars it was her laugh, I loved the most
Made love beneath the Klamath Mountains, where my soul, Bonnie Stole
Washed our feet in the Klamath River, packed our bags and carried on
Soon we had no money, something had to be done
When it looked like it was all over, Bonnie showed me her gun
Should have been easy, just a hold up, no one had to get hurt
Bonnie ran the tip of the revolver along her lips then slipped it into her skirt
We walked for days, until we came to Hornbrook where a man on his porch
Caught us rustling in his trash can, in the light of his torch
Bonnie got so mad that she panicked, grabbed the old man and pushed him down
Placed her arms around the grey hairs that grace his neck, took a look around
Forced him through the wooden doors of his home, and said “give us all you got”
The old man he had nothing, her shaking hands pulled the trigger, the grey haired man, she shot
I just stood there and sighed "Louisa, what have you done"
Faster than the bullet that pressed it’s self into the stranger’s chest, Louisa started to Run
Shortly after, the sirens rang out; I was left standing in the porch
Watching the silhouette of my Louisa in the light of the law enforcement torch
I see her reach that smoking revolver her arms straight towards the local cop’s car
Hear the shots run out, her silhouette falls to the ground, her lifeless body beneath the stars
Spent some months, on the run didn’t hang around
But I still dream of my Bonny Louisa, and the warmth in those cold nights we found
445 · Sep 2016
In Her Faith
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
In and old abandoned corn shed
Where men calve lumps of stone
Sitting in some old abandoned corner
Young Johnny sits all alone
See Johnny's wife, she left him
For some Sacramento stud
Now his tears they hit the corn shed floor
While the stones wash in his blood

In a down town whisky bar
Where the drinks will bring you down
Make you feel like you've won the fight
But there's no one else around
Sit's a beautiful woman who has no place to go
But a thousand down town men that want to take her home

But a village by the name of Palmetto
Where the lanes are named the same
Lived beautiful young Louisa
Who made my heart beat lame
And for all the worlds riches now seem worthless
Like nothing could ever rise above this
But when she stands there waiting with those shot-gun lips
My eyes they travel from her jawbone to her hips
She asks me to come in and make a sacrifice
Leave my heart on the doorstep to paradise

Soft kisses in the night, softly and with such despair in those eyes
whispers stay here with me tonight, stay with me at least until sunrise
So i carry the cross of David
For all those worshipers tonight
For all the children with no food to share
or those who've just lost sight

As we walk up those stairs i made a promise to keep her safe
Now i'm covered in her beauty but simply lost in all of her faith
408 · May 2017
If only time stood still
Jay 1988 May 2017
If only time stood still
Then nothing would happen in this world you may think that sounds kind of appealing
No babies born, no humans killed

If Billy had forgotten his lunch
Then ran back to pick it up
If he'd have left the house just a minute later
And into the traffic got stuck
Then he wouldn't have been driving his for
At 15:47 down Chahito Boulevard
Where on that saturday morning
Amy Rodriguez she crossed the road

If only time stood still
Then nothing would happen in this world you may think that sounds kind of appealing
No babies born, no humans killed

If Amy hadn't snoozed that morning alarm at 5:45am
Then 2 minutes later she rose up, slipped into her office dress
And if the rain she fell, then the car would've been a better way
To get her to the working station, that Saturday
Billy's phone rang out, his head bowed down
A big old bang on the hood of his car, Amy lay silent, people gather around
Fifteen seconds later she'd have crossed path to path
If the phone didn't ring oh ain't irony a funny thing, we'd still be hearing Any's laugh

Now all the guilt in the world can't change what's happened you live with what you've got
A second here or there can make a lifetime of difference, something i've never really thought

Now Billy's old and can sit on his porch with grandchildren dancing at his feet
But he lives with the thoughts that if he slept 2 minutes longer Amy Rodriguez would still be walking these streets
364 · Sep 2016
The Boxer
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
I sit down; take a long look at the man staring at me
That man in the mirror, crooked nose, eyes full of hope
In their reflections I see the ghost, of a man haunted by his past
The lines on my face, I didn’t make them
They just appeared, now I don’t have a name
I’m just a man in the mirror
Lavinia turns the gas stove on, My boy with his guitar playing me a song reminding me of when I was young
My bones ache, how can that be ? I thought I was only twenty three, I’m a champion boxer, yeah that’s me but look at my fingers, there all crooked
Photographs line the wall, an old trophy gathers dust in the hall
I hear the guitar playing and Lavinia’s call, you’ll always be a champion to me
What she doesn’t know, is when she’s away I put on a show, reach for my glove, dim down the light, getting ready for the big fight
But the hand doesn’t really fit that glove no more, and those shorts are kind of small, you could even say they were a little tight, I stand beneath the light
I’m ready now, sip some whisky and ponder round, waiting for the champ to come out, this one will be over by the fourth
Go back to the mirror in the hall, who’s this ******* guy standing in my shorts, wearing my gloves that are gathering dust, with 2 front teeth missing
A body too big for his clothes, and that ridiculous crooked nose, gray hair like it’s been gathering the dust too,
Suddenly the light comes on, **** Lavinia’s home, catches me standing all alone a sight for sore eyes
She takes me by the hand, sits me down, covers my pasty body with my old boxing gown, my vacant eyes looking around
She whispers “you’ll always be a champion to me”
356 · Sep 2017
Would You Like To Dance ?
Jay 1988 Sep 2017
Would you like to dance, Louise
The air's warm outside leaves blow down the street
Cars rushing by, vanish into the night
Everybody so busy getting on with their life
Through the steam of the kettle i see across the street
A husband holds his wife
Then there was us ....
I put pen to paper, guitar in my hand ******* up lyrics all over the floor
And you stood silhouetted, framed in the door
Would you like to dance ?

It may sound stupid i thought, but i'd ask you anyway
Put down my guitar, pull you a little closer and together in the empty room we sway
Would you like to dance ?

Now i feel foolish but i loved you from a distance i was granted 1 wish
Blew out birthday candles and now i hold you like this
Together we sway, in this room where no music plays
Sing me a song please, those were the words you said
Rest my chin on your shoulder, get closer to your ear and began to serenade
The music was made

Candle light flickers, curtains are shut but the window was open
Your hair blows in the breeze i can tell your heart has been broken
By the way you hold my hand
You pull back a little, don't think that i'll hurt you because you know i'm not like them
I see tears in your eyes that are yet to be born, my arms are your shelter from the future storms
Would you like to dance ?

It's been a long time coming
Now my guitar joins me, together hear our beat
You just sit on the edge of the bed watching me
And i sing to you ...
"The most beautiful thing about being alive, is you don't know you don't like something until you've tried it" ....

So would you like to dance Louise ?
349 · Aug 2017
Rosa Maria updated
Jay 1988 Aug 2017
Rosa Maria, just an ordinary girl for the city of Morelia
By day she sold hot food to the tradesmen who passed by her
To the tourists who traveled to see Rosa’s culture
Then go home rest her head in the creases of a pillow in a little house in Morelia
The tradesmen they would come and they would go, to her favorites she’d slip them some extra to take home
Eventually they kept coming back for more
But it wasn’t the hot food, they were coming for
Rosa Maria met this man who was 5 foot 8
His smile made her heart beat fast and her body ache
He never gave nothing much away
but met her from work each and every day
Grammar was something he was never good at,
But he talked the talk and that was all that he needed to get Rosa Maria
Then she no longer wanted fun
But some strong arms to keep her safe
The man with the kind smile he ran away
her solace she found in Santuario de Guadalupe
In the coming months beneath the Mexican sun
Rosa struggled along but it was no longer fun
She was with baby, the doctors say
She grew bigger and bigger with each day
They told her 9 months is all you have
Then you’ll hold this baby in your arms
But it’s a gift she didn’t want but was stuck inside
Now these nights she dreams of her smiling man and she cries
The bump that she once looked upon as a curse
Became the most sacred thing tucked beneath her shirt
Her skin stretched leaving less between them
She just lay there in her room making promises to him
Everything that was once easy now seemed harder to do
She placed her hands on her belly and cried
“everythign i do in life i'll do for you
so you can have a better life than I had
I’ll be your momma and I’ll be your dad”
8 months fly and the panic set in, each day she prayed to Mary for him
For the child to who she was a carriage for the last 8 months
Give me the strength Mary to be a mum
She was only about 8 and a half gone; the red stretched lines across her skin were long
Homage to the journey that together we made, before her eyes shut tight each night she still prays
she said I don’t remember what happened between those days
from my body my baby was taken away
Placed in my arms, your tiny palms reach out for me, do I have the strength to be your mum ? I’m just Rosa Maria
There’s a hollow way deep inside of me, a baby I’ve lost but before me I see
He’s lying and crying, he’s crying for me, But I’m not your mum, my baby’s still inside, I feel
The bump she used to carry had nearly all gone
But she wanted it back, there must be something wrong
Once more she cradled her baby in her arms, rests him gently upon the skin he used to call home
Lay her head back, and stroked his soft black hair
Kissed his lips searching for the love that’s there
In a small house with wooden floors and crumpling plaster walls
Dark clouds gather the rain hard it falls
In a small corner of Morelia
345 · Sep 2016
More than blood
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
There's a snowflake drifting down the alley
And it lands In a puddle of rain
The puddle freezes over, the snowflakes growing it will, never fly again
Well, way above the alley there's a flat with a bedroom light on
In the corner of the room was a baby's crib surrounded by a newborn, dad and mom
I lay in the next room, listening to all of your cries,  
my daddy scooped me up in his big strong arms and rested me right by your side
From that moment, we were bonded by more than just blood,
there's some magic tonight in this endless night, you know it's my job to teach you good
I watched you growing faster than that snowflake ever did
We would mess around in the scrapyard ground and you would mimic all i did
I was the biggest giant you were David, you cut me down
Then you'd pull me up with your tiny palms from that ***** little scrapyard town
Out in the street, sometimes I'd catch you looking at me,
I was the hero of a.child who looked up to his brother, that brother was me
It wasn't all easy, you my brother were never all good
But whenever we'd fall out I'd lift the hair from your ear and whisper softly were more than just blood
Do you remember those dark nights when the world was asleep
Pull out a picnic blanket in the middle of our room and make this night, our own to keep
Talking, for hours you asked me how do I make my way in this world
I said I don't know yet but when I figure it out I promise I'll tell you
On your first day of school I sat and watched in the window on the alley top
I watch you walk on by with pride in your step you looked back to me but you never stopped
In my mind you were always one of a kind smiling each and every step of the way
I always hoped that those lessons I thought you, you could teach your own one day
There's a snowflake drifting down the street and it lands on the tip of my tongue
There's some radio playing from the alley flats and it's playing our fun song
There's two boys running down the street chasing around rolling in the mud
One of those boys pulls the other one down and I hear him whisper ... it's more than just blood
316 · Oct 2017
A ballad to my wife
Jay 1988 Oct 2017
When i first saw your eyes
I didn't believe you truly exist
You gifted me a smile
Was there something evoloution missed ?
Came over and kissed my cheek
And the pain i had was gone
There's no words for your beauty
So instead i'll write your song
You mesmerise me !

With every breath you take
I find myself questioning my faith
Your a different kind, no man could create

Do you belive in magic ?
I really wish i did
You must be conjured from
My own wildest dreams

A billion people all over search for the answer
They'll never find it though, The answers within her

And i fell victim of
A different kind of love
I'm a victim of
Your unblemished looks
Come and sit with me please
My sweet Louise
You don't make it easy
For my mind to find peace

I could stare but never see
The darkness around of me
All your magic and sorcery
Has landed at my feet
Get over, get over yourself
You came and made me cry
I never thought perfection exists
Perfection became my bride

Lock us up inside a bubble
I couldn't love you more tomorrow

Each time i look away
You become more perfect
Then when i look back at you
You never fail to floor me

Broken little soldier ... that's your name for me
Let me hold you tight
For all your earthly faults
no flaws in you i see

I'm just a victim of your soft tender touch
Like a bad addiction, i can never get enough
I'm a victim of a different kind of love
Your my one addiction
And i can't give it up
312 · Sep 2016
The angel
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
There's this tiny little place in a big old town
Where chimneys watch over men as they work
Many years ago they were just ten thousand bricks
But soon they rose above us like ghosts from the earth
Some say eight hundred men now walk these roads
Some at night, some come at day
Some don't even sleep they just close their eyes
And some are half dead that's what the folk say
If you're lucky enough when your hands are sore
And you feel you can't give any more
You'll feel sweat kiss your eyes then you'll look up and smile because you've seen the angel of the works
Some people say she ain't real and other men say she's made from their dreams
Listen carefully to the town folk talk they say she's haunted them since twenty thirteen
So many men, they fall down again when they pull themselves up from the floor
As soon as her long blonde hair and her bright blue eyes glide past the workshop door
It could be a hot summers day, there could be bullets of rain, January or even September
But I promise you this when your driving along and you see that blonde hair you'll always remember
She's as rare as an albino blackbird, as beautiful as a velvet black Swan
Whenever I'm feeling down I just keep driving around wondering where has my angel gone.
295 · Aug 2017
I'm only a boy 1914
Jay 1988 Aug 2017
I'm a boy, young healthy, fit for fighting they say
Send me away, i lay watching the stars, drawing pictures with them in my mind's eye
I stare at the moon, and reflect about my betrothed, I’ll make a good husband one day
An invisible string binds us when we both stare at her, hanging in the summer evening sky
I'm a boy, i should not be here! Glance across and see a man 15 years my senior who has my worldly experience twice plus 1 more year, the fear in his eyes as he gazes silently at an old family portrait tells me all is not well
We walk, the soles of these boots not made for this journey, nor were my legs
Through villages and towns, open fields and forests, women and children stare silently ... where are all the men ?
I'm hungry, given my ration and told make it last, my feet blistered and eyes sore, the anticipation just as exhausting as the treck
Rain, she falls fast, rolls down my helmet and hangs a second to greet me before dripping onto my nose and rolling onto my tongue, she is not rationed yet.
My clothes damp but we must proceed, the song of 280 marching boots in synchronised harmony dance with purpose
A rifle rests over my shoulder, the widow maker, so destructive but yet she feels no remorse
Onto the field we arrive, it's all gone well up to now, the sun awakens, birdsong settles in the open valley, butterflies hover amongst the flowers, gently kissing them goodbye whilst a city of beetles play neath the giant blades of grass that falter beneath our footprint
And from the tranquillity BANG, a single bullet propelled from a stream just north of us charges forth with a single purpose.
One returned by 500 then 500 more, men standing, men fell, the butterflies danced away, the beetles retreat, their homeland desecrated by craters and shells, we can no longer hear the birdsong in the valley
I rise like the sun, pushing myself up to gain position, I’m up, I’m numb, she found me! Everything is white but i know not what’s happening
I stare hard at the men whose feet danced with mine, they're further away than before, their mouths open but not a sound emerges
BANG again, I’m falling, my arms aren't working, my legs fail me, it's colder now
The clouds part and the sun finds me, she strokes this fallen soldier upon his cheek, her warmth is a comfort in the chaos that surrounds me
My head finds its resting place amongst a puddle, i hear the faint sound of water as it creeps into my ear and watch paralysed as the water becomes a beautiful blend of brown and crimson
The sound is fading, a numbness runs from the tip of my toes, and i trace it as it finds passage through my fallen body, it reaches my eyes, my eyes close
I can no longer move, the world is black, and I’m gone .....i was only a boy
293 · Jan 2017
The Lovers
Jay 1988 Jan 2017
On those distant stary nights
Couples make love, pull away then fight
Beneath the trees, at the corner of St Thomas square
Boy meets a girl, discover's a whole new world, magic's in the air
Man and wife divorce, then get married again
One hand shake, a kiss on the cheek, maybe we can still be friends

All the lovers rising
From their final resting place
Give me time to grieve for you
before you come back here
I can't do this again

Love games were played, children made
Marriages consecrated, husbands strayed
Back alleys and bike sheds, if only those walls could talk
From up here on this city top roof
Hand in hand below, the lovers walk
Marker pen on the subway wall
All that remains of what once was
Wooden love hearts carved into park benches then over them, a cross


All the lovers rising
From their final resting place
Give me.time to grieve for you
Before you come back here
I can't do this again

I must confess, it gets such a mess when you give your heart to a lover
Who already belongs to another
They live with the lies
Until it eats them inside
And the truth, they can no longer hide
There should be a sign pointing left
Maybe one pointing right
whichever way you turn
stay away, from those lost lovers, tonight.
279 · Nov 2016
My Sweet Louise
Jay 1988 Nov 2016
When I was a boy, I’d watch the rain
race down the window pane
I’d look out into the autumn street and watch lovers hand in hand, leaves at their feet
and I grew a little older
and the days were long and colder
the rain drops kept on falling
and I could feel your beauty calling, I fell for you
look at you over there, your long brown hair, your sun kissed skin I beg you let me in
look at your big green eyes, how I wish those soft pink lips were mine
there have been a million beauty’s
but you just cut straight through me
and your face was just a picture, it haunted me in the dead of the night
in this town I call my home,
I take up the throne I’m the king of kings
and in the bustling bars of my desires, I’m my own victim
there’s no other girl around,
in the streets that scar this town that I’d rather hold
and you must know this throne, I’d give it all up for you
look at you over there, your long brown hair, your sun kissed skin, I beg you let me in
look at your big green eyes, how I wish those soft pink lips were mine
and when you walk out from your shelter,
I just melt, and I see the way the boys look too
just give me one chance ?
sure there are other girls, I cold romance
but you went out fishing,
I was in the ocean wishing, I saw you and you hooked me
my god you’re such a beauty
I wish you could just see my heart weep
I’ve seen your face a thousand nights, a million times and for lips to taste as good as yours well it should be a crime
tell me are you real ?
Let every other boy, have there toys, let every prince, have his war to win, let every queen, have her dream I want nothing else but you
Louise, look at me, I’m just a dreamer all laid out to bare,
you could **** me right now, with a single stare, don’t look at me like that
If I can’t hold you once, then I know this life’s unfair, just look at you …. Over there
In this war where there’s only one soldier, please just let me hold you
And stop fighting, it’ll be alright, let me release the burden of your beauty, tonight
Look at you over there, your long brown hair, your sun kissed skin I beg of you please, let me in
Look at your big green eyes, how I wish those soft pink lips were mine, well they are tonight
And if tonight’s the only night you love me I could die tomorrow, let some other fool watch you, then have their piece of sorrow
Because one night with you louise is all it’s going to take
to let me live unburdened but my foundations will be shaken
I’ve had my chance, my chance was taken, I’ve dreamed of you and my dreams were made, I can rest easy now, knowing I’ve known you … my sweet Louise , knowing I’ve known you.
274 · Sep 2016
Money for your soul
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
Smile, he said and it’ll all be over soon
She forced a smile upon her face
Her head turned away
He thought she loved it too
In a dark lit motel room
Unwashed curtains partly open
Upon her face that smile retained
And with it, the pain of what she did every night
Lucinda from Annawan came
Left school and moved away
The promise of a job well paid
That’s the pull that took her away
But when the factory closed, she still needed food and to be clothed, that’s when things got desperate
And so she walked the streets, holes in her shoes, water in her feet
Stain upon the dress she tried to keep neat, her hair blowing in the breeze
“How much do you think you’re worth”
this guy whispered into her ear
“I used to think a lot, but maybe now not so much,
how much have you got ? my dear”
And so that was that, men would come and men would go
Slip her money and never look back, time passed so slow
By 1984, she saved and saved
Even got her own little place
A child, a cat and bills were paid,
Only because of her body that was worth more than the living wage.
At night she would work
Her boy all tucked up in bed
"you know the score I’ll be home in the morning"
That was what Lucinda said
But in the day she didn’t sleep, she just sat up and cried
At the end of the day she had little money, and in her home she had no pride
With every man that came, they took a piece of her soul
Until at the age of 34 she looked so old
That’s when business was slow, times got hard real fast, like the youth and beauty she took for granted her money ran out fast
Until all that’s left was some hollow shell of a woman, her eyes still cry in the daylight, for that soul she sold for money
270 · Sep 2017
What It's All About
Jay 1988 Sep 2017
You were here
And then you went
Was kind of funny
How fast it happened
Photographs, are all we have now
You left without, saying goodbye
We think we're still young
Turns out we're not
We try to climb tree's
Then realise we can't
And now you're gone
All that's left behind

Is me wondering what it's all about
Just wondering what life is really all about

The stars are there
To give us peace
They told me your one now
Well how can that be
Because i've counted them all a thousand times
And i didn't count 1 more star tonight

So i wonder what is this really all about
I just wonder what life is really all about

So they tell me that i'm not alone
That your soul's still here
Just your body's gone
And whenever i'm down or feeling low
Don't be afraid to speak
269 · Aug 2016
Coffee Bars & Stolen Cars
Jay 1988 Aug 2016
I’d lie at night and dream one day you’ll be mine
Watch you from one of those passing cars
Slowing down to get a glimpse of you looking so fine
Sitting in the window of some coffee bar
Sipping some skinny late,
And I’d wish that cup in your hand was me

I’d dream I was that cup in your hand
And your lipstick would be stained on me too
I wish I could get as close to you
As those waiters do
Who bring your coffee cup
I stare intoxicated, drunk on your beautiful looks

I’d dream I was the person sitting in your company
I dream about you a lot but hey a boy got to dream
It’s the fuel that guides me
And keeps me going when I know I have no chance
Of being the mug your lips kiss, or the waiter who longs for
Something more than a summer romance

Maybe I could stop my car and stare no more
If I sat near you then maybe I’d see
That stolen cars and coffee bars are just places within my dreams
I see you smile but hey, what does that smile mean ?
It’s the not knowing and always guessing that keeps this red blooded man keen
It’s not the rejection that’ll hurt, for being with you might not be all that it seems
Because if I’m with you and your not as good as you were last night in my dreams
Then I’m cheated of my desires, my dreams are all lies
And I won’t know who I am anymore!
So I’m happy being that guy, driving some rusty car always slowing down past the coffee bar
Admiring you from afar and I’m going to dream of you again tonight!
260 · Oct 2017
Lavinia Rose
Jay 1988 Oct 2017
She takes her first steps
As a mother and father watch on
Now they know whats for certain is
From this moment here
They'll never be ready to let her walk
Memories created down small kexby lane
Where the sunshine and rainbows remain
Pushing her harder on the village swing
Blonde hair rushes back against the wind
I hope you take all of this in

Lavinia Rose, there is so much to know
The world is big and will swallow you up
So be careful which way you decide to go
I wish i could be forever by your side
The hardest thing
is that i know one day i'll have to let you go
And figure out this world all alone

Sun flowers on the lawn
Girl we planted when you were small
Now it towers above me like my love for you
Each day you get bigger and i can't do
Anything to turn the clocks back to
when we carried you home
And all of this madness began
Memories of what used to be
Are all that we have
And isn't time the most precious of things
Because we never get enough and that's a fact

Lavinia Rose, oh look there she goes
Independant person with nothing else much
But my blessings and all of my love

You could be anything, and i'll always be your king
One day you know i'll be grey and old
But my arms can always be your retreat
260 · Sep 2016
The woman with no name
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
Green leaves sleeping on the trees
The sky is getting dark but still fighting to stay bright
Sun so angry I can feel it putting up a fight
Trying to hold on
The streets were dry, it hadn't rained for seven days
And there was something in the air that Wednesday, back in July
Empty tin cans crushed under my feet
Half drunken bottles discarded in the street
But I can relate, that bottle is me
The paths I've walked a thousand times
The shops round here with no lights on cos it's way past closing time
It's beautifully haunting when you're walking down the road
But your all alone

I was 22 years old, I slipped into a night club
To escape the cold
I see this girl she's smiling from the corner of the room
Her friends crowded around her and they're all laughing too
She looks over at me, my head bows
Humbled by the beauty she possesses
I look back up and she's still looking too but why
That's anyone's guess
Her long black hair turned green then red with the changing of the light
Walked over to me gave me her hand then i sighed
I receive it like a gift of all the riches in the world

Then her hand fell upon my chest

I never asked her name, nor did our lips ever meet
For if I knew your name I'd walk these ancient streets
Searching once again for your hand upon my chest
So maybe not knowing your name is for the best
Then I can still dream of how perfect you are
In that little black dress, matching. Long black hair
And those Crimson lips on pale skin, or your tiny dancing feet
Holding on to this half empty bottle
that just rolls down silent streets
257 · Sep 2016
Louise
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
Last night i woke up, i turned but you were gone
I sat up in the darkness of my home
As i walk through the hallway to my living room suite
I see you're rose red lips and your naked dancing feet
All the other boys in town turn their heads as you walk by
Our hands they touch as i hold yours and you hold mine
As i feel the breath you take, my hands they squeeze
Then i close my eyes and all i see is Louise
Other boys they come and then they go
Every man in town wants you but you say no
Sometimes you walk through the evening street
And when you take each step even the cobbles kiss your feet
You've left me drained and empty but yet so full
And girl no other woman can kiss me quite like you
So at the end of each day i pray for faith and peace
Then i close my eyes and all i see is Louise
Preachers and heretics, martyrs line the road
Each hone with no purpose nor no place to go
Boys watch from the wayside, in your window to catch a glimpse of you
Combing your silk black hair like only the way you do
Well me i can walk the same cobbles that you have
But the people won't turn and i won't catch a kiss from the path
But you found a travelling boy and knocked him to his knees
Now every time i close my eyes all i see is Louise
255 · Jan 2017
Your glitter pen
Jay 1988 Jan 2017
When I was young I was told
At 22 it's over, wasn't that a lie
At 22 I'm not that old
To do new tricks every day
That keep my soul alive
I see sadness, because
It's hard to tell the truth
When you don't know your lying

So lay down your shield my friend
Write love notes with your glitter pen
Unwrap the bandages that bind your legs
and come with me tonight

It's been a long day
But the years gone quick how do I figure that out
Its so easy to hear the screams hidden in that soft sweet voice, that comes from you
You can't fool a fool
It's been a long day, but don't the nights go quick when you're not awake
So, for goodness sake
Close your eyes ... and drift away

Lay down your shield my friend
Write love notes with your glitter pen
Unwrap the bandages that bind your legs
and come with me tonight
250 · Jan 2017
Sorry
Jay 1988 Jan 2017
My body ran cold, you came and you held me, you stopped me from shaking
the doors are all closed, the conversations grow old, inside, two lovers, but one was faking
the stillness of the night, in my head things aren't right but when you came along I could see
That everything's a mess, in this world so confusing and in the middle, there was you and me
When you held me I cried, in the middle of this night, my head pressed against your chest
A whisper in the dark, as you hung onto my hand, said here's something I must confess

You said I'm sorry now, for the way all of this turned out, at first we were so so good
Then things got so bad, I was a fool who thought we'd last but we should have run when we could

In the doorway, a sleeping man with holes in his gloves, tell me what did he ever do ?
Holding on to you tight, in the glow of the streetlight what would I be without you ?
You just throw away your words like there nothing but there everything to me
You get up to leave, I beg you please don't go but you said "were poison can't you see"
It's been a long time coming so baby let's start running and make it all alone
We planted flower seeds but from those good beginnings tangled weeds have grow

You said I'm sorry now for the way it all turned out at first we were so so good
Then things got so bad, I was a fool who thought we'd last, but we should have run when we still could

Let's bite the bullet, don't say no more words because tomorrow's another day
Then in that new world I might find peace if we have the strength to pull away

I'm sorry now for the way it's all turned out at first we were so so good
Then things got so bad, I was a fool who thought we'd last, but we should have run when we still could  

Let go of me now, I feel the pull of something from my soul
We're still young and tomorrow's a whole new world, today's just a memory for when we're old.
247 · Jan 2017
My Dirty Release
Jay 1988 Jan 2017
I was nineteen years old, those nights were getting cold
I was married in a town just north of here, now those warm feelings are growing cold
When I walk the town in the midnight hours and all I see is hope
I think back to myself and what I’ve become, all I have is hope
I see the drink fueled teachers, the mighty preachers, the paupers and the poets
I see the people who know me better than I do, and my god don’t they know it
They whisper you’re hiding now, and don’t be afraid to show it
There’s a girl walking through me, and we breathe the same air
She dances through my thoughts, like a mysterious, dangerous nightmare
Because a ring that binds my finger, keeps me from straying
And in the breaze beneath the church tower, she stood, her red dress swaying

I walk inside, from my thoughts again, I try to hide
I go to church to see, the devil and the priest
The priest grants me his blessings
And the devil throws me out, to my ***** release

I always thought I was a good man, but I no longer know what I think
I was always pretending to do good things, then into the devil I sink
I was too young to marry and now I must carry this gold that weighs me down
Sitting up on the hill watching my release wonder, our tiny town
Maybe if I’d have listened a little more at school
I wouldn’t be such a fool
The taste of chocolate is so good but they say it’s bad
You look so fine, in my minds eye, I must be mad
There’s an apple waiting at home, for me
But I keep tasting chocolate on your lips, that are forever sweet
again I go to church one morning, to confess my sins
Three knocks on the hard-wooden door, the devil lets me in
And you’re waiting outside to see if I’m alright
Still beautiful in the breeze
Ten minutes later the devil throws me to the warm embrace of my ***** release
246 · Jan 2017
Baby blues.
Jay 1988 Jan 2017
Look what we've got, what we've made
I'm a little scared but together we'll make it
Baby blue, painted on the wall
Baby blues, that's all

Am I strong enough ? Or what you want ?
What if im not ?, what if I can't?
It's on the radio, our teenage love song
You've lost that teenage smile, where's it gone ?
I'll fetch it for you, but we must go together
I'll try to hold you up until it gets better
Baby blue, painted on the wall
Baby blues, that's all

The door bell rings, didn't hear a sound
The days go somewhere, but the clock stopped spinning around
I find you're lost, in your own house
Looking all around trying to figure it out
Baby blue, painted on the wall
Baby blues, that's all
244 · Dec 2016
Up In The Tree's
Jay 1988 Dec 2016
Holding hands together, three years old
in your hands on a winters night I find my warmth in the cold
We grew up on the same street, a few doors away;
we were almost the same in age you know but for a single day
They say we were made to be forever, even when we were young
sitting on the hole filled carpet playing little games, just childish fun
And when your tiny mouth smiled, I smiled too,
and when you used to laugh a lot, I laughed back at you
On the summer days at 7 years old, we’d build houses in the trees
And the folk from down the street would watch from their windows and whisper have you seen him with Louise ?
I held out my hand to pull you up, when you’re dress caught a nail and you became all stuck
You told me I’m your hero, I’ll could save the world,
But you were my princess in a castle, you’re a damsel girl
And I can rescue you from all the nails in the wood, my god, our friendship was so beautifully good
but I knew and you knew too…..
And when my parents divorced back in 83
you walked the 2 door walk to hold my tears and in your tiny arms you cradled me
You whispered life is strange and these things happen, it throws you a bad deal now and again
But I’ll always be here to pick you up, and boy there’s no shame in crying
In the school halls there were others, but that’s when I really knew
that in my heart you were the only one , in my heart there’s only room for you!
Together in class together we would sit, you in your pretty blue dress
I still hold my breath, my eyes smile at you and I’m longing to confess
and from the corner of my eye just now and again
I’d watch as you roll the tip across your lips of your blue inked pen
How I wish my tongue could roll across your rose red lips,
daydreaming of how I caught you in my arms on that day you slipped
still wondering just how you feel

And every so often you look at me Louise, with a smile so soft and sweet
I long to be five years old again rolling the red ball down the evening street
I see how the other boys in this school
Look at you the same way I do
And I get awful scared, that you’ll run off with one of them
then my soul will never be the same
In the backseat of your parents car, when we were 9 years old
Forever friends together we’ll stay, the promises you made and told
Now we’re 18  and known each other for so long
Are these thoughts of you really that wrong
Because I’ve loved you forever and wrote you cryptic love songs
Waiting for you to decode them
Do you remember many years ago at the Independence Day party?
My dreams came true as I drove you in my car, Louise you went there with me
your tiny dress wrapping up your perfect skin
I wished for only one second, the war with my feelings I could win
The others dance around us in the room, my heart was taken, my love was doomed
And when I held you, like a baby i trembled
Are we dancing ……………. are we moving,  
I looked into your eyes my friend I told you, love would always win
The last time I kissed you, was at my party way back when we were ten
We could be the same person, we know each other so well
We’re just so fitting together that much you can tell
And our lips touched in that room beneath the pale blue moon
And our song on the speakers was playing

We found the tree house we built when we were seven
It’s the spot I saved for a little piece of heaven
we did those things that young lovers do in the place our tiny hands created
So the tree house we made when we were young
Became the place I was laying when my faith begun
And the journey we both took to get to this place
Were the concrete foundations to keep us safe
But I’ll never forget that July night, when in my arms you rested so i held you tight
And below the leaves of the house in the trees,
I kissed your lips my sweet Louise
243 · Aug 2016
Baby Blues
Jay 1988 Aug 2016
Will you tell me please my darling, what have I done
Will you tell me is it those words I spoke, tell me what’s wrong
We’ve been holding hands now for six years, and seven days
Will you tell me sweetheart, has our love ran away
You just stood there standing in your evening gown, just walking these walls of our old town house
And the only thing you tell me now is that you’re filled with doubt, and you don’t know where to go
You see before there was only you and me, then you gave birth and it was so sweet
But it left you confused and needing me, but you didn’t tell me how you feel
So I pulled out the wooden chair,
took hold of your hand and guided you there
Sat you down and told you my ears are now yours
You said some days I just don’t want to get up, some days I’m happy, others I’ve had enough
When I look in the mirror I’m a little lost, and I just want to close my eyes
And when you’re there it’s really great but in those evening when it’s dark and it’s getting late
There’s a baby she’s screaming for something to eat and I’ve not yet found my own feet
And for these feelings I have do they make me bad
I’m the mother you are the dad
But does that mean we now forget all the fun we had, before we settled down
It feels like these four walls are now my life, but your my husband and I’m your wife
And you’re not strong enough to hold the tears I cry so I just keep on going on
Then you stand up and give me a smile
I kiss your head and tell you it might take a while
But anything you ever need, darling come see me
The very next day you were singing around, dancing with our baby ******* the ground
Laughing and smiling, I love that sound,
baby look at you both, now you’re fixed You told me you were never broken
It’s not a condition I have that’s been diagnosed It’s just I feel a little heart broken
And I don’t know what for, because it’s still you I adore
I just need to feel like me again, instead of sitting here I should be out in the rain
Breathing the air from the world and washing away the pain
So when I’m down, when I’m in a mood, when I say some things that hurt and I shout at you
It’s because the clocks still ticking but time don’t move
And I just want you to hold me in your arms
242 · Sep 2016
The Confession
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
Burning candles and red painted wood, in the corner of the room
That’s where the stolen bar stool stood, that’s where you sit every night
Just playing with your guitar, in your long red gypsy skirt, encased in candle smoke and red painted wood
You invited me back to yours, never told me what for, for that you left my mind guessing
But I see you see the way I look at you; I guess this is my confession
In the kitchen sink, pots are collecting dust; i sort of figured you don’t have much company
On the floor the clothes you wore yesterday, laid out like an epiphany of what’s to be
You’re brown eyes, they saw me looking, then you walked over to me
You could have walked forever; you could have cut straight through me
With each step you take, your clothes slipped off, until all you wore was that red laced thong
Still lingering in the air was your guitar song and my confession
The window partly open, I smelt the pine trees, felt the autumn breeze
My hands wrapped around your waist so hard, you let out a beautiful scream
That never came out, your lips rode across my body, I was your highway, you were a lost passenger trying to find your way home so throughout the night you rode me
My hard hands were scarred, from the years of work and drinking games I’d played, the sun turned out her light, I shut the blinds, my hands ventured to the air between your thighs as on the bed you laid
Her bare breast left nothing much to the imagination, my fingers rolled across them; I’m just a red blooded male here to fill my obligations
She opened herself to me so I let myself in, the sweat poured from my forehead straight to her skin,
I kissed her feet; my tongue stroked her legs, and then ventured back to her bare chest
On the way her mouth opened her sweet neck tipped straight back
Exposing the whiteness beneath her chin and in my hands was her hair, a beautiful jet black
And in that moment, her white skin felt so soft, as we lay and touch each other tenderly
Then she mentioned something about us being forever, I got dressed and took my leave
I’m just a ******* red blooded man trying to fill my boots, not looking for committed relations
I left that woman lying on the bed, remembering all of my confessions
She could be there, a long, long time
242 · Dec 2016
Maddison Avenue
Jay 1988 Dec 2016
September came, and in the heat outside I hear the shouting of the children playing
Toy soldiers on the loose, the cops were chasing
in the shelter of the porch the poets were playing games
On Maddison Avenue

These streets don’t change; I’ve lived here since 14 years’ old
My father told me beneath the cobbles, a mine is filled with gold
I spent my childhood digging for something that was never there
While my mother watched on, with such despair
On Maddison Avenue

Woke up one night, and I took a walk to the window, whatever it was I saw, I don’t know
But it looked so familiar to me
Two lovers locked, inside their first ever kiss
It lasted a minute or two longer than it probably should have I guess
But who am I to judge,
On Madison Avenue

A house up for sale, a house here is brought, over the garden fence a war is fought
teenage lovers rolling on the porch, and the party’s over
Music is playing from number seventy-four, there are footsteps tapping across the old floor
The first love’s boy parents aren’t home any more, the girl she falls through the door and the lights inside sleep
On Maddison Avenue

A red ford rolls by, and into the outside steps a handsome guy, on his arm a girl with a spark in her eye, and I listened to the engine die
Up the path, to the door that read seventy four, the back window opens, from the top floor
of the house on Maddison Avenue

In her white dress she shone, fell to the ground like a shooting star, some lovesick boy blows kisses into the garden, then dashes away to the parents who nearly found them
The girl ruffles her dress, how beautiful your hair looks when it’s a mess, slips on her shoes, brushes off the green grass, she stands in th shadows, out of breath
I watch exhausted by what I’ve witnessed
The girl rushes off into the September night
On Maddison Avenue
241 · Aug 2016
The end ?
Jay 1988 Aug 2016
It's never been my goal in life to make lots of money
It's just, something I learned along the way now honey
I'm just stranded in this big old world trying to make my way through
With no money but pockets full of love to give I try to take care of you
We would sit together in our rags, those evenings when it's no longer sunny
And I'd still laugh at all your silly little jokes even when they ain't that funny
But now I'm laughing, laughing at those things we've done
Because I love you, you know I do but I don't know where we're going
I'm still laughing, laughing back at you, you see
Girl one day I hate you but the next I love you enough to set you free
Those things we talked about, in the evenings
You said you feel trapped girl, so I packed my bags, I'm leaving
But hey that ain't really, really what you want
I say I want to leave you but my heart tells me I can't
What are we doing, to ourselves my pretty girl
All we are is two small dots on the face of this small earth
And now you're laughing .... How I loved our laugh so sweet
I want to walk right over to you, and sweep you off your feet
Smiling at me, why can't we just get along
Every night I dream about you and by the day about you I write songs
I think about you, with every single breath I take
It's a constant struggle with you by my side in this world to make it
Lets laugh .... Laugh together at what we've done
Let me hold your hand when you need a friend or a shoulder to cry on
Together honey, it's pretty clear we ain't that good no more
But I cherish the love we used to have and you know I still adore you
And just maybe, when we both know what we want
We could meet up, then just maybe we could have then what we now can't
Let me kiss you, just one last time kiss me
Then I promise I'll love you just enough to set my baby free
240 · Sep 2016
The first kiss
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
The soft kiss of your lips, it felt like I’d been born all over again
You’d never been kissed before; those were the words that you said
And in the shelter of the shadows that were hiding from the sunlight
In the middle of the world, you were always there by my side
Close your eyes and take a breath, feel the electric
Darling I can hold you tight, and promise this kiss you’ll never forget it
We were just two desperate lovers, with youth on our side
Caught up in the moment, so beautiful the street beggar cried
Wishing she was youthful again and remembering the feeling
Of her own first kiss some moons ago beneath the run down school hall ceiling

Time she moved fast, is anything this good really meant to last ?
Your kiss is still mine, and for your sweet love, I still pine
I was besotted by the thought of you and you make me kind of crazy
Tell me I can kiss your lips once more, tell me pretty lady
I aint good enough to be your man and is this just a joke
You were an angel in my wildest dreams emerging from the smoke
And months they passed our silence grew as we ran out of things to say
When all we ever did before was French kissing night and day
The honeymoon periods over, pack up your bags and run
I said I’m sorry Maria, it’s all been kind of fun
But we don’t have that much in common when it’s all said and done
And maybe I was caught in the moment thinking my first kiss was the one
I walk down the same street, past the spot where we first kissed
And now and then I glance over and see our ghosts caught in the bliss
Of an eternal love locked kiss
239 · Aug 2016
The soldier
Jay 1988 Aug 2016
In 1933, my darling Martha and me
Took a ride out past the boat lake
Where the only other things there were trees
We layed out a picnic blanket
She fell to the grass, we both ate it
For desert she said it’s love to be had, but I’ve not yet made it
Together we made love
Alongside the river where frogs and fish come together
The trees were waving at me, how could this be happening to me
I asked for her hand and got down on one knee
I built a house for the two of us
Made a couple of extra rooms for the kids
We’ve got none yet and there’s no rush
We’ve got our lives together, my Martha and me
Then came 1939, you know the date, you know the time
I found myself standing in the enrollment line
Martha said I’d not go, you’re not medically fit you know
She was with child; surely they’d keep me home
Stand up straight said the major, I want your height and your date of birth
Your next of kin and the names of the parents that made you
And if in the muddy fields you should die
Do you have yourself a wife?
We need someone to tell when those ******* take your life
I write down Martha Nathaniel, an unborn baby named Daniel, he'll have the most beautiful laugh, you know it’s kind of sweet
I come from Measham parish, past the coal pits and bad habits; my address sir is 27 Bosworth Street
Down came the red stamp, the moist air, the walls were damp, a line of boys being sent to their death,
You’re medically fit man, the soldier shook my hand I closed my eyes and took one last breath
Went home to Martha and told her, in my arms I held her and said, I’d be back for Christmas day
I found myself flying so high, in the evening sky where the sun was pushing up and guiding us the way
Over to Germany, a photo of Martha and me lie in my wallet next to where my heart beat so with me she will stay
Then I heard a sound, the pilot turned around “we’ve been hit” prepare to escape
I didn’t see nothing but white, a mighty big old light, maybe it was time for my judgment day
A bullet, a bang and some lightning, below us the wounded were lying
The men still fighting I fall from the sky like an angel with no wings
I hit the earth and kept falling, all around me soldiers mourning, “I think that’s Michael, the sergeant major sings”
A knock on the door back home, Martha holds Daniel in her arms and smiles when she see’s the uniform
Then she realizes it ain’t me, she fell to the ground and cried for weeks, they said he was a brave man and died with dignity
There’s a picture of me on the mantel piece, where before my baby goes to sleep
She tells him “that is your daddy” he fought for this country
And although he isn’t here with you and me
He loved you ever so dearly and he lies somewhere in the fields where for him the willows weep, My boy he lives in your blue eyes, but he sleeps forever neath the dust and the skies, where he rests in an eternal sleep.
238 · Sep 2016
The Three Of Us
Jay 1988 Sep 2016
Mary and Jake holding hands by the lake
His lost soul broken her slender body aches
The weight of the world, turns there heart to stone
Two broken foreheads meet, their heads bowed to the ground
His hands pressed on her cheek, slowly down Jake's hand slides
Capture in his palms those dry tears Mary cried
So come on over Lucile, baby you can join us too
This right here is our therapy, we can make room for you
Over she slipped, the three huddled together out of sight
Jake guides his hand through Lucile's hair, Mary was smiling
Off they came, Mary slipped free from her clothes lay all to bare
Lucile guided her fingers over Mary's skin, like some long forgotten prayer
The moon was watching, dancing to every beat we made
In a world haunted by tragedy, look at the magic we created
The grass was wet, a firm imprint where Lucile lay
Like one of those white chalk lines of some lost soul, that will wash away with the rain
In the morning it was all done, together in some euphoria far, far away
Mary smiles and turns to them "let's do this again some day"
Jake pressed his head against Mary's ear, you'll never create this magic again
Stands in the conquered grasslands beneath the morning sun, buttons up his jeans and walks away
235 · Sep 2017
Gypsy
Jay 1988 Sep 2017
Septembers rain casts her shadow above the emerald painted Vardo
The sky hovers low on this day, and despite all her might the sun could not penetrate her clouded prison
Normal participants in this game of life would shelter in such circumstance
But the rain, she is the canopy of our life
As embraced by us as the stars which give us passage
Our children dance to her rythm as the limp fire desperately fights to provide warmth through the storm
We are Gypsy

Mary emerges into the darkness, from deep within the shelter the hands of her grandfather crafted
Her hair, coal black flowed more wild than any river
Her soul as free as a new born child
And her eyes, that colour is yet to be named
But to feel the touch of her cappuccino skin, that was the desire of all who's eyes bore witness to her beauty
Her heart a timepiece, each beat measured the seconds by which the world aged
For when her heart falters, i know my world shall cease
We are Gypsy

Our bodies are cleansed by the streams and rivers where the minnow dance
Our bodies dried by the air that surrounds us, and the sun when she finds us
We are as rooted to this earth as the ancient redwood
But, we are different
The only taste for our tongue is the creatures who once roamed this place by our side, and the produce provided by earth herself
Thirsts are quenched by the coulds and ancient springs

Our women hold a beauty unbeknown to mankind, and once the youth has wilted from their eyes
Then all of the beauty they hold is in the knowledge of the earth, and all of her worldly enchantments

After all, We are Gypsy
233 · Oct 2017
Magic
Jay 1988 Oct 2017
The covers were pulled away
Do you like my magic the magician said
I've spent so so long
To create this illusion just for you
I stood and realised
That i'd been revived
Nobody told me i was dead
But when i saw your eyes i said
What is this magic, what have you done to me
Can you please take it back, it's impossible to believe

I've fallen victim of, a different kind of love
Just to look at you, makes me doubt myself
Faith is made from those who take it
The world is full of beautiful women
Placed on earth to keep men sinning

I took hold of your hand
Your stepped off your shelf
Fell into my arms, made me doubt myself
Magic man stood and stared
Do you believe in magic yet ?
I never ever knew, magic like her could exist
How could i not believe, then resist
I looked into her eyes, tried to read the magic signs

Then he called you away
You took your spot back on your shelf
Placed the cover back over your face
Please don't make her go i said
Women were made to keep men sinning
But the world is full of beautiful women
Your sorcery is unforgiving
Conjuring from me unknown feeling

The covers were removed, magic was gone from this place
I just stand and stare, at your empty space

And i fell victim of, a different kind of love
Just to look at you, makes me doubt myself
230 · Aug 2017
Temptation
Jay 1988 Aug 2017
Pushing her soft hands through long jet-black hair
Sees her own reflection, into darkness she stares
Running her finger across the rim of her glass
Begging to be set free from decisions past
Over and over from the bar stool she stares at me
temptation burns me inside
Straight through the bottom of a half empty whisky glass
I see the pain that she hides

I’m just a man with a place down the road
You look real beautiful sat all alone
That ring on your finger doesn’t shine much no more
All faded like the smile you once had too
Take my hand and walk out this room
Let me strip you bare and carry your pain
A passionate embrace you can never explain

Somewhere in the city, was a husband
His wife was pretty, said he loved her
They had a daughter, and lots of money to buy nice things
She wasn’t at home, he was alone
Photographs of their wedding day
line the hallway
And on the coat hook one peg was empty
That wife was with me, money can buy you nice things
But can’t place love inside of that ring

He sits and he wonders where it all went wrong
That beautiful maiden asleep in my arms
Twisting his wedding ring round and around
Her shallow breath in my ears the only sound

Fly away, fly away it shouldn’t be this way you can live here in my arms
You only have one life you shouldn’t be his wife, set yourself free if you want

You wake in the morning and put on your ring
The smell of the autumn and songbirds of spring
You open the door only leaving your scent
In the hollow of the pillow where your body laid

Back home as she walks through the door, her head bows down
Her eyes meet the floor
One night of passion won’t fill that deep void
Of lack of affection from one that you loved
And the truth will come out in those words that aren’t spoken
And the guilt that you carry leaves you void of emotion

Now I walk these bars every night
Hoping that lovers will end up in a fight
And there will be a mark on her finger where a ring one did sit
And a place in her heart where mine will just fit
Fly away, fly away it shouldn’t be this way, she should be here in my arms
You only have one life, you shouldn’t be his wife just set yourself free if you want
229 · Aug 2016
For you
Jay 1988 Aug 2016
It was never enough; my love was never good enough they said
For you, for you, for you
You were the daughter of a father who, would never let us be
I was the lover of a daughter who fell in love with me
Secret nights we spent together, beneath the summer rain
Secret nights I sat alone in my room wondering if I will see you again
But those warm nights in the empty town when there’s no one else around
When our hands kiss and our lips stroke and your breath is the only sound
I would open my eyes and see, the girl who haunts my dreams
If you ever open your eyes enough you’d see nothing’s ever quite as it seems
If I could hold you forever I’d pull you close to me
If I had the strength my love I’d pull so hard until you became one with me
And if you only remember a few words I spoke, when you sit alone in your room
Remember the promise I made when I said my love was for you, for you, for you

We were forever growing older, but nothing moves that fast, I beg for your hand but you told me
Daddy said it would never last
Run away with me, I’ll run right by your side, and our feelings that shame us, we’d no longer hide
Open hands in the day time, and walks along the beach, and when the winter storm clouds gather, we can shelter out of reach,
Far away from the cynics, from all the doubters in the town, we’d just be two silent lovers in the downpour, with all our love around
Maybe we would stay together, then again maybe we won’t,
But we’ll always keep on guessing my love if our chance to take, we don’t
Look at us sitting here, you’re a lover, I’m a fool
But remember those promises I made when I promised my love was for you, for you, for you
223 · Aug 2017
Homage to the Titanic
Jay 1988 Aug 2017
David standing there watching his little angel child
Thomas was 3 and a half years old he looked up at David and smiled
“Daddy come here and play Daddy come sit on my boat”
David jumped in his bed and together across the oceans they floated
Daddy look at me I’m Captain Thomas, look at those giant waves
Don’t fall over board or they’ll wash you away into those darkened caves
In his room the two of them played, the daddy and the captain
Thomas fell asleep in daddy’s arms David tucked him in
Instead of walking away, he cuddled his boy and for a while stayed
Watching every breath that was made I could watch you forever and a day
He stroked the clothes on his back kissed the skin upon his neck
Rolled out of the bed kissed his son one more time and walked straight off the deck
The year was 1912; they’d built a titan of a boat a giant in the sea’s
Just for my darling Thomas, Mary and me
We don’t have much money, but  we’ll always have our dreams
We hear the sound of the engine and follow the titanic steam
Look daddy what’s that, it’s the boat I told you about
The one that’s taking us to that place we could only dream of, and the crowds all wave and shout
Here we come New York City we’re going to find our dreams
Leave behind the factory smoke filled skies and the filthy cobbled streets
I pulled out my ticket 3rd class, it cost every worldly possession I had
Staring down I see my blue eyed boy staring lovingly at his dad
I saw the look in his eyes, as he questioned which way should we go
But this floating city is a familiarity of which I do not know
Welcome aboard Mr Smith, we’ve been expecting you,
take your wife and child to the 3rd class deck room a hundred and twenty two
I held Thomas’s hand, the sheer uncertainty
in my mind I was also a child, but yet I’m twenty three
The first class man with a top hat, a cane and a beautiful wife,
Staggered among the 3rd class pilgrims to catch a glimpse of the other side of life
We found 122, Mary smiling; Thomas silently watches the walls of the white star line
We dine like never before, we never had no money
now we lay beneath millionaire kings, My god I love the irony
We spend our days, between the cabin and the sun,
Daddy, where did you say we were going?
4 unholy nights, a cramped room,
Thomas clings on tightly like the stars to the moon
We’re going somewhere special, somewhere we’ve never been!
They call it New York City, my boy the city of your dreams
It’s late on the 14th; nearly the 15th I take a walk, along the floating streets
Deserted deck floors and empty bars, water covered the empty seats
I gaze up at night, the sky was filled with stars,
a tiny voice in my head says Never forget who you are
Just then the earthquake came; we’ve hit an iceberg they said,
Blank looks in doomed eyes Mary and Thomas asleep in their beds
We’re in this field on fire, but there’s no water to put it out,
we’re about to be eaten alive, where no one can hear our shout
I hear some first class man, They say the ship is sinking,
Get your wife and child and find a boat to get in
Leave the 3rd class here, they aren’t needed,
maybe some women and children but the men are better off dead
Half the boats now gone, I’m back to room 122,
Thomas is crying he’s hungry, Mary asks what we’re to do
I place my hand on her Thomas is still shaking and crying
I’m scared daddy, someone said we’re dying
I close the cabin door, Thomas you’re the captain
Jump on the bed, he pulled the covers over and let me in
Mary darling you’re serving drinks, so let’s have one,
Water crawls through the door, she smiles, “it won’t be long
Look daddy it’s real, I’m really sailing,
the hysterical mothers from first class, a haunting wailing
Go on Thomas you’ve got this, I’m so proud of you,
Sit straight daddy and I’ll get us home, In the air was violin music
Water coming closer to the mattress where they played,
Look daddy I’m really doing this, for our boy Mary cried and prayed
It’s getting cold now, “we’ll be alright won’t we daddy”
just keep driving us home Thomas just cuddle daddy
In the end the three of them, jumped on the play boat,
the ship that could never sink, could never float
Cabin 122, that one fell silent,
the creaking of the wood, the metal giant bent
The ocean bed became a graveyard for the 3rd class;
the first class survivors to the dead each April 15th raised a glass
12000 feet to the bottom, there lies a captain,
3 years was all that he saw of this world he lived in
He wasn’t born with the privilege of the rich and famous
But he had the love of his daddy, and in his arms forever he lays, until the earth reclaims us
In 1985, the deep sea divers found us
Sent there machines to the depths of the ocean
Parted the muddy waters around us
A light shone through the round window
Thomas’s hair still golden, dancing in the water, caught in the glow
The divers said a prayer for the sight at which they saw
Me and Thomas still huddled together on the bed, Mary kneeling on the floor
They turned off their lights and left me with my son and bride
Rose back up to the sun thought of my Thomas and they cried
There’s a boy down there, lying in his daddy’s arms
There’s a woman still praying on her knees
Surely there was room for that child and his mother
But there they lay together in the darkness of the icy sea’s
221 · Jan 2017
To be a man
Jay 1988 Jan 2017
The wind feels different on my face
The sun shone brighter
You turned this failing poet I said
Into an all out writer
The sound the ocean waves make
I've never noticed before
Finding my voice I serenade you
Pink blankets on the floor

Everything I've ever done
Leading up to now
Was to prepare myself for this new day
But I'm still learning how
To be a man

You smiled, you smiled and I saw it
Spend my days worrying about how to protect you from the world
That's if we don't destroy it
There are wars outside but you don't know
One day I'm afraid you'll see
Every action has a consequence
Even birds dodge bullets, they're not so free

Everything I've ever done
Leading up to now
Was to prepare myself for this new day
But I'm. Still learning how
To be a man

When I was a boy, it was all about the drinking, and women
Now I'm learning how to be a man
who was a kidding
Those nights you rested in my arms
Floating on broken toys and pen marked dolls
Stranded on an island of mess
They were the best
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