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Anything can
look like a poem
and sound philosophical
simply by moving
the words on
different lines.

Am I doing it right?
Is this
really
talent?
Art?
Effort?

I think I am trying.
Really, I am
I go back and change the order
and I break lines
where it sounds right
But it does not take me long.
Not at all.

I try to be
intentional
and call it natural rhythm.
Instinct and style taking over
I alternate between
agonizing every detail
like When to Capitalize
and publishing free form poems without looking over them twice.

How is writing supposed to feel?
Should I labor?
or should it flow?
Or do I get to decide?

I think the things I talk of
mean something
at least.

But am I just
pretentious?

fooling myself into thinking that
using common poetry formats
somehow makes my work worthwhile?
Problems only We True Artists face.
 Aug 2014 Jay Pan
Emily Dickinson
136

Have you got a Brook in your little heart,
Where bashful flowers blow,
And blushing birds go down to drink,
And shadows tremble so—

And nobody knows, so still it flows,
That any brook is there,
And yet your little draught of life
Is daily drunken there—

Why, look out for the little brook in March,
When the rivers overflow,
And the snows come hurrying from the fills,
And the bridges often go—

And later, in August it may be—
When the meadows parching lie,
Beware, lest this little brook of life,
Some burning noon go dry!
 Aug 2014 Jay Pan
Natasha
I'll
scream and
cry and
fight for
his life
to save him from this folly.

But
all the
angels and
saints and
even God himself,
cannot save this type of unholy.
hes going down the wrong path,  I've done all I can
 Dec 2013 Jay Pan
Natasha
Oh, how I pity my poor pessimist
Do you not mind what I scribe?
Does curiosity never approach you
When I know you can't sleep at night

If you do, I hope you discover
That I write simply- you & I.
With my being beyond the horizon
In these words you must rely

A carpenters daughter,
(It's true) I was never taught, how to fix the lonely
But I assure you dear
You won't be in the slightest disappointed

My entire life is an intricate patchwork
Of multiple afflictions
Through hotel rooms & glamour
Abuse & drug addiction

"Through bathrooms & ballrooms
On dumpsters & heirlooms"
Baby, we'll be fine
I know in my minds eye
We'll be fine


As for the sea
I feel the vibrato,
A ripple when you're lonely
But the tides will greet you, excited at the pier
To bring you back home to me  
For darling,
I long only to bury my tear-stained face
In the man too far to say he's home
I do not choose the life I live but it's the only one I can call my own.

*One day
I promise
You will wake in bliss
Between ruffled sheets
And my petite, contented figure
The pessimist will embody nothing
But the purest form of happiness

— The End —