Im just a boy
Sitting alone
Exiled to stare
At this phone
On a Saturday night
While my girlfriend
Is talking to a boy
Alone

"We were just talking"
She said

"You can trust me"
She said

I trusted her very little
By the trail of hickies
Left by the lies
She drew up on my phone

"We were just talking"
She said

"You can trust me"
She said

These messages ring
In my ear,
Echoing
Through the tears
That mask the sadness
Left behind
By her eyes
Those dam eyes
Clogging up the pillow
I cry from.

Im just a boy
Sitting alone
Exiled to stare
At this phone
On a Saturday night
Hoping that last night
Was just
A dream

I hear you like I'm near you,
On your soapbox full of rage
As you fill your need to shout a little more
Voices on voices upon voices
Who need to voice what they feel is right.
Filled in a sea of people who you feel are wrong.
You try to believe the good in every man.
Especially this man.

You don't have to tell me twice
I gave my nimble secrets to that talkative man
Paying my way for this one way ticket
To the next thing that will save us.
However I was left with empty hands
Nothing to show but these lessons made from fools gold
It's hard to change this march of time.

We look at each others feet as we can hear the hums of this being over soon
Over me
Over you
Over the fact that I checked the boxes of chances you had.
No more room for the these checks
They are bouncing back,
To the same place
That you took my breath away long ago.

Ironic.
Because the same place I swept you away in my arms
Is the same place.
Were i just found my breath that I was searching for.
When I was looking for calming voice
For my breath fresh air
I found your febreeze like musk
Covering the fact
That your smell isn't welcomed
Your aroma of far fetched excuses.
And “give me another chance.”
On why you acted the way you were.

This what used to be us in this Apartment flat
puzzle pieces that used to fit oh so right
Now pushing away like two backwards magnets,
Stuck to the notion
Of packing my bags
And made sure that ****** door stayed closed.

I forget what my face looks like
Because my face is always in the Facebooks,
Poking my head through other people's lives
Wishing I could be invited to.
I suffer from this curse
Of being picked last in everyone's mental gym class.
They normally pick the stronger ones,
the Foxier ones, the ones who wink at them
With quick glances across the gym.
We, my friends, are the easily forgotten ones.

Oh hello moon we meet again
As I sway in your spotlight
Walking down the streets
Kicking cigarettes down onto the road
From the **** end of my last joke.
Neon lights bleed off my face
I do a double take from someone smells like Spearmint
And looks just like you.
I bit my tongue and closed my heart
As I hope that my feelings for you die.
Like a broken clock it still haunts me with my past time.
As I continue to stumble home
Thinking how you hate the name Dina.

My regrets tighten my Nikes
we are running out of time.

The moment I rest my eyes it’ll be the last time I’ll be able to feel this way,

You’re here in my arms.

The feelings of my ribs being so tenderly tickled that they fall off the bone.

I’ll miss us, glued together in the darkest of nights.
I’ll miss being your prince in shining armor, using the rime on the autumn grass to guide us home.

Let me pour some gas station coffee

I want to stay awake for one more stained night. I want to avoid the truth that meets me when my alarm goes off.

The moment that I will be officially exiled off of the Love Club once more.

She walks to the rhythm of the wind,
Gently gracing her presence
With her gentle blades of grass that hugged my feet
You mother nature, calm my youthful and troubling ways.
like a cool pillow,
You made me smile as I drifted asleep
To blue colors of the moon.
Yet I don't see you anymore,
This connection is broken
By the blaring horn of the locked up freeway.
My innocence being fracked till my heart becomes old and deceitful.
These machines made by other machines spew smog into these unfamiliar skies,
I look into the sky to see where your love has gone,
I just want to know
Who slayed the moon?

Anxiety is nothing but your brain conspiring against you.
Casting a cloud of misery
Weighed down by the unrealistic expectations you put under yourself.
You placed them there from your past life,
Past success, failures
Past lovers, Enemies.
Your mind exiles into the trenches of your own mind.
Flipping through scrap books filled with joy.
You didn't hate this person you have become,
You wouldn't sit in your cold car idling
Having shouting matches with the voices in your head.
Back before you got the math wrong on which factors lead to this moment,
Forgoing a masochistic valley into your heart
Sculpted by the who, what, when, where and why you ended up like this.

But you're still that person.
You still can find these beautiful moments that happen every day.
It’s not your fault.
People have hurt you in the past,
And they will hurt you in the future.
You just need to learn to breathe sometimes.
It's the only thing that you can control that's around you.