Mind so jumbled,
I’ve forgotten how to speak
words that can complete the thoughts
that fill each lobe of my brain with
terror.
I got so comfortable
in this new existence,
I forgot there are still hardships left.
A lump in my larynx makes breathing stiff,
Unsteady beats pulse in my neck
through a throat that’s quickly closing.
I should stop being surprised by
the chatter I hear,
the defamations,
the deceit,
the dishonesty,
but I don’t know how to comprehend
a human being
who acts so inhuman.
We are supposed to be a complex species,
unique in our ability to show love and compassion,
to place others ahead of ourselves,
to act from a heart that can understand
the immensity of a tear shed
out of sheer  benevolence,
but all I’ve experienced
from the spectral bluster
of a web where the spider lies
is an animalistic need to please
one’s own desires
to the point of pathological nepotism.
Dear Lord,
just steady the drum in my chest
as I fold my hands to pray.