When I close my eyes
I see you
You occupy my mind
my soul, my heart

I close my eyes
I feel I'm inside out
the tide washes my face
I am falling from your grace

There is a ladder to heaven
that leads straight to hell
and I guess I shall thank you
for shoving me the shortest way.

This is a night
so cold and dark
even if the sun
shines so bright outside
my fear gives me a blindfold.

I hear the voice scream
pointing out my inability
laughing at my weaknesses
humiliating me for insecurity
criticizing relentlessly my every mistake.

I am slave to its tyranny
every word I say is twisted
and put back into my mouth
I don't give up without a fight
so I can hurt myself even further.

I let it grow
Let it spread like a cancer
eating away at my life, my soul
and every hope I had is crushed
under the weight of this dark, dark twisted mind.

But I will walk on
this path that leads nowhere
I can go on, blinded, torn apart
take this rotten body, take this thing called pride
I can live in sewers, I can count my days and nights.

When this hell is over
I can walk with head up high
I know I tried my hardest
I fought and I survived
until the sun will rise...

I cannot forgive myself
for forgiving you.
                                                            ­                         
                                       ­                                                I cannot find a way
                                                             ­                      to look past our mistakes.

                                         I cannot look into
                                             your ice cold eyes.

I cannot forgive myself
for letting you do this
      
                                                                I cannot forgive myself
                                                                   And I cannot forget you.