It was easy, it was fun
Living in our fantasy land
Drawing our plans out
We'd drift into imaginary possibilities
Back then I'd show up
At your front door
Two unfortunate children
One unlikely chance
Like the best of them, we'd fall
Land in separate places
Sometimes it felt like planets
And only I had my head straight
You looked behind you constantly
Was it hard to face forward?
Leaving behind your fight
I couldn't throw punches
It was hard, it was fate

In three seconds
We'll be the talk of the world
The lingering at its max
Fire burning to a scorching blue
The two of us swimming
In a pool of seduction and intoxication
I see your soul in the distance
In between the ocean
And the clouds, white and clear
I occupy your holy space
Your entity fills me up with utter delight
Let's think for a moment
Do you need your job?
Do I need anyone else?
There's no telling
What words mean right now
As I stare at the definition
Of desire

Last night I panicked
Over another future
I saw a man
With lost hope, no purpose
I told the ones I could trust
Keep looking out for that boy
He's confident, he's vulnerable
There's no telling where he'll go
He's been hurt far too much
Breaking his heart for no one important
He ain't got any time
Looking for a way to live each night
Spilling his guts of guilt
Will he learn to let go?

--------

I wake up
My brain stirs, confused
It pops in a frenzy
It's late but my thoughts are on time
I do a pretty good job at understanding
What is the truth and what isn't
The choir bursted to life and I smiled
Let this moment be mine
And all the others be dedicated to the past
I will never be fine
But in this moment
I am

I feel heavy in my chest
And fatigue is my only friend
This is what I accept every day

A coal black soul
I look for ways to cope
Look around and stare

There is a way of sleeping
And not knowing when
To wake up because you
Have no one to wake up for

What am I to say?
The first line of the day
Had to be proclaimed
Like a daily announcement
You mistook my observation
For an emotional concern

I don't love you and
I don't care to either
You are a difficult beast
Enslaved me for years
Expected me to share
My intimate nature with you
No, I could not
You don't talk things through

You went insane, like me
Trying to do your best
I share your dedication
Nothing more
I will have vanished
You will spend another year
In a bubble
Made up of denial

But if I miss anything
It's your unique way
Of saying "I love you"

Before a story is ever continued
It must fully begin
My life has been confusing
Because of this
I never know how to explain my own story

Look out my window
There's a lifeless frame in the streets
As disturbing as the truth
The violins make their dark tremble
The walls talk to me in whispers
But always wish to scream
They just sit and stare
As cold as that frame

I'm drifting along the streets
Ignoring the cars and the people around
There's a beauty to loving yourself
And embracing sadness at the same time

My heart hasn't rested
For the past month
Each time I ache for peace
I feel less awake

I had to **** you twice
Got rid of the evidence
But my mind still focused on you
I looked at my face in the mirror
Saw someone worthy of love
But couldn't find someone else
My heart is retired
My love had flown out the window
Wordless, worthless
I'm never gonna be happy