i keep seeing hawks
or maybe it’s really you
swooping down to tell me what’s new
maybe they’re buzzards
and they can tell how i feel
lost without you,
a useless spinning wheel
maybe they’re birds but
maybe they’re planes
and i’m looking for meaning in nothing
in this digital age

*(r.e.)

"I don't want to be forgotten."
"I don't want to forget you."

*It's too bad things change.

If you walk through a forest, you leave footprints.
And the footprints you left is one ****** nail print,
Several long blonde hairs,
And a circulating memory.

Circulating strands,
Your passionate scratches,
That embrace.

Why didn't this happen sooner.

I was dumb and I was young and I thought I was ready.

I thought I wanted it.

Society told me, from day ONE
          That I did.
Nature told me, from day ONE
          That I did.
I convinced myself, from day ONE
          That I did.

And her body said
          "Marshall, you know you want it."
                    And so I did.


For months after that I hated myself.
I wanted to carve out those memories
         With any knife I could find.
I had betrayed myself
          And no sympathy or empathy could find me.
I had prepared myself for failure and executed it beautifully.
I had obeyed the hormones in my brain
          And the actors on TV.
I had become a product of society and evolution
          And I should have been happy
                    But. I. Wasn't.
My dreams became nightmares before
I could even fall asleep at night.

I wanted to forget.
But it's hard to forget one's own downfall.
One's own betrayal.

The scar tissue on my brain
Brought back all the pain,
No matter how hard I tried to fight,
I kept bringing myself back to that night.

                                                  I want to forget.

There's few things God and I have in common.
But I can think of one.

I get lost in your eyes. Figuratively.
And He got lost in your eyes. Literally.

And does my heart beat for the thought of her,
Or is it the presence of her comfort,
That makes me feel like I am so **** sure
That she and I could be such great lovers.
Is it the fact that she can laugh so great
That I am sure the gods boom and smile too,
Or is it how she stealthily speaks weight
Through the actions she takes in telling truth.
She takes me on some sort of shocking flight
When I search for what I truly do feel,
She makes easy the fire and stops the fight,
She takes the tall monster and makes him kneel.

We are based on a foundation of trust,
Which tells me that this is not just some lust.

Those roads that lead from here,
I want them.
I want the stories in their cracks and the sand within their grooves.

I want the
Click
Clack
Click
Clack
Of shoes against their grain.

I want the drops of oil
And smell of winter when it comes.

I want to leave.