People 'round here only leave town
To be buried somewhere quieter.
I hope you understand why I run from them.

Due to the graphic nature of the universe, creative expression is advised.

Stop looking for someone to settle you down.

No.

Meet someone to stay wild with

And *run.

I cut the middle fingernail of the middle
finger
right hand
real short
and I began rubbing along her ****
as she sat upright in bed
spreading lotion over her arms
face
and *******
after bathing.
then she lit a cigarette:
"don't let this put you off,"
an smoked and continued to rub
the lotion on.
I continued to rub the ****.
"You want an apple?" I asked.
"sure, she said, "you got one?"
but I got to her-
she began to twist
then she rolled on her side,
she was getting wet and open
like a flower in the rain.
then she rolled on her stomach
and her most beautiful ***
looked up at me
and I reached under and got the
**** again.
she reached around and got my
****, she rolled and twisted,
I mounted
my face falling into the mass
of red hair that overflowed
from her head
and my flattened **** entered
into the miracle.
later we joked about the lotion
and the cigarette and the apple.
then I went out and got some chicken
and shrimp and french fries and buns
and mashed potatoes and gravy and
cole slaw,and we ate.she told me
how good she felt and I told her
how good I felt and we
ate the chicken and the shrimp and the
french fries and the buns and the
mashed potatoes and the gravy and
the cole slaw too.

washed-up, on shore, the old yellow notebook
  out again
  I write from the bed
  as I did last
  year.
  will see the doctor,
  Monday.
  "yes, doctor, weak legs, vertigo, head-
  aches and my back
  hurts."
  "are you drinking?" he will ask.
  "are you getting your
exercise, your
  vitamins?"
  I think that I am just ill
  with life, the same stale yet
  fluctuating
  factors.
  even at the track
  I watch the horses run by
  and it seems
  meaningless.
  I leave early after buying tickets on the
  remaining races.
  "taking off?" asks the motel
  clerk.
  "yes, it's boring,"
  I tell him.
  "If you think it's boring
  out there," he tells me, "you oughta be
  back here."
  so here I am
  propped up against my pillows
  again
  just an old guy
  just an old writer
  with a yellow
  notebook.
  something is
  walking across the
  floor
  toward
  me.
  oh, it's just
  my cat
  this
  time.

the history of melancholia
includes all of us.
me, I writhe in ***** sheets
while staring at blue walls
and nothing.
I have gotten so used to melancholia
that
I greet it like an old
friend.
I will now do 15 minutes of grieving
for the lost redhead,
I tell the gods.
I do it and feel quite bad
quite sad,
then I rise
CLEANSED
even though nothing
is solved.
that's what I get for kicking
religion in the ***.
I should have kicked the redhead
in the ***
where her brains and her bread and
butter are
at ...
but, no, I've felt sad
about everything:
the lost redhead was just another
smash in a lifelong
loss ...
I listen to drums on the radio now
and grin.
there is something wrong with me
besides
melancholia.

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying
Every breath I take feels like it's way too much
Since you're counting down from three
I trust that you'll stay with me

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying
I'd cut myself if I knew how to bleed
Just because I'm on morphine
doesn't mean my heart is as numb as me

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying
Every step I take feels like it's way too far
If you want to hold my hand
as I go then I'll understand

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying  
It feels like I only notice love while I'm dying

lately ive been counting stars but not my blessings
         i remember to go to school but i forget the lessons
i can see my talents
           but not for what i am destined
i haven't thought of the answer
             because im caught up on the question
my heart is beating f a s t lately
                   my patience is spread thin
my emotions are


    u                              
          p              
                    and

             ­               d      
                                o
­                                     w          
                    like the ocean  
                
left alone somewhere at sea level
feeling sick from the rocky motion

he's knocking me   d
                                      o
he's kicking my ***          w
he's getting another punch i**n