i don't usually do drugs,
but I'd do you

did you know that I cried on the way home from your house after our first kiss?
it was almost as if my body hadn't known warmth until your lips touched mine
as if my apathy was melted away by your touch
I don't ******* know much but I know about you
I know you hate how your hair curls up when it rains, but love the smell the rain leaves behind
and I know you don't like my sad music, but still kiss me when I sing to it
you hate going to your dads, and you like to be the little spoon
your lips part slowly, not fast
and every time you tell me we're going to eat healthy, you look at me with these eyes and I know we're not
when you cry your eyes get the brightest shade of green, and God I hate it but I love it at the same time
when you fall asleep you shake and twitch, but you don't like to believe it
youre good with your hands, and your lips, and your eyes
your heart monitor used to go off when we would make out outside your house
and you like that my head is cluttered, but sometimes you wish you could fix it
so maybe I don't know where we're going or remember where we've been but I know every inch of you like the boards on the dock we used to sneak out on
and I can love you better than any ******* who will ever think they have you figured out.

it's okay
even though you feel like the bones in your hands are breaking from holding onto everything for so long
and your head is aching from being wrapped around the things it shouldn't have to understand
it's normal
and don't worry about the bags under your eyes or how your ribs have been showing through your shirt
that's just a part of being a teen
your sleeping schedule doesn't matter as long as your school calendar is full
and who cares if you can't find it in you to smile, there's plenty of time for that after college
you'll be fine
and don't pay attention to that heart problem you've been having, you can't afford to miss first period again
how would it look if you failed comp 1?
don't forget to volunteer, but make sure you do your homework
give your all in class, give your all to your coach, give your all to your family, give your all to God, give your all to yourself
spread yourself out as far as possible, but make sure to hold everything in
you'll figure it out
because it's normal and okay and fine to **** yourself while setting yourself up for life
don't think about it too much
it's not that hard
just let go
but hold on
and change the world, but don't get too ahead of yourself
make the team, make the grades, make up work, make friends, make your life
but break yourself in the process