I used to b happy .
Is like saying I used to breathe .
When did I decide to stop breathing .
The sweet , soft , air .
When did I decide it was ok to let a man determine my happiness .
When did I stop looking at the sky & start Staring  at the ground .
When did I stop looking in the mirror ?
When did life become a headache instead of a blessing .
I was overcome w this obsession to prove my pure , untainted love to u.
I was no longer worried about me .
Simply consumed w intoxicating , dangerous thoughts of loving u .
But our love is no longer pure , now it's like a dying rose .
Dry , dark , hard . Yet still beautiful .
Some people save their dead roses .
Right ?

Ever felt trapped?
Smothered
Suffocated
No escape
No way out
Short of breath
Short of sight
One way
Dead end
Ever felt trapped in a memory?



With no desire to find a way out .

You asked me what I'm running from
My response to u was nothing but a blank stare.
Maybe in my mind I think it'll make the problem disappear into thin air.
Emotions run wild, this feeling is new to me.
Hoping the day will never come that it stops being everlasting.
New beginnings, something u can't avoid, what happens when u feel  your heart is nothing but a toy?
That everything you ever hoped for was only fake joy?
To let u in and feel complete, almost feels unreal to me.
My heart is a playground, with my ongoing sentiments you make trouble.
Hoping you won't make my world crumble.
Yet at the end of the day I still want you there.
Does this sick game of love seem fair?
But life is uneasy you'll have me on my toes.
What happens when we both decide to fold?
You said the sun doesn't shine forever, but does this darkness have to last until the end of never?

I smile,
you smile back
we kiss.
Every moment I spend without you is a memory forever missed.

Come a little closer so
I can passionately devourer you .

I wish I never met you .
So I could've learned to love myself more than anyone else .
So that I could've gotten high on the emotion of life .
So I could've known what it felt like to have someone catch me when I fall .
Or to breathe without second thoughts ,
& know my love was being reciprocated .
So I can know that someone out there feels as though my love is valuable .
That I'm valuable .
That what I bring to this fragile glass table is more than enough .
So I can love without any inhibitions ,
And run into my future without carrying a piece of you within me .
If a genie granted me one wish , I'd wish I never met you .

It's time for me to let it go .
Let go of what we were
What I thought it was going to be
The thought of you and I
You and me
The thought
The idea of an eternity .
Let go of every birthday wish
Every bit of hope in this thing we called
Us
And instill hope
Power
Grace
Strength
I'm what will eventually only be me for
Eternity .

I seen the sun this morning ,
But not like every morning,
This morning the sun greeted me ,
She looked down and smiled ,
At me .
She told me everything was going to be ok,
And that my future would be filled wih brighter days .
No more long , cold , nights .... She was here finally , the sun to melt away all the ice .

Love is how I stare at u .
Long , slow , without any thoughts .

Love is how I kiss u.
Strong , fierce , greedy , and hungry for more.

Love is how I yearn to hold u.
Tight , close , desperately awaiting your next touch .

Love is how I dance at midnight for u.
Naked, bare, slow , ready to rupture .

Love is 1:52 AM , your asleep and I'm here admiring u .