Its been nearly a year since I last seen you

I love it so very much

I want someone who wants me, who thinks of me and smile's like i made all there dreams come true

2:55
You told me you loved me after endless hours in your sheets with you in between my thighs
2:56
You dropped me off at my house, before you let me out of the car you grabbed my neck and kissed me-I was completely breathless
2:57
You drove out of my driveway, i walked into my house, giddy, never before had i been this alive
2:58
when i signed onto Facebook and seen what you had said about your girlfriend "I love her, She's my everything"
2:59
The giddiness and the alive feeling was long gone now, and the sorrow and pain was like dry swallowing a pill, my throat was tight, my eyes were filling up with tears.... I ran to take a shower hoping to get you off of me
Scrub.Scrub.Scrub nothing worked you were still here
3:00
I'm laying in bed, apologizing to my pillow for soaking it with my tears...
3:01
ding
Looking at my phone and seeing that it was a message from you
"hey love, i really enjoyed today ;) i love you"

*I love you too

I wanted to know what your lips felt like
I wanted to know what your hips felt like
I wanted to know how good you'd feel pressed up against me
I wanted to see in the morning with the sun peeking through your windows and onto your face
I wanted to know what your deepest darkest fears are
How you cry
How you scream
What you do when your alone
I want to know your mind
I want to know your heart more than i want to know mine

I can still remember
how i started to tremble
My teeth snapped and unsnapped
along with my hands
fist; unfist

My eyes would gleam
my lips would become red
as would my checks
My heart would pound out of my chest

All because of the message you sent

when i was younger i realized i couldn't swim deeper into the pool
I was curious
I wanted to know what was there

when i was 14 i realized i wanted to swim in you
in your mind
in your heart

Then i realized, how much curiosity hurts
And the deeper i got

I could taste your salty taste in my mouth
Instead of having the water all around me
It was you, your hands, your body...

when i was 14
I realized you were drowning me